88anon,
I'd like to apologise.
My advice maybe was both a bit strident and aggressive.
We do however want you to succeed, and I'm glad you posted on Saturday. It bodes well for the future.
The first days / weeks are the hardest as you are breaking an ingrained cycle.
Always worth asking you is it excitement you crave or is it just something to fill the time, relief stress or boredom ?
Get some exercise, go to a gym or start running. If you can't run, just walk.
Good luck.
Well done on the accounts mate, that’s a great start.
treat every day as a challenge, stick with it and try and start afresh, it’s a long road we are all on.
good luck mate
88anon,
I'd like to apologise.
My advice maybe was both a bit strident and aggressive.
We do however want you to succeed, and I'm glad you posted on Saturday. It bodes well for the future.
The first days / weeks are the hardest as you are breaking an ingrained cycle.
Always worth asking you is it excitement you crave or is it just something to fill the time, relief stress or boredom ?
Get some exercise, go to a gym or start running. If you can't run, just walk.
Good luck.
appreciate the apology - maybe sometimes people are susceptible to negative comments and the tough love advice, myself included. Quite frankly it wasn't what i need/needed to hear but i can understand the logic.
I crave the excitement, the rush. I go to the gym 4 times a week as it is and whilst that does wonders for my mental health, i do not get excited about it, pre/during/post workout! The excitement i can only compare to winning loads of money to be honest. I am unsure what can ever replace that, or replicate it in any way at all. I know in the grand scheme of things its irrelevant about winning, just merely referring to the buzz.
Well done on the accounts mate, that’s a great start.
treat every day as a challenge, stick with it and try and start afresh, it’s a long road we are all on.
good luck mate
cheers mate, it does feel good not having an outlet to gamble and makes me think about it less knowing that i physically can't!
Please use Gamstop to exclude from everywhere, I was exactly in the same situation as you with a very similar amount and didnt exclude everywhere. I then oppened new accounts and then got into debt trying to win my losses back.
DAY 6 GF
Not a good day today, woke up in the night thinking about the money i have spent and what i would do if it was in my bank now, pay off mortgage etc etc! I don't want to gamble, and i am not missing the gambling, i am however missing the 'highs' and craving a rush of excitement.....
You are experiencing what we all have I am sure of that
Stay Strong and your highs will come from other directions
ONE WEEK GF....DAY 7
Not much has changed, had the unpleasantness of the transfer from savings going in my account today, so had to put across £40k to my business account. A brutal reminder of what i have done, and a huge amount of money i have essentially just given away.
Trying not to let it ruin the day, trying to remain positive.
The mental & emotional effects of this are of a much greater magnitude than the urge to gamble which is minimal.
Hi 88anon
I'm pleased to see you’re still posting.
its hard at first to forget about the money lost especially when it’s a vast amount, I lost a sickening amount too over the years, it was actually thinking about the money that kept me active in the addiction circle. Once i learned it was never coming back that was when I could truly move on.
You mentioned replacing the buzz that gambling gave you? Why replace something that bought you so much harm?
From reading your posts I can see that you’re reasonable wealthy, have you ever asked yourself how you got addicted? Was it all started with a happy memory? Is that happy memory something that you keep trying to recreate? The above is a question that someone asked me a few years ago that put me on the right path.
If you’re struggling to sleep at night try the headspace app. There’s also a few self help YouTube videos out there that will help you too.
deano
Hi 88anon
I'm pleased to see you’re still posting.
its hard at first to forget about the money lost especially when it’s a vast amount, I lost a sickening amount too over the years, it was actually thinking about the money that kept me active in the addiction circle. Once i learned it was never coming back that was when I could truly move on.
You mentioned replacing the buzz that gambling gave you? Why replace something that bought you so much harm?
From reading your posts I can see that you’re reasonable wealthy, have you ever asked yourself how you got addicted? Was it all started with a happy memory? Is that happy memory something that you keep trying to recreate? The above is a question that someone asked me a few years ago that put me on the right path.
If you’re struggling to sleep at night try the headspace app. There’s also a few self help YouTube videos out there that will help you too.
deano
Hi Deano
I am finding it difficult to forget the money lost, very difficult in fact. I do not think about historic losses, but the most recent one being the biggest loss i have ever had by a country mile. Just thinking about what i could have done with the cash instead eats me up inside.
In regards to 'the buzz' i can only refer to it as the feeling when you get a big win, the excitement. Nobody gambles to lose, so guess when you hit a big win its a feeling of accomplishment coupled with financial freedom (albeit until the next loss!).
I don't know how i got addicted to be honest, i used to play arcade £5 JP slots when i was younger as lived near the seaside, that progressed to bookies slots and horses / accumulators then online. I became infatuated with wealth, with having the best of everything. When winning, gambling enabled me to have the things my salary didn't allow. So i guess i craved big wins to bring financial freedom and materialistic 'stuff'.
DAY 8 GF - not gambled, nor had the urge to gamble, just the intense regret/guilt is getting ever more intense.
DAY 9 GF
Whilst the thoughts of losing the amount i have are still there, they are slowly becoming less regular, maybe once every 10minutes instead of constantly !
Busy weekend planned so lots to look forward to.
It gets better.
I think I've told you before that my situation isn't dissimilar and I've tried and failed a few times. Never did i think I'd get to where I am now in terms of days gamble free.
You're doing all the right things and it looks like you've created a healthy obsession. You'll be able to accept things in time, but remember this period and how it's making you feel. That's one of my driving forces as I never want to feel that way again.
It gets better...but it takes time. Keep up the excellent work and we're all here to push you on. I even think you'll look back at some of the original tough love advice in a few months and it will resonate with you a little more. Until then, keep doing what you're doing and try to be proud of what may seem a little achievement to others, but is actually huge for us.
And....I just went back and read this whole thread. Should've done that before my contribution.
It's been a bit of a Ron Burgundy hasn't it: "That escalated quickly!"
So maybe me talking about tough love isn't quite right, but I hope you get my sentiment. I must also commend you as you've handled everything extremely well and it's clear to me that you're a highly intelligent and reflective person. Yes, people go about things in different ways, but I genuinely think everyone is trying to be supportive.
We've just got to remember that we're not the experts and if we were, we wouldn't be here!
Keep smiling, keep busy. Glance but don't stare.
And....I just went back and read this whole thread. Should've done that before my contribution.
It's been a bit of a Ron Burgundy hasn't it: "That escalated quickly!"
So maybe me talking about tough love isn't quite right, but I hope you get my sentiment. I must also commend you as you've handled everything extremely well and it's clear to me that you're a highly intelligent and reflective person. Yes, people go about things in different ways, but I genuinely think everyone is trying to be supportive.
We've just got to remember that we're not the experts and if we were, we wouldn't be here!
Keep smiling, keep busy. Glance but don't stare.
cheers bdog
Yes it did escalate quickly and things headed in a direction i simply didn't expect. But i get the motive, and i understand the driving force behind the comments. As you can see the interaction has slowed down completely on my diary thread, so how long i will be posting for i am unsure of.
DAY 12 GF - had a nice weekend with friends and family, still getting thoughts about everything gambling related although no real urge to gamble. With the US Open golf coming up this week (used to bet heavily on the golf majors) will be odd not having a bet but i will refrain from doing so.
everyone is supportive.
Me personally, I'd knock watching or following the golf on the head this weekend.
When I was gambling I watched a huge amount of sport and even if I din't have a bet, I'd be thinking "should have backed this that or the other"
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
