Going to keep this thread now!

Hi Freda... I hope your appointment with the Gp on Friday goes well.

Interesting you mention the new surgery not wanting to write prescriptions for certain medications that maybe more expensive. I was reading in the paper today how health authorities are cracking down on Gp's who are deemed to be pre-scibing more expensive alternatives. According to the article 30 million is being wasted every month through not pre-scribing a cheaper alternative. So if you meet a certain intransigence then this is probably the reason why... as youve kinda said yourself really.

Anyway whilst am here. A blumin big well done for going for the whole of 2012 gambling free. Here's to another gamble free year ahead. Warm regards.. S.A 🙂

Hi Freda,

I hope ur appointment with the Dr goes well.. I will be thinking of u xx

Well done on a whole yr gamble free, that is a gr8 achievement.... One that gives me hope, u have stayed strong even thru the tough times.. U should be soooo proud of urself!

Have a gr8 day xxxx

Hiya Freda 🙂

Lovely to hear from you, just want to wish you the best for the morning at the doctor's.

Big Hug

Love Del x

hey f ...great inspiration today and hank you hun...i know you get it.....and know you can see it/

thinking of you and your appointment and sending you some good thoughts tomorrow ...and visualising that you will be okay and protected ..

hugs and thinks

r and d x

Thanks lasses, and SA(!) lol

Took support worker along with me this morning, and having attended an appointment with me at my old doctors, she agrees that this one is actually doing his job, unlike that fat old b*tch I used to get palmed off by.

He was sympathetic and gave me another 2 weeks worth of my usual medication to be reviewed again in 2 weeks. To be fair, I did a bit of research online last night, and it costs the NHS approx £57 per month for this preferred formulation, whereas the same medication in a cheaper standard release formula costs less than £9 so it is a big difference.

However the dearer one is meant to be better for anxiety, due to the steady way in which it releases into your system. To use an analogy, it is the nicotiene patch equivalent whereas the cheaper one is more like nicotiene tablets/gum.

I still have the cheap version at home, and have decided to try it one day when I know that I have old faithful as a back up, if it disagrees with me. It makes sense to try them in my own time, and challenge this fear gradually incase the option is taken away from me soon in the future. It was being given no option out of the blue, that was the most distressing thing for me last week. I may feel no worse at all on the cheapo ones, and if this is the case, I will be happy to take em as I do think pharmaceutical companies take the P**s out of the NHS a lot.

Hey thanks for swinging by and wishing me well, it makes such a huge difference. I have been through the mill recently, and I feel less alone because of it.

No way am I giving away any of the little power I do have by gambling my limited money away. xxx

Hi Freda...

"No way am I giving away any of the little power I do have by gambling my limited money away."

Exactly, well said!

My boss had us scraping dried glue off a concrete floor today and joked about her being the master of a chain gang. It was a menial task that did not need doing, cos it just needs a basic floor covering put over it, but she had us doing it anyway. She's on a power trip.

But the point I make, is that when ive just come off a gambling binge, something s**t like this would really do my head in and inside i'd be full of rage... but i wasn't today. If it gives her a thrill to see 6 grown adults squatting down scraping at a floor then so be it. Am fit and healthy it makes no difference to me. I left work on time.

Glad to hear that the meds situation is resolving itself bit by bit. Sounds like youve been through the mill and your coming out the otherside as a wholesome loaf 😉

Thanks for your support. I best go write some thoughts on my diary now.. cheers.. S.A 🙂

Hi Freda,

Thank u 4 ur post on my diary. It means a lot 🙂

I am glad that the Drs went well, I hope things start 2 get better 4 u now!

U deserve nothing but happiness 🙂

Take care xxxx

Hiya Freda,

From one wholesome loaf to another (brilliant SA lol) glad to hear things are on track.

Love Delxo

Ha ! is that your way of saying I'm a bit nutty SA?! BAAAaahhaaaahahaha!

Had a good day today, lots of laughs and stuff.

I have a huge crush on someone. I feel like a horrible wife, but I can't help it. I wouldn't do anything about it, but honestly I just want to cuddle him everytime I see him. It's not even like a sexual type of crush really, I just want to snuggle up to him all the time. Eesh what am I like!

I feel that way about John Sergent lol.....

Och! enjoy it my friend ...you're human......I think people bring out different parts of you hun...

I shall look forward to living vicariously through your crush..aswell as Sue's dating and SA's....

hugs

R and D xx

(voyeurs of GC...also not in sexual way ..lol)''

He just has a nice energy. When he hugged me, I felt safe and he smelled nice. Actually he smelled similar to hubby, so it is a compliment to him indoors in a way. I want to hold his hand all the time, but I can't, because it's sexual harassment lol.

John Sargeant - LOL! it takes all sorts ; )

ha,...before that it was Phil Jupitus or John Candy....he he he...d'ya think its a father thing?...lol lol lol xx

holding hands and hugging...its what life is about my loooov.....at least this chap has similarities to hubby ...

sexual harrassment...lol xx

All this talk of crushes reminds me of what my "thing" used to be.

If a bloke was really popular with the nearby women-folk, I would get a huge crush on him, and act all vulnerable and fragile around him in the hope he would fall for me. It was such a selfish ego thing though, because I wouldn't necessarily want him in the end. I just wanted the reassurance that I could have someone desirable, that I could have him if I wanted him. A kind of weird twisted way of getting reassurance, that I was alright, that I must be if I could woo the trophy of the moment.

Kind of what fat old mid-life crisis guys do, when they go after young birds to prove their prowess.

When the ego is parading about in all it's glory it is never pretty is it.

Counselling was hard yesterday. Brought up the real gut of the stomach, pain again. I think it was after having a few weeks break for Christmas.

Over 18 months since my last gambling episode, although I continue to play the bonus ball draw at the charity. Haven't won yet, not really about that though, just a way to raise money. Not even putting lottery on, as that would feel more of a trigger.

Still feel quite invisible.

hey f ..

Think facing those feelings is where the real progress is at...just being stuck..the spiritual doldrums...but this is where the real progress and moving forwards is done.

It may appear on the surface that nothing is happening or its even getting worse..but inside mountains are being moved ......

Trust in the process my friend...you are clearing the guck so the real you can shine through...

Saw your post about the minxy f as a younger woman ...it also made me smile as i love your honesty and also your honesty about your real motivation..know thyself....

Just as an experiement...list what you feel about your crush...as this may not be about him as a person but what you are missing in your life ..a need that you can meet yourself maybe?..maybe he is a mirror to you reflecting things about yourself that you have lost.

Im becoming the man of my dreams myself !...lol ....

Think we both are people who need protection...xx

(((((f))))))

R and D xx