Degenerate IX

A few things I forgot.

While gambling

When I won, I thought I might as well pop into the post office with lots of pounds to change into euros for my holiday. I was offered about 10 euros short of what I could have got from an online travel money provider. I walked out post office as that would not be a good financial decision, I then walked into a bookies. Lost all the money. Stupid.

In order to chase money later in the night I managed to find an online account that appeared to still be active. However, there was a problem with payment and I had to phone Support. Turned out when you turn off account for a certain period like I did you have to answer a bunch of questions related to gambling. I acted all surprised when I got asked a bunch of questions like "Do you gamble longer than intended", "Do you gamble with money you dont have", "Do you lie about your gambling", etc. I am sure we all know the kind of questions. I answered "No" to all of them. I felt crappy afterwards. When I logged into the account again I did not have the ability to gamble just the ability to cancel the "re-activation" process. I did. I still gambled the next day.

I had a girl I see regularly in my gym come up and speak to me today. "Did you get any winners today?". I am now fairly sure she works in the bookmakers near the gym. I guess my mind was too occupied to notice when I was gambling.

@PositiveAction 🙂 I like the Rocky quote. I agree. I was not committed enough to stop gambling forever. I need to be totally uninterested in watching horse racing. I am still reeling from the 5 days gambling. I cannot believe I was so out of control so quickly. I had plenty warnings. I knew I should have stopped when up or while loss was minimal. I am addicted to losing all my money. I hope I have another full year of no gambling too. Thanks.

@Stephen

Yes, I am feeling very sad, lonely and pathetic. I feel it was just a bump in the road though. Taking the loss on the chin and getting back to recovery. I choose to restart the gamble free journey. Thanks Stephen.

Hi degen just a post to say I hope ur alright, I managed 114 days then relapsed it happens. Just think all that time not gambling for that year is worth something u have the knowledge and experience to do it again.

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Thanks mate, I appreciate the thought. I have not gambled for a couple of weeks. I have not visited Gamcare for a bit as I didnt want to remind myself of my gamling problem. Been keeping really busy. Just very disappointed in myself. I feel I have started again and another gamble free period has begun.

Been making excuses to myself for a few weeks to not sign up for self exclusion but I finally ran out of excuses today and gave them a call. Unfortuantely, I have been on hold with them for 16 minutes and nobody is picking up.