...

Yeah guess It's always better to travel in packs when it comes to bars. Guess I haven't ventured out to one in quite sometime and sure things has changed there too. A very mixed culture going on here in the states and with that comes a variety of different gangs and such. So yeah stick with a pack girl.

Weather suppose to almost hit 80 here. Guess we go more by Fahrenheit degrees and yeah that mean fairly warm. LOL so yeah getting that air conditioner in the window a must do. I'll be working on that today, along with them other odd and ends. Spent a good part of the day yesterday here sleeping and watching house of cards in-between snoozing. Thing with watching shows on netflix there is no commercials and only ask like 3 shows later if your still watching. LOL so yeah I missed a show.

Woke up like 4 in the morning and yeah thought screw it I'm up for the day. LOL Yeah working on that first cup of Joe. Neighbors on the other side of the duplex asked me a while back what hours I slept so they could kinda work around me with the lawn mowing and such. Told em I keep no regular schedule really other than a work schedule so yeah ya can kinda go by that. LOL sleep when i can and move around at will I guess. Yup that's the life of this 3rd shifter LOL

Probably hit the grocery store a little later. Yeah planning on doing up them burgers and brats today and yeah they just wouldn't taste the same without buns I guess. LOL guess I'll have to pick up some chocolate chip cookies from the bakery there too. Told the little 4 year old girl on the other side of the duplex I'd baker her some next time I went shopping. Yeah ain't feeling quite that ambitious so gonna do the next best thing. LOL Lol Lol

Well hope your healing over just fine and the rest of your time off much better.

Oh P.s. did talk to my boy yesterday and yeah he said he's on a 3 day trail for this unit and yeah if he fricks it up he's back to where he came from. Sure hope he don't fu-ck it up.

Hey wee pal

Hope you're having a fab weekend! Hopefully, everything's going according to plan for you- keep me updated.

take care

Irene

x

Awe Frick girl you know the routine. LOL Lol Lol think I'm loosing it.

Awe sh-it girl I couldn't get out of this place quick enough. LOL Hell after listening to all that in my back yard and yeah their windows be open and hearing it all. LOL fu-ck went to front part of the house where the air-conditioner was going. Hell don't she come out there for a smoke and start ragging on the place she lives in and the neighborhood. Hell it ain't no land of the rich here but ain't no ghetto either. Fu-ck who is she to say what she wants in her stinken life when my tax dollar be buying her whole life for her. Ya no income and never had one just adds up to looser in my book. LOL Hell next time i see her boyfriend/ husband gonna tell him he needs to grow a pair and get him and that 4 year old out of that house. Cause Yup as far as she's concerned the sun rises and falls around her. LOL Yeah i got that 4 year old a cookie a king size butterfly cookie with tons of fronting on it none the less. Cause yeah I'm sure in that kids mind that's just what she'd wanna be and just float away from all that if she could.

Hell when i got home their car was gone and thought I'm getting my grilling in while their out. LOL Yup did up a spoon steak, brats and hamburgers. Dam made one tasty burger too I did. Had a avacado in the f**g and thought why not. LOL Yup add to that some cheese, ketchup, mustard and pickled onions. Yup toss it all on a toasted whole wheat hamburger bun and I had me a little bit of heaven. LOL Good stuff girl gotta try it.

No that boy only has one pair of sandles coming at him with my name on it. Lol When i couldn't get that shopping cart to surrender the goods I left it sitting as is. Can't delete that cr_ap for the life of me and will be sitting with that $103 total for eternity I guess. LOL only the phone call order went through after repeating and repeating the same info only to get it wrong. Yeah I'm done with east bay and I'm sure ***** with all the weird looking shoppers would of got that order right. LOL Lol Lol

Yeah no casino and no neighbors for the moment. Got a cold one in hand and just don't get no better than that. LOL Lol Lol

Sandra.... you hit the 100 mark!!! Whoooo hooooo! I am proud of YOU! You just keep that up.... it'll be a year before you know it.

Just woke up and yeah one dreary Monday. Heavy duty rain falling now and kinda typical for memorial day Monday. Suits me fine cause i won't have to water them flowers today anyway. LOL working on that first cup of Joe and thinking it will take a few more before there will be any real movement from me. LOL

The crazy birds as you call them. LOL quite fitting really didn't return till late last night so didn't hear any more of that singing. LOL didn't get a chance to give that butterfly cookie to the 4 year old either but yeah one of them will be out puffing one the porch sooner or later so yeah she'll get it.

My boy called last night and thinks he can retrieve them sandles after all. Said he explained it all to someone there so their on the look out for it. He also told me that yeah he only can order from certain vendors on certain units and east bay is the only he can order from for now. LOL Lol Lol Hell asked if they had a family unit where he's at cause I might be joining him for a stay should I have to deal with them again. LOL Lol Lol yeah looks like I have no choice but to get them trainers threw them and not looking forward to that one.

Guess not a whole lot planned for the day and probably spend most of it watching tv. Weather sure ain't cooperating for any outside activities.

Hope that 13 hour shift went easier than thought.

Hope you are recovering ok, sounded real scary and just what you don't need when you are in such a good place demon wise. Loving the way you spring back each time the s**t is shovelled your way, you have so much strength of character where others would just give up and say 'poor me'.

I must be one of the few that don't mind the rain but we were so lucky to get the sunshine for my son's 'do' last weekend as made so much difference but know you like to run so hope the sun comes back real soon.

xxx

LOL no actually the cost of the stuff sent to my boy is like a little over $90 now i think. So yeah since what he wanted originally wasn't in stock at least he got something out the mess. And yeah one more dealing for sure with east bay for them shoes and I'm done with the place. LOL

Rain has past and Sun out and birds chirping. And no not the screaming COO-COO next door. LOL Lol Lol yeah did pass that cookie on to her dad so thinking she got it anyway.

Hell didn't get at much of anything since I tapped ya last. Played a few games online and no not the gambling ones either. Lol guess I'm off to the shower in a bit here and who knows what's to follow. Not sure what's open today since It's a holiday but may go get some weed killer for my flower bed. Kinda slows down the growth of them flowers but yeah whole lot less weeds to pick. LOL

Hope that night goes smoothly for ya.

Hi Sandra... and well done on your year plus gambling free. I relate to what you say about still having thoughts lurking ie... ive done "x" amount of time gamble free so lets celebrate with a cheeky session on the slots...."it will be different this time!"... not!!

Ive been and done this before, after many months off it, I gamble again and then I realise that it never is different, its "always" exactly the same as when my gambling was every day and all consuming.. I lose all my available funds.

Keep working at it one day at a time.. as I do the same. Take care... S.A 🙂

Morning Sandra

By my reckoning just off a night so hope it went as well as it possibly could , again I'm just off soon to work today is my day of reckoning so will keep you posted on that soon , then when I finish you start !

Have a good day and as always thank you for your continued support

Castle2

Oh quiting of the smoky treats maybe last 4 months and it was a slow decent back. LOL yeah right now probably smoking just as much as I was. Gained like 20 pounds trying to quit them things. Lost most of that weight I think but yeah quiting the things definitely does something to the metabolism. LOL

Oh that screaming COO-COO was at her best again with the rants. Boy she was out on the front porch talking fairly civil to what I thought was her mom on the phone. Yeah said the only thing her daughter had to eat all day was that cookie I gave and yeah like 2 in the afternoon. Well Hell all Hell broke loose once she got off that phone and she was just a screaming when she went back inside. Yeah all that swearing must of lasted a good 20 minutes or more. Could hear her in the back yard and yeah went to my freezer and grabbed a package of chicken breast and another package legs. Went out side to give them to her and said excuse me and Yup she went inside. LOL Hell her mom picked her up a little later and yeah seen him out side with the 4 year old. Yup back to the freezer and packed up that chicken again along with some breakfast sausage, ham steak and a spoon roast. Wasn't done yet and went to the cupboard and tossed in a couple jars of spaghetti sauce, a box of spaghetti, 3 boxes of rice a roni and a can of diced tomatoes, since one of them boxes of rice was Spanish rice and called for a can. LOL yeah brought it to him and he happily excepted it.

Yeah she comes home from that trip with her mom and you guessed it she's got a bag of grocery's. LOL Hell by this time it was really hot out side and humid from all the rain. Hit like 87 here yesterday so yeah windows shut and air-conditioning on. That was sweet cause I can't hear a word of what's being said next-door with that thing running. LOL Lol Lol Yup wasnt but a half hour later he comes knocking on my door with basically all the meat I gave him short of the breakfast sausage saying they didn't have room in the freezer. LOL Lol Lol yeah I know what she brought home in that one little bag wasnt filling no freezer but whatever. So far they kept the spaghetti and stuff but maybe she hasn't found it yet either. LOL Yup guess I really don't care if them 2 adults eat over there and what i gave was meant for the kid. But can't say all that to them. LOL

Yeah i stayed locked in this place to whole day with that air conditioner roaring and watching tv. Think It's gonna be on non stop this summer. LOL

LOL well I woke up like 3 this morning, turned off that air conditioner and open up some widows. Yeah i like that fresh air coming in and figured the singing next door was done for the night. LOL guess interfering with social services ain't really a thought. The women knows she's got a problem and is seeking counciling so yeah just hope it starts working sooner than later. LOL

So ya got a bit of a raise and didn't notice. LOL Yeah got plenty of those kind myself. But Hell it all helps. Can't say it keeps up with the cost of living and took more hits to my pay check in the last few years that yeah it will take years to recover it back. LOL but oh well such is life and guess I won't complain. Hell jobs are hard to come by these days and just happy I got one. LOL

I got a few more hours of sleep in after I tapped ya last. Just brewing up that second cup of Joe and pretty much up for the day. Gonna try to nod out for a hour or 2 before I go in but yeah usually don't happen. LOL least you got your night in. 4 night work week so yeah can handle all that and weekend is closer as we speak.

Hope ya catch a few more hours of sleep before ya go in cause did all that on 3 hours and a rough one it is. LOL hope your night and day is good to ya.

Oops did it again but pretty short and sweet that I'll respeat it again here. LOL boy what a a-ss to even bring up a raise if everyone ain't getting one. Where I'm at everyone gets a raise at the same time and no favoritism.

LOL Yeah that could be fun to bring up again now couldn't it. LOL Lol Lol teach him to go spouting off at the mouth.

Hell girl couldn't believe it but yeah that check from my boy made a appearance today. LOL he said it was sent out on the 16th but the date on the check said the 23rd. Don't know what's up with that but called him and told him he's still got a $10 credit and to pick something else out about for $50 and I'll place that order too when I order them shoes. Hell kinda reminds me I was suppose to call him back. Talk to ya soon.

Thank you all so much for continued support.

Diary,

Thought I will leave a little update about my journey so far. So A year and a week without self destruction playing a part in my life. One little slip on a way...Not easy road and a long way to get to the place where I want to be. Not really sure what it is yet, but not where I am now lol.

Recent month has been really challenging, some past few weeks events could of easily spiral my mind into online gambling hell.. but it didn't .urges are there, I'm not gonna lie, do think of this habit now and again. But by now I learned my lessons, I have grown this thick protection coat and dealing with them in decent manner - I let my enemy to stay close by..I want it close by in a way because then I can look beast in the eye and expect it to jump. Always prepared and ready for this good fight

I know I will never be cured and I accept that. The choice is mine to make, life is hard or just bearable - I am not turning back.

May long it continue. Stay safe and have a peaceful gamble free day all.

S x