Day One

Hi Lady H, you're so right...how the heck did I ever for gambling in!! I just sat there for hours, days adding upto to weeks!! Shocking, what a waste of life! No way am I going back to that!! Feeling good, absolutely loving my productive days and sitting down at night so tired from 100%. Effort into life, work etc. And not shattered from sleepless nights and gambling until early hours of the morning etc. This is the life I want cx

Day 60-thrilled!! 🙂

Wow...well done Charlie...you've every right to be thrilled....
Congratulations on all those days love x

Thank you loxxie! 🙂 xx

Day 62- Rather hard week, I lost a family member this week and it's been rather c**P if I'm honest! Again, I'm so gratefull for blocks in place, as feeling so down last night I wanted to gamble!'I thought, what's the point when good people get taken away? what difference does it make if I gamble tonight?! I knew I was exhausted, as head always a little messed up when I'm tired, last night nothing seemed to make any sense! I could of so easily gambled last night, but thankfully I couldn't gamble. As now after a good sleep, I know gambling wouldn't of solved a thing, but only made the whole situation worse and made me feel even more terrible! A reminder to myself that it's so easy to nearly slip, if blocks aren't in place. I'm trying my upmost best to put a face on, get on with things, but as this is my diary and I can be honest, I'm struggling to keep it together at the moment. So many plans over the next few weeks, which last week I was so looking forward to, now just don't interest me at the moment. I'm trying to enjoy life, as my family member no longer can, but struggling. Think the shock is still sinking in, as it was very unexpected. Hoping for a good sleep and to see things a little brighter tomorrow. C x

Hi Charley so sorry to hear of your loss 🙁 don't really know what to say apart from your being strong even though you've blocks in place considering your loss. I can relate to you thinking what's point so why not gamble, I've felt like that many times over the years. I really hope you start to feel better soon hun you deserve a gf life best wishes Charley Lu x

Hi Charley,

I'm so sorry to read about your loss, I've been in the same situation over the last couple of weeks, and I know how the confusion and vulnerability allow those niggling little temptations to start to whisper again. You are absolutely right, it will do no good and only lead to harm and increased stress. I wish I could tell you the answer, but I'm not sure if there is a magic bullet for this. Just keep up the good work, keep your resilience and come on here to write when those temptations start knocking at the door.

Love and thoughts to you in this difficult time,

Ryan

Hello, shocked I haven't written in here for so long...don't know where the time has gone!!! Sadly, been a rough time for the family as we had more bad news. But I'm not here to complain or whinge. Thankfully, I still realised gambling is a con and will never solve any of my problems, so on that front all is good! I'm not going to lie, I have come so very close on some days to stuff it all and gamble all my money away... You will it believe the relief I feel for not doing so!!! Could of been a very different Xmas to the one ahead! I know if I'd if caved, I wouldn't of been able to cope this Xmas knowing I've messed up another year...so thankfully I don't have to deal with theta guilt! I'm proud to say that I've got all my Xmas gifts already, with nice Xmas activities to fill in the weekends leading upto Xmas for my niece and nephew. I'm so unbelievably excited this year!!! I have been invited to parties etc and for once I can say yes and mean it, no rubbish excuse!! My homeless box plan had come together so amazingly and soooooo many people have got involved...amazing feeling to help someone less fortunate than me, just wish I could help them more. Next year, going to save a pot to one side and pay for a couple of people to stay in a B & B next Xmas eve instead of the streets, I know that won't solve their problems for the rest of the year, but least they'll be warm and have a bed Xmas eve, as I believe everyone should! Anyway, after a few pretty rubbish weeks, I'm back to me and feeling the positivity because without that I'd dread to think where id be! So sorry I've not kept up to date and on track with people over past few days, I will make it my priority to come back on tonight and catch up on some dairies. For those who are feeling positive...it's a month today until Xmas eve....eeeekkkk! For those who aren't, stay strong, speak about you feelings and I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel...even if you don't believe it right now. C x

Great to hear from you Charlie. .
Hoping things are settling down for you and yours ..
Well done on staying gamble free through tough times. ...never easy...but you done it...yeahhhh
I'm sooooo excited for Xmas....first time in years.....
The pleasure in it all is amazing...
Keep pushing my love....
Stuff the slots....we don't need them hun. ....we've got a real life ....let's enjoy it xx

I'll drink to that Charlie...
75 days....lovely solid number Charlie....kick on girlie x

Day 79- one more day to 80 days! Eeeekkkk!!! Again, not listed as much as I wanted, just so busy...how on earth did I find time to gamble hours and hours away!! Sleeping is great these days, most nights get a good sleep, which is such a reward and sets me up for the day ahead. When I didn't get any sleep, due to gambling until the early hours or stress, worry I've lost £100s in the space of half an hour etc I couldn't focus, couldn't/didn't believe it was possible to feel good again! Thankfully I can see the good in the world again, it was always there, it's me that wasn't. Looking forward to a great Xmas with friends and family...to which I I'm so grateful for, as I know some people doubt have that luxury! Well it's Monday morning and I'm ready for the week ahead, let's go and smash another week! Sending congrats to those who have managed another day gf and belief to those who haven't...I can tell you, this feeling is 1000 better than any bet or slot machine!! Happy Monday. Cx

Nice to see you're still fighting him off. Well done u xx

Happy 2017 to everyone!! So sorry again, that I've not been on for a while. I've been that busy trying to make up for all the lost time, cancelled date with friends and family etc. I can honestly with my hand on my heart say I've had the best Christmas in a long time!! The fact that I have paid a lot of debt down and have money in the bank is absolutely part of it! But for me, I realised even though I did buy family and friends gifts this Xmas...and not rubbish, last minute, not thought about gift, but gifts from the heart made me feel good, but also the fact that I was actually there with them...in mind not just body. Over the past few years, I've been that focussed on my selfish self, all I could think about over Xmas was gambling! I missed out on so many family memories because I may have been there physically, but mentally I was far away and that upsets me. However, I can't change the past (as much as many of us want to) The homeless boxes and children's boxes I did over Xmas made me feel great, to give a little back. Something I'm 100% going to focus on this yet, to give a little back the best I can, when I can. The simpilest things in life, really cost nothing. I went for a walk with my friend yesterday and we spoke about the future, dreams and goals, holidays, how lucky we are...this time last year, a simple conversation like that would of been impossible...1) I wouldn't of gone on the walk, as id of considered that 'precious gambling time' to the point where I'd think, if I wasn't gambling I wouldn't win. 2) if I did go, I wouldn't of been there in mind and barely contributed to the conversation due having such a messed up head 3) a future without gambling?!! It seemed impossible then! 4) Holidays, dream, goals how was I ever going to afford them, I never had any money and what money I did have went in the bank one min, out the next with zero to show for it! Something so little as a walk made me realise this is my time now, I've got a chance to make life life, as I wasn't living...far from it! I was existing it my own evil, vile, selfish world, which I created myself! I have a started a holiday fund, I only have £70 in it at the moment, but this time last year no chance would that £70 of lasted a day let alone the 3 weeks I've had it set aside! I am very well aware that yes this is a good day, in fact it's a fantastic day...the sun is shining, I'm breathing, I've got friends and family, a job, a house and a chance to make life worth living again! But I'm also aware, that this awful, dreaded niggle will most probably always be at the back of my mind, the niggle of gambling! I just have to be strong enough to want better for myself, my family and my friends and continue to fight it off because I can tell you from the bottom of my heart...this is the life I want right now, not the life I had last year. The life of constant emails, text messages where to are reminded the loan company will be taking basically all of your wage this month, the you'll have to take another loan out to cover you, but too gamble it thinking you'll win enough for the month and the loan, but we all know how that works...it doesn't, sadly, be cause we are never happy with the amount we win and never will be. For all those who are new to the site, I apologise for not coming on here enough and not being with you on this journey. However, I'm here and will continue to be here for you and myself. Take Care all and make this your year. We are here once, make the memories the rights ones. The past is the past, only we can make our future. Much love C x

Hey Charlie..great update...so pleased your marching on..
Totally get everything you wrote. .
Well done you....
Sounding so chirpey as well...yahhhh xxx

Hi Charley,

I'm currently on day 5 at the moment and am in a slightly different position to you. I have a credit card but not through gambling, I don't have savings but I don't have debts either (money I owe family but nothing major).

You really are an inspiration. To be in a bad place in September last year to being so positive now, I will definitely keep up with your story.

Thank you.

L x