I cannot believe i have done this to myself

It actually feels good to pay bills doesn't it!! Well done on day 23 good stuff, take care S 🙂

Day 24 gambling free...

I took my car to the garage today, a fault was found in my car.it cost £600 to repair.I donot need this at this time of my recovery.... i feeling down today.

Just had a read through your diary. You're doing really well! I find the few days the hardest, then you have to try not to get complacent. The £600 for your car was needed, you probably use it every day. Everyone that drive has to pay out expenses now and again. At least your money has gone towards something worthwhile. If you gambled it away you would feel much worse. Keep on Keeping on - one day at a time. All the best

I gambled yesterday and today. No financial damage but......

The last 2 weekends I gambled I was gambling free for 25 days before last weekend. It felt so hard resisting it everyday so i gambled small amount. So i gambled last weekend , then no gambling for 5 days and then gambled this weekend. No financially pain as i didnot go crazy or didnot chase loss. But this makes me worried about myself, after 25 days gambling why didnot i carry on ? Is my addition severe or is it normal to relapse in the first attemp to stop gambling....

Right, so after i stopped for 25 days i started gambling again. I won £600 and lost it and then won it back and the lost..so since i went gambling again i didnot go crazy or chase losses. I go in with 200 if i win 100 or 200 i walk away, if i lose 100 or 200 i walk away. I thinking was if i stay calm and donot chase loss i will use whatever i win to reduce debt which is my biggest problem at the moment. But even that didnot work, so i feel disappointed today. The thing i have noticed is that in the last 3 weeks i was distracted alot of the time and tired. My biggest problem is roulette. Funny enough i donot believe in fobts or online i only bet on real wheel so they journey to the casino every other day is wasting my time.
Let me just say i am not going to say i will stop forever because i was fighting urges all the time. Let me just say i have really lost interset in the whole casino gambling idea...
On a positive note i havenot lost any money to gambling in the last 2 months.

Feeling sad. Scared of the future...I cried alot today...

I should be at work now, but no i was at the casino gambling and losing a futher £1000 going further into debt after 2250 lost yesterday that's new record for me.
I am so sad and so upset at my behaviour.
I will never win any of my money back.i am going futher into debt.
This has to stop now and for ever.
I tried everything, everymethod nothing is working to get my mo ey back.
I am now 18500 in debt rather than 15000.

Win or lose it doesn't matter because we are all losers in the end.

The odds are designed to let us experience the highs of winning but ultimately take every last penny we can get our hands on.

Accept your loses, only when you do so will you stop adding to them.

As the saying goes "we can't win because we can't stop".

Thanks
i have now accepted my losses which i should have done long time ago...
I admit i have aproblem.
Tomorrow will be day 1 gambling free.
I want to clear my head , focus on my work and my family.
I am such aloser

Anyone that gambles is a loser but we don't have to carry on being losers. It is always possible to turn things around but you need to make changes in your life for the better.

Good luck with day 1, then just build on it a day at a time.

I am not expert having done a similar thing three weeks ago! However i do know that the way to get into more debt is to try to win by gambling! I've been trying for years and it really doesn't work. I am now working at paying stuff back. Feels good when you get your debt down. A month ago I owed 7600, went mad and ended up 10,500 in debt! Now down to 9,600 again! These amounts are crazy, I was doing 20,50,100 a spin on slots three weeks ago and really it was my low point. What in learnt is I never want to go back there again. We can't win because we cannot stop. The money has gone, it's not coming back. Exclude, let people know you owe money and get some support, good luck mate. I am sure you would take 15k of debt now wouldn't you? Make sure you don't think that about 18.5k. All the best.

Hi again Adam. The money is gone, you will not win it back. If you really want to stop, why don't you do the self exclusion at the casino...it helps fight the urges. You will never win if you continue to gamble. You are a compulsive gambler; you cannot control it, you cannot limit it to £100-£200 a week. Have you joined GA? I find it helps.

Thanks for the comments and advice. Today has been really hard,thinking about my losses. I was distracted at work all the time. But day 1 is over now, thanks god. Never ever put a bet again.