Chubb5000 one day at a time

Morning Chubb,

Good work on building up the gf time. re those offers, can I suggest that you send a letter or email to each site with your name, address, date of birth, account number, password etc saying that you have a problem with gambling, you want to be permanently self excluded, removed from their database and not to be contacted at any time in the future by any media. It worked for us.

Also, I was reading a few of your posts and you mentioned that a lot of your friends and family gamble and also that you didn't like GA, you found it confrontational. One suggestion for recovery is to surround yourself with like minded people, rather than be the odd one out in a group with a casino/bookies/ gambling culture.

With GA, the confrontation may have been someone more experienced telling you what you didn't want to hear at the time? Even so, there are multiple meetings in multiple locations, it should be possible to find one that suits you. The idea is that it's a group of people with a common problem seeking a common solution and helping each other along the way. It's a great tool to help, see Shep and Oldham's diaries.

Wish you well,

CW

Day 16

Cynical wife wrote:

Morning Chubb,

Good work on building up the gf time. re those offers, can I suggest that you send a letter or email to each site with your name, address, date of birth, account number, password etc saying that you have a problem with gambling, you want to be permanently self excluded, removed from their database and not to be contacted at any time in the future by any media. It worked for us.

Also, I was reading a few of your posts and you mentioned that a lot of your friends and family gamble and also that you didn't like GA, you found it confrontational. One suggestion for recovery is to surround yourself with like minded people, rather than be the odd one out in a group with a casino/bookies/ gambling culture.

With GA, the confrontation may have been someone more experienced telling you what you didn't want to hear at the time? Even so, there are multiple meetings in multiple locations, it should be possible to find one that suits you. The idea is that it's a group of people with a common problem seeking a common solution and helping each other along the way. It's a great tool to help, see Shep and Oldham's diaries.

Wish you well,

CW

Hi CW,

I've been meaning to goto GA for ages but for some reason I just can't get myself to go. I know it's silly considering the hole I've put myself in but there's a stigma around it I just can't get past. Regarding those self exclusions, I am definitely gonna get on that when I get home, pretty sick of getting weekend offers. It's hard to surround myself around different people because these are good friends of mine that I either live with or have been good friends for a long time. I am keeping myself extremely busy though so I am around a lot less people just generally.

Thanks for writing and hope things are going well for you too

Morning Chubb , like HL said there's really no stigma attached these days , so maybe just leave your options open but it's your recovery and your decision in the end , you do what feels right for you , if that doesn't work or isn't enough then look at other tools that are available , the important thing is that your not gambling so take that as a huge plus , many on here choose the support of a GA group or counciling which works for them , I however have maintained a gamble free life for the last 7 plus months with the forum and self exclusions as my only tools which has worked for me and many others . Only you know what's right for you and if it works , then great ! Just make sure you close all the doors regarding self exclusion because that's one tool you really shouldn't be without , in my opinion of course ! . Take care Chubb and take one day at a time ! Best wishes ..........Alan

Day 17

ALAN 135 wrote:

Morning Chubb , like HL said there's really no stigma attached these days , so maybe just leave your options open but it's your recovery and your decision in the end , you do what feels right for you , if that doesn't work or isn't enough then look at other tools that are available , the important thing is that your not gambling so take that as a huge plus , many on here choose the support of a GA group or counciling which works for them , I however have maintained a gamble free life for the last 7 plus months with the forum and self exclusions as my only tools which has worked for me and many others . Only you know what's right for you and if it works , then great ! Just make sure you close all the doors regarding self exclusion because that's one tool you really shouldn't be without , in my opinion of course ! . Take care Chubb and take one day at a time ! Best wishes ..........Alan

Hey Alan135 and Half Life!

Thanks for writing and the words of advice. Alan, so good to hear you've gone 7 months without gambling and purely through forum and self exclusion. How's life changed within those 7 months? I don't expect any drastic changes but just interested. I might take your option of sticking with the forum for the meanwhile as my studies and busy life in general means I'm a big time strapped for GA at the moment. When I finish my course I'll have a serious think about going in.

Reminiscing about bad times gambling...

That time on Boxing day I was meeting a bunch of my friends in the city to watch The Hobbit. Slipped into the casino for a quick punt beforehand to try to win parking, movie tickets etc. Lost a whole bunch of cash, felt miserable and went home without watching the movie. Just bailed on my friends... Sorry Friends

Day 18

Staying busy and working hard. I'm thinking less and less about money these days and somehow I have more money... In the past, if I got a parking ticket or an expensive bill or something, i'd want to gamble to try to win it, now I just pay it and forget about it and it's working out well. I feel happy

Hey Chubb , congratulations on getting to day 18 , I'd just noticed that you'd asked me how life's changed for me in the last 7 months , well my life's just about changed in every way possible , obviously from a financial point of view the fact that since last september , I've not used a credit card or borrowed money in any way shape or form and my account is in constant credit and all bills paid on time , so that just goes to show how much I'd been chucking away every day ! , the most important thing is re engaging with my family , all those I hold so dear yet had neglected for so long ,simply because I was wrapped up in my world of addiction where all I thought of was me , me, me , I now listen to them , whereas before I was never really in the room and my mind was thinking about the next bet or how I could sneak out for a crafty punt, I actually love being around them , going for long walks , talking about life and just being a family again .

I find I sleep better as well , no more laying awake with my stomach churning because of the damadge I'd done the previous day , or waking with my first thoughts being the planning of betting activities for the day ahead .

I'd just been in such a cycle for so many years , a merry go round of lies, deceit and guilt which had become the norm and for which there was no way out , well not until I came here and met with all the wonderfull people it contains , all walks of life but with one common enemy " Gambling " .

I really never want to go back there Chubb ,as its not a nice place to be , it's a place that almost caused me to lose everything and that includes my own life as it got that bad I'd contemplated it more than once , so why would anyone want to do that again ? .

I also know only too well those feelings that your reminiscing about as pretty much every Saturday evening I would go around my partners for the weekend but before I got there I'd always stop off at a bookies on route , most of the time I'd end up losing 2 or 3 hundred in the space of half an hour , because I didn't have much time the bets would always be bigger and so would the losses , I'd leave , go round hers and try and pretend I was happy and all was good but underneath all I could think of was chasing my losses on the Sunday , I feel awfull looking back because at the time she had no Idea and gtrusted me completely ! . So yeah , things are now pretty good and I'm honest to the core !

I'm glad life's improving daily for you my young friend , you owe it to yourself to enjoy life for what it has to offer you, sieze it with both hands and enjoy it as a gift to yourself !

Best wishes ........................Alan

Day 20 - Still going well, get a random urge here and there but managing to keep them at bay. Just found out Conor Mcgregor is retiring!

Day 21 - Can't believe it's been 3 weeks! Can't let my guard down so I'll continue my reminiscing/admission of times I've gambled and been a general fiend...

That time I got a huge cash amount out (an extensing of my mortgage) under the idea that I'd renovate my house and then proceeded to gamble a huge chunk of it away... Really let myself down on that one as those problems with the house are still lingering and the payments on the house are bigger than ever.... farkkkkkkkkkkkk

Day 23 - My friend asked me to goto the casino last night and I told him no. I've slowly started letting my friends know that I'm on this site and I'm trying to stop gambling. I feel like they will ask me a lot less as they can feel that I have a problem even though I won't outright tell them. Best of luck everyone on another day

Day 25 - Still going strong : ) ... Recently I've been hanging out at uni with a friend of mine I haven't seen in a long time and she told me her dad had someone fallen into massive debt and they've had to sell the family home and her parents are most likely going to split. She thinks its gambling... I went out to dinner a couple of nights ago and a friend of mine I hadn't seen in a long time told me another old friend of ours was heavily pregnant by a man that was a chronic liar. She said the man had sold off all of the pregnant woman's valuables including her mobile phone! Gambling is all around us and it's ruining lives... Another reminder that I have to stop if I don't want to become one of these people...

HI chubb , good post buddy that clearly shows how addictions affect everday life , your doing great by the way my friend on 25 days of living life !

Keep positive and your first month will soon be here !

Best wishes ............Alan

Im not sure if it is just me but does it seem that when you are gamble free you can get so much done in the day. My days off used to fly by and my head would be spinning. Now I do everything i have planned and more and then i wonder what to do with the rest of the evening.

Stay strong Chubb and don't look back.

Hey Chubb, just been reading through your diary on my way to work.

Seems like your doing a really good job mate keep it up as well as your guard. I was on day 57 until the other weekend. One small £2 bet on the national resulted in a £10 deposit. Lost that and then began chasing and we all know how that ended.

I see you thought about the free bets and the guaranteed money. A few guys I work with do this, and I have always wanted to try, but the one time I did I just spent bet the winnings. waste of my time.

Anyway keep up the good work mate and all the best.

RA

Day 26 - Thanks Alan!

Thanks kt93 - I definitely do have a lot more time now. I was telling my friend last night about how gambling takes so much time off you, especially if you're winning and you just end up going on and on and on (for months some time) until you lose. I'm keeping myself super busy though, so I'm still time strapped, but for all the right reasons. Good luck to you too!

Thanks RA - it sucks you've relapsed but it looks like all the success stories have. Hang in there. I know I'm only on day 26 so I can't speak with too much certainty and confidence but I want to share with you what I'm trying this time that is working for me (not sure about this but this is the longest I've gone for a long time without any urges at all).

Bear with me as I'm not the best with words.

I think in the past I was dissapointed with who I was at the time and gambling would make me feel like a bigger man, more exciting and funner. I know this is all bs and this time I've really got into the acceptance of what and who I am and have renounced in some way, money and trying to project a better image of myself to people than I actually am. I've been living a more honest life with a 'this is who I am, warts and all, successes and failures human being and if you like me great, if you don't, that's a shame but no bother' sort of attitude.

Surprisingly, I get a long with people better than before, life is a lot less stressful, I have more money and I feel happier then ever. Again this is just my experience but I thought you might find it of some interest. Good luck again RA and best wishes.

A very honest and open point you make there Chubb. Something I have never thought of, but certainly food for thought. In a way I can kind of relate in the terms that I would lie to people who knew how much I gambled about my winnings. I'm sure lots of people do this, but it's that feeling of being a failure which makes us lie.

I'm hoping this time I will remain GF, and go past the milestone. I read on another post 'We can't win, because we can't stop'. I will be trying to remember this when I get any urges as it sums up my habits a treat.

RA