Going to keep this thread now!

A belated happy birthday!! ... erm.. thats it really.. no convoluted waffle from me today.. onwards.. S.A 🙂

Hiya Freda ...hippy happy birthday tooo...belated one....xxx....a little ram or a little bull?..i can never remember the dates on that....

Thank you for popping in lovely lady....was a week of near slip but back on track..just got way too maudlin...think its me glands.!!..

Had a laugh with a pal the other day on Maggie...what ever our political views ..it is true to say we had a menopausal woman running the country...lol...explains a lot.

So....onwards we go and hoping you have some more belated wishes and pressies coming your way...

take care hun xxx

Rach and Doo xxxx

Hi Freda,

Happy Birthday hunny.

Hope that wonderful hubby of yours spoiled you rotten.

Thankyou for the post hun not killing myself over smoking just trying to go as long as i can without one then the next time even longer,only having one or two a day.

Stay Strong.

E xx

Hello lovely Freda 🙂

So sorry I missed your birthday...been offline for a while..just want to wish you a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🙂

Thanks for the message re buddhism. Something I have always been interested in... You brought back a very happy memory for me.. I got the opportunity to be in a audience with the Dalai Lama...I think it was probably about conflict resolution then ..(visiting northern ireland yep probably) but I can't remember too much as I was too busy pinching myself lol. Anyway just shows you what you can forget and that my troubles have overshadowed alot. It aint all doom and gloom thank f**k 🙂

Big Hugs and hope life is getting better and better for ya.

love Del x

Thanks Del,

Well still off the gambling 42+ weeks now.

As usual these days, I only seem to need to gravitate toward my diary when I need a rant.

I am just fed up. For the last year or so, I have been struggling to cope with my anxiety. Sometimes I have a few good weeks where it is not a problem, but basically I cannot cope with work family and socialising. All of these are stressful for me when I am anxious, and it takes a very long time to get myself back to the point where I can cope with everything.

It is a very long, hard, upward struggle, and after having a bad week last week, was enjoying having a better week this week. If I could just get 4 - 6 f*****g weeks on the trot where there is nothing to worry about do you know what I mean?

When I am struggling with my anxiety, small things are very difficult. I was just starting to feel a bit better when a letter lands on my mat today asking me to go in to the office for a sickness performance review. On Monday.

I just don't f*****g well need it! I am pretty sure they are not narked with me and are just following procedure - but guess what? I find it very anxiety provoking to have to go and sit with hr and my managers and convince them I am fine and have just needed time to get over a bad patch. Because what is the worst thing you can do if that is the case? correct - have a panic attack or burst into floods of tears.

I understand that it is just one of those things, unavoidable and I have to just suck it up and get through it as best I can. But I could just bloody well do without it, so I am upset, frustrated and P*ssed off.

As I have been writing this, I have been having a good old cry, and that is brilliant, because that is exactly what I needed to get the frustration out.

Thank you for listening.

Hi Freda

It was good to 'meet' you in chat the other day. I've had a quick read through your diary and you've had a lot of ups and downs so a big well done on going 42+ weeks without gambling.

I'm sorry to see you're not well at the moment and hope all goes well at your meeting.

It's good that you managed to have a cry so that you can at least let go of some of those feelings.

Hope you feel better soon. Take care

Hi Freda, thank u so much for your kind words and support on my diary 🙂 I just wanted 2 say that I think u r a real inspiration, u have ur ups and downs and still u face them head on and u do not resort 2 gambling. U should be really proud of urself.. also I think u r one of the kindest ppl that I have spoke to and anyone who doesn't appreciate u 4 who u r. It's there loss!! I hope ur meeting goes well Freda, try not to worry! I think u r actually stronger than u realise.. take care 🙂 xx

want to saay something...cant find the words..did a long ramble...will be back xx

Ah thank you girls : )

I am feeling much, much better. Have had 2 fairly calm and confident days at work, and feel much more able to cope with Monday.

It wasn't the meeting as such, it was dealing with it whilst already having poorly nerves that I found daunting.

I have a full body aromatherapy massage tomorrow morning - yippee! and go for Reiki after that. Hopefully it will be a lovely chilled day.

I love my gorgeous little rabbit too, he is so cute : )

Hiya Freda,,

Was going to say that all you say on anxiety is something i can totally relate to and have always identified hugely with your posts on panic etc....

I think you do fantastically in still getting out there and living despite it often being easier to stay in and isolate....understand your feelings too about your job...and how its not a case of just getting over something and then being ok again for ever with constant energy etc...

Think us women work in cycles with times of peak energy and then energy loss and a time to retreat from the world....I keep saying "its me glands" as a joke to myself ...maybe it is???! lol..

Even animals hibernate eh?

Big hugs and take care...if i come up with a good working from home idea i shall give it some thought..my pal wants to do High Visability refelctive doggy vests for dogs!!! ...xxxxxx...

Hope the massage did you a lot of good.

Have a great weekend,

NT

Hi Freda...all the best with Monday. Like you say, they are following policy and procedures. It will be over before ya know it.

Glad your looking after yourself with the massage and reiki and so on. I need to take a leaf out of your book. Am gonna have a sauna, steam room and spa pool sesh this evening.. no long slog on the tread mill. I need to get myself well.

Another day passing gambling free. take care.. S.A 🙂

Hiya Luvvy,

Just popping in to wish you the best for tomorrow 🙂 Let us know how things go.

Hugs love Del xo

Hi Lovely Lady,

Good luck for tomorrow im sure its just routine and probably to make sure your ok.

Your doing brillantly hun another 10 weeks and you hit a year gamble free be very proud of yourself.

((((((((((((f)))))))))))))

Stay Strong

E xx

Hi Freda

Hope today is going ok for you, great to read how well you are doing on the non gambling front. Like elizabeth has said you should be very proud of yourself and i hope you are!

take care freda, thanks for popping in on my diary, always nice to read a message from you. ands xx