Feeling hopeless!

Day 23, was a bit stressed yesterday, found I had a few faults on my car that need fixing so started worrying about money again and thinking about gambling, but instead I decided to do a car boot sale, packed up a load of old clutter got up nice and early and actually enjoyed making money and getting rid of clutter at the same time. Didn't make alot but enough to cover what I need doing, so back to feeling happy knowing I can drop the car off at garage when I finish work tomorrow without getting another loan! Finally finding ways to solve my financial problems instead of adding to them.

Day 29 still gf and doing well mostly but still keep having moments were I really want to gamble, luckily they don't last long but leave me feeling quite low. Feeling really down tonight, was thinking of looking to see if I could find any new sites im not banned from but came on here instead. Going to get an early night, got an early start at work in morning, sure I'll be fine by tomorrow!

Glad you're doing well, keep it up 🙂 Just remember that feeling of misery when you're wondering why can't it just go right one time as whatever amount of money is now out the window.

I hope I don't keep letting it steer my life...

Thanks for your reply. I'm feeling a bit better today. Just thinking that since stopping gambling I've tried to fill my time with more important things, that are less destructive, but it does leave a void that nothing else can really fill, them highs and lows and every other feeling inbetween, not that I really want them feelings back just wish I could find something else to feel excited about. Maybe it's just normal and once my brain gets back to normal I'll stop craving some sort of excitement, and be content with normal happiness.

Day 92, the last 3 months have been going great, hardly thought about gambling at all. I've been enjoying my life spending free time with family and friends had spare money for days out and even booked to a holiday to Disney land and have been saving as much as I could for spending money. Today while my daughter was at ballet I quickly nipped into town to get her some new shoes and when passing the bingo hall all of them old feelings came rushing back, 'i havnt really got that much saved, mybe I could just try and win a little bit extra' before I knew it I was late picking her up with no shoes that id promised her and an almost empty bank account (only reason it wasn't completely emty because I didn't have time) the whole day I've been fighting the urge to go back, I'm once again close to tears, we go next Sunday and I don't know what am going to do, another loan I suppose. I wish od kept my guard up and stayed on here, I was planning coming back on when id got over 100 days to give myself some praise for doing well but guess that won't be happening now! Feel absolutely sick, don't think I've got it in me to stop doing this, how is it possible to never learn!

Hello The fun has stopped,

Well done for talking about the lapse.

One way to bolster your recovery now, might be to reflect on the lapse with a view to identify what blocks could reduce the risk of a further lapses, so for example would it help to self-exclude from the bingo hall, or to reduce your access to money by allowing your husband to look after your finances for a while.

As well as using the forum, if you like you could also consider what additional support might suit you, for example some of our forum members attend GA meetings regularly as a way to take care of their recovery, and some use GamCare's local or online therapy appointment services.

Please feel welcome to call us on 0808 8020 133 if you'd like additional information or support.

Take care,

Forum admin.

Thanks, I thought about excluding from the bingo hall but when I went in yesterday I was there almost an hour and No one who worked there even noticed me, it's a big place. I was just thinking of leaving all savings from now on with my mam, avoiding town as much as possible when I'm alone and if I have to only taking the exact money I'll need. It's really hard, I felt like giving up yesterday and just excepting that I will never be able to stop, but I'll keep trying because I can't bare the feeling after losing control like that, not to mention the money, it's heart breaking.