...

.

Allow yourself the rage when it comes. It will leave once felt and expressed.

There may be a lot of it. I'm so sorry the feelings are so intense. Be compassionate toward yourself, S. The rage belongs to the young, you. You the child, who feels fury about what she has experienced. Understandably so.

Deep breaths. Hope four-legged friend is feeling better, too.

f x

(((S)))

Freda always has such great advice for you... listen to her.

Use every single piece of help/support you can... therapy/GA/AA/Sponsor/forums/gamcare. Your addiction is a symptom but also a very manipulative and persuasive enemy. You need as much support as you can get to help make your way through and safely to the other side.

Keep moving forward dear S.

Peace & Love

Cathy

.

.

.

.

.

.

Hope the painkillers help you both get some sleep tonight!

I know what you mean about parents who struggle to cope, having kids. It's hard as they cannot make you feel safe. You don't get your emotional needs met. You learn right from day one that life is a struggle. I truly believe you carry that with you in life, if things were a real struggle for parents to cope.

This is the reason I haven't had children. I don't want to pass the struggle on to another generation.

I'm not surprised you were tempted to buy a scratchcard. A lot of stress and pressure in your world at present. Your gambling demon wants you to escape it.

What is it that's happening in 9 days? I think I missed something 🙂

Keep talking and dealing with the feelings. So proud of you. You really are going through a lot and it's very brave.

I know you have a different outlook to mine on work ethic but is it adding extra pressure to be trying to go upwards in your career and get promoted? I think if this is something you want, you should definitely do it - but do you have to do it NOW? Dealing with the emotions from counselling must be hard enough. Can you be kind to yourself and say "I have enough to struggle with for now" "I won't take any more on, until I am feeling better, emotionally."

Just a thought! Don't make things harder than they have to be. That's when overwhelm and gambling happen.

f x

.

.

Great observation, S!

Yes, when you are dealing with deep-seated traumas you are not in a good place to get close to someone. That's OK, though!

I think processing some of these emotions may make it easier for you to get close to people in the future, don't you think?

Have a great day. You're smashing it!

f x

.

Know what you mean about going into an overdraft, I'm 1500 into mine and after 44 days my situation isn't improving much either but it will for both of us so be patient and keep abstaining, you are doing well

Wilsy