Hey

Hi Rach

That's the addiction talking. Unfortunately and I am sure you are the same as I've heard it all before, our addiction talks to us in our own voice so we trust it. We are all intelligent people, we know the house wins which is why they make large profits but we still do it. Those thoughts are blind spots. For me I started with head on thoughts, then I went through blind spots (oh it wasn't that bad, one more play etc) then the addiction tried to come through the back door with thoughts of wasting money on other things.

Stay strong my friend 

Other things like what?? 

Shopping ? 

Yes i used to think just £20 more ,right this is the last £20 hundreds later ... day after day this went on then id win back what I lost ,then spend it again its a never ending cycle, I thought this time was different cos I was making withdrawals and actually stayed about even or if not better for a about 3 month then I started losing after losing ,hence why I decided enough is enough. 

Hi Rach

You should be so proud of yourself for making that decision at the stage you were at. So many people think it's a financial problem and we just need to do more gambling to get out of it. 

For me, the last ten years have been utter chaos. No enjoyment and no way out. It sounds like we both had enough and were broken.

I went on one of my long walks the other day. I was listening to a youtube interview and started to get urges to waste money on something I didn't need shopping wise. I then was playing a game online and looking to buy a bonus to get me through a level which is one of the old gambling style shortcuts if that makes sense to you. I resisted both but I am sure they would have been a slow way back to the addiction. I'm just a bit paranoid after 44 years

Stuart

@lp5vut869c hey day 33 !!! 

I have spent £1.98 on my new games I don't see that as bad ?? £1.98 in 33 days I'll take that hit lol.. 

Still no desire to gamble ,still having "what if" thoughts 🤔 

Financial im still in a lot of debt but thats all sorted in a debt plan, I just didnt want to end up losing everything I have its nothing huge but it allows me to live quite comfortably. Just gutted I lost what I did .

I gave myself £500 to spend this month and im down to £210 already and that's just "normal" living, I have other money but I'm trying to budget, something I cant ever remember doing before 

I blame the fuel prices ,could cry everytime I pass a fuel site it goes up before your eyes 👀 

Hi Rach

Day 33 Kaboooooom !!!!!

Well done. 

How are you finding things ? I started to see dramatic improvements in my thoughts over month one to two but I'm a slow learner and like to delve deep, too deep. Takes me an age to process the thoughts and decide a multitude of meanings from them and how to get those negatives to the fore so my non gambling brain can action and dissolve them. 

Life now is much simpler. I get so much pleasure out of every day life. I read my gratitude list again from week two and those ten things apart from family were still materialistic. My gratitude list today was so different and meant more to me. 10 things that cost nothing at all and have always been there, just needed to open my eyes. 

When my sponsor told me that each morning I needed to have a routine of serenity prayer, meditate for ten minutes and then write my gratitude list. I had thoughts then - and that's going to set me up for a gamble free day. Well, how wrong was I. When I told him this he said to me l, Stuart's thinking got him into this GA room, broken. What makes me think that Stuart's thinking is going to sort out my problems. Wise words

@lp5vut869c hey ... day 34 !!! But its still early but I have no desire to gamble today !! Or any other day ... 

Question - im still getting loads of messages and emails about gambling "£25 on the house " etc ... ive tried unsubscribing and blocking spam mges but I still get loads a day !!! Its frustrating more than anyrhing ,unsure if you had a magic powers to stop this?? 

(You seem to know alot )

Hope today is also  a GF day for you Stuart 🙂 

Hi Rach

I've followed your story from the start and can't believe you are on day 34. Well done !!!!

Some systems like Hotmail can block the emails if you pay. If you are on Gamstop then all UK ones should be blocked. I guess the ones you are getting are from dodgy foreign sites ?

Stuart

@lp5vut869c hey... 

I get so many couldn't tell you where they are found.more than likely dodgy ones .

I've been with gamstop for years which is great at uk sites but useless otherwise. 

Like the banks are good at blocking uk sites but useless when it comes to dodgy sites 

You have Gamban though so that blocks everything. You are doing amazingly well. I think the blocks are incredibly Important to me but they are more friction barriers. I could get around then but I don't want to. They would also take time and by then I would hope that sanity kicks in and I don't do it.

How is your week going ? Have you had any challenges in recovery recently ? Are you seeing any differences in your mindset ?

@lp5vut869c hey... 

Yes same as me ,I could get round the blocks but I don't want to either lol.... still no desire to gamble 

Weeks going ok work is rubbish but hey ho.. 

Only challenge is thinking I dont have enough money I know I do but I guess before I didnt know what I had in the bank.

Hope your week is going ok ?

Hi Rach

Well done, sorry about work. I'm ok this week, have worries about next week but trying to stay present and in today only. 

This whole journey of recovery always takes will power and work on ourselves so well done to getting to today

Day 37 

Day 37 GF - but i have to admit today i tried to remove gamban ,ever since i put gamban on my phone its been going really slow so i thought after 37 days i can remove it ,i told myself "you will be fine" anyways i didnt try very hard to remove it and it didnt work so gamban is still on my devices and i havent gambled, cant say i would of gambled but i probably would have , just £20 thats ok right 😬... 

This week has been a rubbish week , not felt 100% well and life's just been "dull" 

Day 40 !!! 

Wobble over 40 days gf !!! 

Gamban is definitely making my phone go slowly though but never mind.  

Hi Rach

40 !!! That's amazing. How much money and time do you think you have saved let alone avoiding any stress damage.

Well done for sticking two fingers at the wobble. When you go through hell keep going 

Send Gamban an email with your phone make and model and they will be able to fix that for you 

@lp5vut869c hey Stuart !!!

I will send them a email ,thanks for that 🙂 

Im not sure ive saved any money lol... 

Been spending alot , chiropractor, getting a memorial paid for ,for my dear dad who passed away 01/04/2023..

All the things ive been putting off.. 

How are you ??