I had my first bet aged 11.a tanner each way on a horse that came 4th.my dad used to put them on for me.later backed 2 winners.then started work and it was bandits.got worse when I started work which involved money
Sadly staff canteen had bandit.then later discovered casinos and online gambling. Got made redundant took lump sums for that and pension must have blew £15000.feel sick dare not tell wife.Day one is today I guess. Have contemplated doing away with my self
Day 2 still alive and not gambling.not saying I haven't contemplated doing away with myself...
& what would that solve?
As you will sadly hear often on this site 'this is a permanent solution to a temporary problem'. Feels like the end of the world but please make use of everything on offer here be it counselling, GA, this diary, anything is worth a try as different things help different people as we are all as unique as our gambling stories and experiences.
You are not alone.
xxx
What would it solve ...well mortgage would be paid. Unfortunately have suffered with depression ...not initially because of gambling for long while.so suicidal thoughts are not new
I M in s lottery syndicate but its only a pound a week which is nothing compared to £250 a day on casino
Day 3 no gambling
Day 3 no gambling
If you read the diaries you will notice that many of us suffer with low level depression and are 'functioning depressives' as SA calls it. I think this means that we search out ways to cope and distract us from feelings and gambling has offered that escape to may of us with the sad outcome that we end up here trying to undo the damage and remedy the consequences.
It is a good place to vent about how you are feeling on the bad days or just note how well you are doing on the good days and know that others will understand and not judge you.
Can I suggest you read Duncs diary as you will see immediately that he came from exactly the low suicidal place you feel you are and is now in recovery. He has many helpful suggestions and will always respond if you send him a note on his diary.
Sending strength, you are doing well.
xxx
I am pretty low although still have house guess others have been worse
I have been in dark places before with depression for other reasons.....constant headaches"...lurching towards alcohol...looking forward to sleep..not looking forward to wake up
Hello favdoc.
A warm welcome to these diarys. Lots of peeps about who have also experienced the despairs your feeling at the moment.
Face up and front the dark thoughts, that's all they are bud..
Read and post..
Strength and honor to you
Ta. But thoughts still there and headaches and nervous....maybe voluntary or involuntary. Twitching of head
Trouble is even if I don't gamble this will not help financial position......or possible marital one
Can't really see solution
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