Change in 2019

Yeah it’s definitely an ongoing payment that needs to be made every day. Little bits chipping away each and every day to repay what’s been borrowed from your future. I like the analogy a lot. Takes time.

Day 5 now. Still so early in recovery. Daydreamed on way into work about have a gamble free remainder of the year and how it would turn my life around. Got to make it reality.

Lunchtime Day 5. I’m coming out of the fog and starting to feel more normal. Not so much of a grey cloud hanging over me. Feel weird as I almost want to feel worse to highlight the seriousness of continuing to relapse. If I brush it off and go back to normality swiftly then it downplays it and makes it seem fine and not a big issue.

Evening Day 5. Certainly don’t have the same doom and gloom hanging over me today. Rebuilding my life from here.

Good work. Day 5 and GF. Before we know it we will be at day 10 / 20 / 30 and so on. All we can do is our best. I bet if you think back to your gambling lows 5 days sounds hard, but we made it and here we are.

ill be your GF buddy, so we can both hit the days the same.

I’m determined to bury this addiction as much as I can. I know it will haunt me for life and it will be challenging but at least I can change moving forward, hopefully suppressing the urges.

I find walking gets me out and about instead of sitting at home dwelling on life. Put some music on and off I go. 🙂

CJ.

Nice one CJ! I’ve easy walked a marathon over the past 5 days. I walked for about 4 hours Saturday afternoon and then went out again at night. I stick on the Allen Carr audiobook or addiction podcasts.

Yeah we need to keep posting everyday and I believe we’ll get through this.

I think we will get there.

If we fail, that’s ok we just get back up on the horse and try again.

I’ve put stops in place this time though to help prevent it. Fingers crossed my mind is strong enough 🙂

CJ.

I can’t fail again. It would be too mentally devastating for me. I know I can’t possibly gamble ever again. I can’t control it at all. I’m out.

Looking for some side hustles to fill the time void...

I’m out too.

Walk time and music blasting. I promised my little guy I’d do his Pokemon which will test my ability to kill an urge. 🙂

In relation to the Pokemon, what does that entail?

Whilst I walk I catch little fictional characters in the real world 🙂

I'm suprised youv'e not seen them Change ?

It's like a flashmob turning up some day's , only instead of dancing to a Justin Timberlake number people seem to mill around on their phones catching these little feckers :)) , there was one outside my chemist shop the other day and at first I truly thought some old dear had collapsed because of the circle gathered around , I was waiting for a paramedic to arrive and everything :)) .

I suppose it's no different to collecting football card's in my day ....................... except the whole world didn't turn up at mine trying to grab the same card ? :))

Sorry not little fecker's ( fictional characters ) :))

Hahaha you got it A9.

I kinda got carried away tonight though and walked 9 miles. Oops.

CJ.

LOL ! , Yep I've seen em with the rucksack's too :))