It got worse before it got better

Happy new year I'm sending you a bucket full of strength so you can knock mr gamble out, come on you can do this x

Thankyou Anon!! I'm soaking up that bucket of strength. No urges today but mind is back on the phone calculator working out the pennies. There's not much pennies I'll tell u that. Funny what u can survive on one Mr G's had his fill...here's to 2017...ive got 6 months of hardship Infront of me...b worth it tho x

Day 5.....hate these first fees weeks....the anger inside me ...at myself for being so foolish. However what I have done is take the remainder of money I have out...Not that it's much but not taking by chances. Got a few bits to sell on eBay after a xmas tidy up...should just be able to cover the bills that I haven yet paid. Wish me luck...2017 will b mine Mr G x

Lady h wrote:

Day 5.....hate these first fees weeks....the anger inside me ...at myself for being so foolish. However what I have done is take the remainder of money I have out...Not that it's much but not taking by chances. Got a few bits to sell on eBay after a xmas tidy up...should just be able to cover the bills that I haven yet paid. Wish me luck...2017 will b mine Mr G x

Stick in, you are going well.

Financially you will get by (we always do).

Better to take the pain now, for a brighter future.

Stay focussed.

Sbb

Hi Lady H, sorry to hear you have replapsed. Time to make this year, your year. Thank you for writing on my wall a while back, sorry I didn't get to back to you. Sadly, it's not something that will just disappear via a click of the fingers. But only you can do it. We get to the point where we can't do it anymore, feel the same horrible feelings constantly...there's got to be more to life, hasn't there? Keep checking in and remember we are all here for you and you are not alone.

Take Care. Cx

Hi just dropping by to see how you are doing x

Thanks guys!!

I'm ok .....anger still there. Just want this month to hurry up and pass along of this feeling of disappointment. Still gamble free tho...taking the cash out of my account makes a huge difference. Must do when I get paid x

I've got this horrid butterfly/stress feeling at the mo. Need to pay a bill and I'm just waiting for the dreaded call...more so cos they could call my partner first. I've got a little bit of cash coming during this week but want it now to pay the bill...it's making me feel sick. I hate this first few weeks of anger and disgust and worry. For those who are feeling this...it does get better with time as long as you don't visit Mr G, not the first time I've felt like this. I will get there and 2017 will be a good year for me, I'm determined. Middle report came through today....felt a bit better as defaults from 7 years ago dropping off. However that feeling was soon crushed as realised all the short term lenders sat there...ruining what would have been an improving credit score...stupid little amounts. Plan of action is to get rid of these stupid door step lenders in next 6 months and then plough money into those payday loans in my DMP. Very doable as long as I don't spend a night with Mr G x

* noddle report lol

Keep going, every day you remain gf your winning x

Confession time......Today was a big test of my strength. Had the day off work, got up got dressed, took Lil one to nursery....however noticed in the letter pile on the stairs a promotion for free main session at bingo, googled the site to see if there was a session on in the day....thought yes and it's free, if I win I'm up, plus I don't do real slots so it's not really gambling as not spending my own money. Got to the shopping centre opp bingo hall, dabber in handbag at the ready (was going shopping anyway As had a voucher from xmas to spend).....looked across the road and felt sick. I span on my heels and came home...ripped up the voucher n threw the dabber back in the drawer. So close, so close.....

Well done lady h for running....we are all just one step away from returning to a very slippery slope...no matter what day count were on....
Keep fighting love.....you can do it x

Proud of you, another day on the clock x

Yes I take my money out also and lock it in a tin. I am pleased to state that I am only checking my bank statement 1-2 times a week and obsessing less about money. Great isn't it

Thank you anon loxxie n Katie!!

Well was starting to feel better until I saw a msg from a friend of mine sent yesterday morning but didn't see til an hour ago as she sent it via an app I don't get notifications for. In a way I didn't see it til then as I prob wld have gone into that bingo hall yesterday. I owe her some money...she helped me get out of a sticky situation a while back, it was due to gambling. I have paid her half back and now she needs the rest. I have told her I will repay all by end of March but I would love to pay her all now. This hasn't tempted me to gamble as I know I don't have the funds in my account thank goodness. What I will do, once paid I will list my debts as I know it helps to see it reducing. She hasn't replied and I wish she would ..her msg was not vicious...I don't want to loose a friend over money. Can't wait for payday...not to be able to gamble but to start making dents in this debt.

Confession time (well I might have mentioned this before)...I work in a bank...just goes to show doesn't matter who you are or where you work this addiction can take you down. GF for today and forever fingers crossed. Love and peace to all my fellow fighters x