It got worse before it got better

Hiya lady h X 🙂 thanks for post. Glad to see your going strong! Thanks too for saying about relapses I learnt loads from last relapse. Well done hun:)) Lu x

Hello and well done on your gf days, your not far behind me. Glad I made you smile, Mr G had me so under the thumb not only did he steal all my money he stole my sense of humour! But since KOing him I regained my sense of humour hence laughing at myself when eating dog biscuits by mistake (hair shiny though lol) and putting super strong pull me in tights on to cover muffin top. Mr G can keep the money because I've got something now much more precious which is my life back. Take care x

Hey yall!!

Just to let u know I haven't fallen off the wagon!! It would seem as I have managed not to meet up with Mr G I have become extremely busy lately. I have £40 til Sat as child benefit comes in and pay day next week. As we have done the almighty food shop last week there is no need for me to purchase anything really apart from perishables and I walk to and from work. That's pretty good going for me. However what is happening is PDP (pay day panic)....constant calculating of bills trying to work out what I'll have left to buy xmas pressies....which scares me will I pay Mr G in order to attempt to make more cash for xmas?

Hi and well done on still being gf and having some money left so far, that 40.00 you would not have had should you have gambled this month. Don't kid yourself that you will win money to buy xmas presents, there is only one winner and it won't be you. stay strong and positive and knock mr g out if he shows up. He dare not show his face to me, I'm a tough cookie when I want to be, them pull me in tuck me in tights turn me into super woman. best wishes. X.

Hi Lady H , I think that pay day panic hits most of us at some point especially in those early stages , it's the norm for you to think youv'e a big chunk of money coming your way so it's fine to spend a little gambling , it's justification and that's all and the problem is we never stop at spending a little , in fact we don't usually stop until it's all gone .

You haven't ended up here because gambling gave you the money to buy presents , or fill your cupboards with lots of food and pay your bills just for good measure ? , were here because gambling has taken everything from us , Time money with loved ones and self respect , I know which choice I'm making and I'm sure you do to , pay day or not ?.

Keep working at it and see this through , then when xmas arrives you'll have the present money can't buy you :))

Best wishes Alan x

Day 0

How sickening to log in and see I wld have been 60 days without Mr G paying me a visit. No new diary starts. ...I want to give a true picture of what happens...you can't just stop and it's over...failure is part of this journey. You know what happened? I was proud of having money left days before payday...and that's it....spent that and a lot more after payday. I'm tired upset and most of all embarrassed ...nothing more to say I just feel like going away. Keep thinking of how good I felt whist Mr G was gone.

Hi lady h so sorry to hear you've relapsed but like you said it's part of the journey there's something to be learned from this, I spent time thinking what caused me to relapse and it helped give me more weapons in my arsenal enabling me to stay gf. Don't beat yourself up Hun just keep strong and keep gf best wishes Lu x

Hi , firstly well done on being honest and coming back on here, from reading diaries on here lots of people did and do relapse (me included in the early days) what you have to take from that is learn from what went wrong and make sure you have the correct blocks in place for next time. We are all here to support each other and not judge. It's no good beating yourself up what's done is done, think forward not backwards and kick that mr g up the backside. Rooting for you x

Thankyou So much Lu and Anon. Still non gamble....I'm just so angry at the moment. To recoup my losses I have had to turn to a doorstep lender...funds will be tight over next 6 months...if Mr G was to visit I'd be down and truly out. I'm only to blame. Sorry I haven't caught up on your diaries but will do so over next couple of days. Life is worth living, Farewell Mr G I will not let u ruin me.

I have read your diary as just joined and I think you are incredibly strong. I think losing near Xmas is especially hard . I too have kids and Xmas is a time where my nerves are tested with money worries.When I worry I gamble. I'm on day 2. Let's make this journey together ! Strength in numbers

Hi well done on remaining gf, you have to let go of the feeling angry it will only lead you to try and get some money back and you know who will win and it won't be you. 6 months of tightening your belt to get through it or getting deeper into debt if you carry on gambling, I know what I would choose, when you have the urges, read your diary and others on here and see how low you and they were over the gambling when they lost. Come on like the post above stated there is strength in numbers, we all support each other on here and can beat it x

Hi Lady, how you doing, you have clocked up over a week that is an achievement but you have to remain strong, I'm willing you to beat this. Part of what helps me is coming to terms with the fact that the house always wins, put it this way, would you push £10 notes down the drain? I think not but that's what we do when we gamble , we might have the occasional win but the house only lends it you because they know they will get it back. Anyway well done x

Keep going Lady, be strong, a happier and more rewarded Christmas will be the reward for you and your family! All the very best.

Daily counter reset, life reset.

Here's to day 2. I don't even want to talk about him...just glad his ugly head hasnt arisen x