Hi all,
Another attempt at a successful Recovery Diary. The 9th this time. I am going to update this Diary more often this time and remember to regularly visit the Chat rooms every week.
Day 1
Another night I am not sleeping as a result of my gambling addiction. I would be disappointed in myself if I was able to sleep after the few days I have had. I have got over these days too quickly in the past.
I got complacent in the past and I do not intent to forget all my techniques to support my gambling free period this time.
Set rewards for abstaining from gambling
I have given myself increasingly bigger rewards for abstaining from gambling in the past and that helped me feel a bit better with the added benefit that I would not make regular purchases when I did nothing to deserve them. Finances got a bit small as a result.
This will be me tomorrow I managed to day 3 and I've buggered it all up had to pay some of my debt today and now I can't going to loose him forever it's amazing how a few hours change everything 🙁 really wish you good luck ...
Sorry to hear that Nannai. Be sure to make a change this time round. Only way to improve.
Day 2
Filled in online counselling form. I will get assesed in a couple of weeks.
Day 4
Need to control the spending. Wanting to buy things feed my gambling urges. I need my CC to get me through this month. I will not use my CC next month. I might reward myself with a nice meal but no medium to large purchases.
Hi D
I'm fresh into my lastest recovery. You say it's your 9th diary. I've forgotten how many time I've promised myself it would be the last time. It's hard not to get complacent. It hard not to drift away from the forum. But it's harder to put ourselves through the sleepless, self-loathing again and again. Set small targets to start with. try not to spend too much time by yourself, put blocks in place and keep posting. I wish you all the best in your recovery.
Thanks Westsider. I appreciate any comments. Good to know there are others in the same situation.
Day 9
Feeling down. Worrying about something that might not even happen. A bet will not put me in a good mood. I always lose and will only feel depressed and stressed for the rest of the month.
You have the answer to your ?. you know how the story ends..Choose a different happier ending
Julie x
Keep going mate!
Day 14
Oh it happened and it was way worse than I thought. Unexpectedly, I am being made redundant. If I accept I will get a lump sum to tide me over till I get a job. Its going to be fun not overspending the amount.
Day 16
Took part in my first online group counselling session yesterday.
I feel a bit more positive about things. I will try focus on making small improvements each week.
I have been concentrating on being gamble free thinking thats my only problem. I have lots of other problems that are effected by my gambling.
Read through an old Diary where I kept a running total of my debts. I was doing well for a bit but I am about 9K more in debt than I was back then. Not good. Starting again.
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I need to think smaller. Set small goals for each day and achieve them. Stop dwelling on long term problems.
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