HARMONY !

Keep moving forward your path is exactly what it is! Yours and yours only! Take care

Yo,

Yep you are so right Smiler .

Over the last 6 months I have done a lot of soul searching , with the help of my good friend Mr B

I have been steps to address so many of the issues that under pinned my addiction / addictions .

This is giving me the strength to face things head on,

Although not easy , i know that it is the right way to go .

Once you loose the guilt of past actions , it no longer impedes your decision making .

I know that for me to have a better quality of life , that things had to change . Going through the change is the toughy , but I have no doubt that it is the way to go , in a year or so , I will look back and know that it was worth it , that harmony is definitely achievable .

Today I will not loose sight that the rough terrain that I am pushing myself through , will eventually level out .

Just for today

Shiny xx

Hey Shiny ..

Sometimes it just takes for us to see life outside our box to be inspired to change it...

I guess it's a now or never decison and I know all too well how the feels ..it's like looking down over a cliff edge..and then into free fall.

I guess the thing to bear in mind through all your changes is that you can't control other people's reactions.

This is why making changes for the benefit of your own happiness requires great courage as we can't make decisions and then run round the other side to protect them or soften the blow.

It's life Jim....and people also have their own higher power.

The cards will get reshuffled and fall into a natural position but I guess right now it feels like they have been chucked up in the air.

No matter what you choose you will always be someone's Mum and always someone's daughter that will never change .....

hugs

R and D xx

Ps if you need me to delete this post as any time just say if you were worried if it gets in the wrong hands so to speak .

Hey Shiny,

Just to say that I have read your post from the other day probably about ten times and have tried various times to respond to it without success. So this message is just to say that I am sorry you are down at the moment and sorry that things in both personal and professional lives are difficult. However, I know that you are a tough and very wise old girl and know that you will come through just fine.

Speak again soon.

Tomso.

Hi my shiny friend.

Maintaining our stability when in recovery is difficult enough without going through trials and disappointment all of the time. Sometimes we deserve something to go right once in a while. On our journey together we found some highs and temporary relief from our struggles. We gave each other strength and helped each other believe in ourselves.

I truly believe that you are making the decisions that you have to. You must continue to evolve. That means growth on a personal level. I have come to know you as a loyal, caring, giving person who has been stuck in limbo but been somewhat afraid to step outside from the life you chose. When relationships become dysfunctional they must end. There is no point in fighting off the inevitable. It's a waste of time.

You are a fighter, a strong lady, a trooper. Your opinion of yourself has grown over these past months. You have a super kind heart and I know I speak for all of us here when I say that you are special. You will see this through to the very end because of who you are. I said I would never come back here but for you I break my own rule. You mean so much to me I cannot describe. I have no shame in letting everybody in on that. I wish you all the best as always. You know where to find me if you ever need me. I will be there for you always.

Love Mr.B. xxxx

As a Dusty Fairy your wings were clipped

Shelved away in the attic of your mind

Amongst the cobwebs and daily grind

You nearly disappeared.....

But not quite

Once seen you came alive

And shone your light brightly

Lighting up the lives of people who you touched ..

Shiny Fairies once freed from the dust

Can never go back into a box again

They are born to fly

R and D xx

Hi Shiny, Kaza, Dusty, whats-her-name! ;0)

Hope things are ok with you hun.

Keep that great inner strength going girl.

Like you say, putting those life changes in place is hard. But we all know that "nothing changes, if nothing changes", so you my friend will come out of all this turmoil a far stronger person.

All the best

MW

P.s: ....waving my magic wand especially for you!! lol ;0)

Yo,

Thank you Rach for those lovely words .

MW , keep waving for us both just probs not in shiny shower lol xxxx

And Mr B , well what can I say ..... you over the last months have been at my side , gently guiding me to view my life in a totaly different , more realist presepective , especially the way I viewed my self .

This has given me the strength without guilt or resentment to face things head on. And for that I will indepted to you for the rest of my life .

My thoughts today are about how far I have come . Conversation with my husband this morning , was not afraid , or avoiding the confrontation, not argumentative ,or accusing .

Just stated the facts : I will be walking away .

Think he had some false hope over what's happening with the shop that I would change my mind .

Felt it was important that whilst we are making decisions about the eventual outcome of our business that he was under no illusions from the get go that I would not reverse my decision to leave him. No matter how long the situation took to resolve .

This is something I could not have done 6 months ago , thought about it , but lacked the self belief that I could stand my ground and deal with the fallout . And at that piont harboured a missed placed loyalty to one and all.

As we go through recovery , we can not see it but everyday we become just that little stronger , we start to believe that we matter in the scheme of the world .

By dealing with in my case the stressers that resulted in my gambling , my hope is that the addiction although always there is never shown the light of day .

For those of you starting off , keep going , not gambling has far reaching positives in your life .

Some you never thought was possible .

Today I did not gamble and I intend to end tomorrow the same way !

Shiny xxxxxxx

thx for the kind words on my diary Shiny and congrats on a great effort despite other issues to focus on !

Morning shiny

So proud of u the way ur dealing with everything goin on and facing up to them knowing they need to be dealt with as there's no hiding from them , and that now sums u up the change u av made in urself the changes in ur life all positive and all for the right reasons , u now realise life is for living and u only live once enjoy it and be happy , yes its tough at the moment Lots of stress but that light at the end of the tunnel is shining and will only get brighter , u av seen that light b4 and got there

This is just another step forward in ur life and its a huge one and the right one couldn't be happier and more so prouder

Take care

Castle2

I think your absolutely right Ms Shiny In that by not working against yourself with a feeling of loyalty and through guilt ,your need to escape and find your own space through gambling or whatever will be greatly reduced and kept at bay...

You won't have to escape as you wont be compromised in your spirit or heart...

Yes life will throw us challenges but we can deal with them all if we are not squashed inside even the really stressful days..

To thine own self be true Shiny ...

One of the reasons I got out of my relationship quicker and did not labour at it for years on end despite huge guilt for different reasons was that I knew deep down I would never be able to be myself and that if it wasn't gambling it would be something else or someone else or some obsessive project that would dominate our lives with my ex.

keep posting Hun...and keep sharing your life with us ..I know for a fact that others on here will read your posts and be inspired to also make some changes as people who think the time isnt right will come to see the that there is never a good time which is why you have to do what you have to do..

Life will shake down and find it natural order again...trust in that.

R and D xxx

Oh ...and ps... Angels can appear in ways we least expect...yours is a jeans wearing Yorkshireman with tatoos! .... ; )

Think he may have his wings now...the forum is your heavenly host..and I'm yer lil devil ..tee hee xx

R and D xx

Shiny.

I believe everything in life happens for a reason, not in a religious way,as I am not, but I feel life throws up things that are for us just meant to be.

When you returned to the forum last week, I thought the worst, that your resolve had broken and you had once again sort the sanctuary of the bookmakers. Then I read and read it again and again, and I saw a new Shiny, one who no longer fears herself.

For that I believe is the thing that recovery has brought you, something that you have sort out for yourself, somethiing that your resolve has delivered, yes this forum was a string, The honourable Mr B ( whom I owe more than words of gratitude for believing) is a string,the forum is again adding a string, but an instrument, any instrument from a box guitar to a fine violin needs a player.

Today I feel your music, soulfull, gratifying, harmonious sound shine through.

For that I see you will continue to tune it, but you my friend hold the bow and for that be proud.

your barstool buddy.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Yo,

Good morning one and all.

Thank you for your posts , they are helping a lot !

This morning I feel much more positive about my future . Standing in the shop realising that if all goes to plan I will not be standing here the next time the clocks are due to spring forward .

All I need to do is keep striding forward , eventually I will get there !

Just for today

Shiny xxxxx

Shiny,

I have no doubt whatsoever that you are capable of achieving whatever you like. Glad to have you back and I am sure your future will be filled with joy and excitement.

Tomso.