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Hi S

You have done it before YOU can do it again

Believe in yourself, be kind to yourself

and slowly but surely keep moving forwards

Sending you positive and determined thoughts

Take care

Suzanne xx

Thanx S...proud of you girl

Hi Sandra,

The last slip may have seen you slide a little bit down this mountain we are climbing, but you are a lot closer to the top than when we started. You know the problem with mountains though....they get steeper as you go up. I know you can fight your way back through this, you know exactly what you need to do, and I share the faith with you, and am glad I can walk this path with someone as kind, good and sharing as you.

I know its not funny when the money for food is so tight, but I remember I was very good at making a pack of Tesco Cornflakes (30-40p), Tesco Value Bread (60p) Tesco Value Mild Cheddar (1.50-2.00) and Tesco Value Penne (50-60p) last a week. I did steal a few sauces and condiments from my housemates at the time, but its amazing how we as humans manage to survive, I know you'll get through.

Thoughts with you in this tough time.

Ryan x

Hey Sandra x x

Sorry I've not been around much lately. I have every faith that you can overcome this, and continue to be strong in your recovery.

Thank you for your lovely post of support on my diary - you certainly didn't say anything wrong at all! Just love and support from the heart, and I am very thankful.

Sometimes there is nothing anyone can say. Some situations are just sheet, lol, end of!

I will survive, I'm starting to think I would survive a nuclear holocaust the things I've managed to bounce back from over the years 😉

Believe in yourself x x

Hey Ryan and Freda, thanx for your touching words 🙂 Ryan, i will hunt something down if really struggle food wise lol..for now I'm surviving 🙂

Dear diary,

Day 8. Actually im glad i deleted my last entry yesterday cause had a right rant going on. Don't know why but anger just surfaced and thought i will do something silly like smashing the house up..hell, plates and glasses still intact so the wave been surfed lol...no damage done.

not much to report but so much going on. Mainly at work. Some changes and restructuring might see me wanting to challenge myself again...not sure if want it all..but have to wait and see .

Very tired to be honest so maybe come back wiv more words later. Still believing..have no other choice than to keep on the top of this fight. ..just gotta do it this time, do it for good.

stay safe all

S x

Hiya Sandra

Good to see you back on your feet and still fighting with everything you have , the inspiration it gives others is a valuable learning , the message been never give up no matter what

Likewise with work we both know the pressures it brings and how it controls so much of our life , life will get better I assure you

One day at a time

Castle2

Hi S

You have supported me from day 1 and I am going to give you some strong support now

You are a very strong person so it's not just believing it's willpower and determination you know that because you have done it been there Nd for so long

You must be honest with yourself now WHY do you keep getting sucked in only you know the answer

Do you still like gambling I can't believe that

Are you weak I certainly don't believe that

Have you got money to throw away

I don't think you have anymore

Do you want to totally self destruct

I don't believe that either

You have to ask yourself why why you are now doing this

Only you have the answer and only you can change the way you are feeling

Your posts are coming across negative hAlf heartily

Why

You gave me so much strength I wNt to give it back

Because this is not the Sandra who posted to me on day one

Remember I said you were the first person I thought of when I came on here well you still are

Real life is having a life where no gambling has any part in it

I know you want a real life go for it again you have the support of everyone on here that is aiming for that goal a life of sanity happiness and health

Unconditional support to you

Suzanne xx

Hey thanx castle and Suzanne. ..

Well, Suzanne not sure how to respond to your post lol. Hmmm..happy clappy recovery? I felt like it last year. I suppose we are changing every day and sorry my posts comes across negative but it is the battle i have with myself on a daily bases. I cannot promise i can be all happy again, it is not the point.

I prioritise living with myself every day. That is good enough for me. Live is a positive and that's what i do.

Finding the answers why i keep doing it and heading bk to gambling is work in progress. I might know the answer already.

I might share it one day.

Sorry for negativity but good bad and the ugly coming out sometimes gives positive results going forward.

No gambling today

Take care all and keep making the right choice...you can get what you want so never stop believing

S x

Hi Sister,

I think I know where you are coming from. If I don't and wander way off the mark you can tell me. I can hear it.

I agree that a day doesn't have to be good or bad. It could be just a day. Getting through the hours some days IS enough. -joanxxxxxx

Holding hands across the ether, there for you lovely lady.

xxx

Thank you my friends xx

Dear diary,

Day 10.No gambling to report. Few stressful events about to happen this week. Trying to take it as it comes but in my mind i always prepare for the worst case scenario. Crazy or what lol. Just need to have more patience..and see what future brings.

Have a safe Sunday all

S x

Hi Sandra,

Don't feel bad about letting out the negativity on the forum Sandra, it is better to get it out than to let it fester inside, that will only lead to it getting worse.

Stressful events in the past would be those that would have driven me to gambling, stay strong, and make sure you are prepared so they don't send you back to the horrible feelings gambling brings.

Keep your guard up, keep punching, and you'll get through whatever this week has to throw at you.

Ryan x

Thanx Ryan 🙂

Nico & Vinz - Am I Wrong [Official Music Video]: http://youtu.be/bg1sT4ILG0w

Hi S

Thanks for your supportive message which I have taken on board (it's as though you could read between my lines lol)

It's sometimes a hard journey we are travelling on

Highs and lows, good days, bad days, that's why I call it a rollercoaster ride

I like what you said about everyone of us is on our own special journey that is unique to us and you are so right

You are doing great keeping on keeping on

Keep your guard well up and tightly secured and stay safe

Take Suzanne xx

Thanx Suzanne

Dear diary,

2 weeks today and somehow weight is not getting off my shoulders. Many thoughts of that quick fix today. I hate to push my life forward to get to that pay day of the month. How pathetic not being able to afford simple cinema ticket...a bloody tenner for some relaxing time...lol..all i can do is laugh at my stupidity few weeks ago.

Life goes on eh...life goes on 🙂

Hope all my lovely soldiers doing well..feel like logging into alien site these days...sad to see so many people struggling. .but glad to see them reaching for help.

We can do it...oh yea..we can. Got it in ourselves, it's only the matter of how much we want to better our lives...let alone our loved ones lives..they should be prioritised for sure.

Take care all

S x