Hope

Hey there SA...

You made me laugh out loud from deep of my heart!!! Heh heh....missing my rants? Lol...I am sure they will b bk in future lol...will surely keep u all updated 😉

Lol, nobody touches my hair!!!! Lol lol, and my few boxing skills would put u on a cloud 9 for a while lol...joking mate, biggest hug would be urs and I believe you would be running away from me then lol, ( psycho) .. but no worries, I would be chasing u my friend, still practicing and running with the wind!!! ;-))

Great post, and I am glad to see you in high spirits. Everything will work out fine my friend, steady does it. Keep calm, healthy and g free!!!

Day at a time

Be kind to urself

(((((( SA ))))))

S X

P.s. 440 days!!! Smthing to be really proud of my friend!! xx

SA

'i think i was a fool to think the company had an interest in my development'

Fella the thing the company did not bank on was you had an interest in your own developement, fatal.

Keep making the right choice my friend.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Day 441 gambling free

Thank you Sandra and Dunc's 🙂

Well today my mate Garmin (the satellite watch) says that during the course of a 9 mile run I beat my 1 mile personal best by a staggering 16 seconds! All this mileage ive been putting in over the last few months is starting to pay off.

Parallels to be made here. If I can put the effort that I have put into running into other areas of my life... then the sky's the limit!

No gambling issues with me today. Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

SA

Fella thanks for the food for thought.

Today your running carried on here, it gifted me great therapy

For it I thank you.

To be able to share recovery is something our friend Rach often said.

To be in recovery you give recovery away.

Keep moving forward my friend.

Yes our gambling paths are frighteningly alike.

In the cold light of day the time we gifted machines with a small outlay sends a shiver down my spine.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi SA

Just popping along to see how things are with you and happy to read that you're still strong and determined.......in terms of abstinence and life.

As usual, your running puts me to shame....I'm still struggling with my exercising!

Take care of yourself,

Irene

x

Day 442 gambling free and thanks Dunc's and Irene 🙂

Am feeling on a level today, with just a little angst about my work situation... 4 more shifts until this particular chapter of my working life comes to a close. No regrets, for better or for worse.

Thanks for listening... S.A

Hi SA,

Your previous post about working for a private company is one that I totally empathise with. For my company, they essentially want an automaton that follows everything by the procedures and has surface interaction with customers so that they feel valued, without ever actually interacting beyond that surface level.

I hope your last week goes well, and I think it is both brave and exciting for you to take that step into the unknown. I'm looking forward to doing the same thing, just don't know when I'll be in a situation to do just that.

You've got the right attitude about this one, no regrets is definitely the right way to approach this new chapter, and I'm sure you'll do this well. If you have the skills to be one of the best workers in such an environment, then those skills can be applied in many other environments too.

Well done on breaking your one mile record. Not just one step forward, but many fast ones!

All the best mate,

Ryan

S.A.

Love reading your diary and watching your progress. Enjoy your last week. I am excited for you. A new chapter in your life is just around the corner.

Great news with the running too. I think you will be breaking several records this year going the way you are going.

Tomso.

Day 443 gambling free.

Thanks Ryan and Tomso 🙂

Well, everyday is different isn't it. I was feeling quite positive yesterday and today am feeling depressed and worried and tired. Found out that my company is probably once again about to f**k me over.

Apparently they've changed the way that they pay us once again and we haven't been paid in arrears like we always were...ie what you work January will get paid in February. Now its what you work in any month is paid at the end of that month. To cut a long story short.. I will probably get f**k all at end of February. I will find out tomorrow if this is so... cos the boss wasn't quite sure how it works... its all pants. Anyway I won't let potential money worries de-rail my recovery but I spose its typical of me being a compulsive gambler to over focus on money issues... my rent is well ahead.

Thanks for listening... S.A

Hi S.A. your last week I believe, everyone's gunning for you. The more I hear about your company the more I despair. How you managed so long there without having several nervous breakdowns is beyond me. Reading some of your tales reminds me of a party I was at about 20 years ago. There was a Down Syndrome lad there from Lytham St. Annes, I still remember his name was Matthew. The punk was about 4 foot ten and 18 stone. He was a nice lad and easy to chat to, I was nice to him all afternoon playing football and making sure he had enough cake and pop. He was the life and soul of the party bopping away like there was no tomorrow, with everyone encouraging him with friendly roars and rhythmical clapping. As the party died down Matthew went around the room giving out little handfuls of his M&M's to various people with a big smile on his ruddy and somewhat overheated face. Eventually he came to me and emptied what was left of his M&M's into my palm (about three and all shitt colours). I thanked him like everybody else had as those around clapped before tossing them into my mouth. He looked at me briefly and without any warning screamed 'you greedy f****r' and gave me a left hook to the mouth, the little punk bust my lip wide open. Everyone just laughed and clapped as Matthew bounced into the kitchen to find more M&M's.

If you had to go into work day in day out not knowing what could happen from one of your service users then that must have been stressful. Reading your tales it came across to me that you could detect early warning signs and prevent instances like this happing, if only I had your knowledge then it would have saved me the embarrassment of walking round like Lesley Ash for a week or so.

Take care, keep positive

Lazarus Holmes

Day 445 gambling free

Thanks Lazarus... I have so many similar tales I wouldn't know which one to tell first. Some times there is no rhyme nor reason to the behaviours of someone with a leaning disability.

Ive spent the last 24 hours lying in bed feeling incredibly ill as has one of my collegues. I think we have both caught flue off of one of the clients. Am just starting to feel human again.

As far as work goes, I have at the 11th hour been approached by one of the managers to see if I want to work at one of the supported living projects. Iv'e said yes.... so it looks like am not leaving the company after all, at least not just yet. Its purely a sensible practical decision given that the agency has not got back to me with any work.

No gambling thoughts but iv'e found the last few weeks really tough. Day at a time, day at a time.

Thanks for listening... S.A

Hi SA,

Hope u feel much better soon and will feel strong enough to go for ur lovely long run.

Well done on g free days, take it easy and keep believing. Ur doing great.

As of work..., working and getting income is good, just mk sure u don't get stressed out too much..nothing ever will stop u looking further afield my friend.

All the best

Day at a time indeed 😉

Sandra x

SA

Fella I hope you are feeling better today, glad to read someone in that company has some sense!!

And as that old saying goes

'don't cut your nose off to spite your face'

Keep doing what works for SA

Duncs stepping forward never back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp43OdtAAkM

thanks for popping in, hope all is ok in your world.

Take care SA

x

Day 447 gambling free.

Thanks everyone

Am really out of sorts, so much I could write about and what's going on for me but am just not well. Thought I might get good sleep last night, but it wasn't to be.

Am just concentrating on not gambling and negotiating each day as it comes. Thanks for listening... S.A