My Diary of Shame

Hi Junnieee,

It's tough at times to keep Mr gamble where he belongs in the gutter, as the days build up, the Mr Gamble will try every method going to try and suck us back in, he is very very sneaky, proud of you for not succumbing to his evil temptation.

Keep one step ahead, keep strong and keep winning, Mr Gamble will hate that even more, but he won't give up lol.

Take care and keep safe.

Blondieeexxxx

Hi Junnieee,

It's tough at times to keep Mr gamble where he belongs in the gutter, as the days build up, the Mr Gamble will try every method going to try and suck us back in, he is very very sneaky, proud of you for succumbing to his evil temptation.

Keep one step ahead, keep strong and keep winning, Mr Gamble will hate that even more, but he won't give up lol.

Take care and keep safe.

Blondieeexxxx

We can and we will keep going OAU as long as we stay very close to recovery, it's our saviour Junnieee

Blondieeee xxxxx

Thank you Odaat for supportive post. Am in the bath now so if this post is only half done you will know I dropped phone in the water Lol. Have to re read my posts as predictive text an sometimes if I hadn't there would be some peculiar words! Well done on staying so strong minded. Hope I can join you in the future. IKEA now ya talking! Love it but always get lost in there. Know they like to keep costs down but usually one assistant in whole shop lol so never anyone to help. And why do I always buy something that I know won't fit in the car! But still love going there's. Used to love the meatballs in the cafe yum. Keep doing what you are doing as certainly working for you. Mary x

Hi Juuuuuuuune,

Just dropping by to let you know that "recovery is possible"......just in case you didn't know!! ;0)

Keep strong

Ade

June

That ade is right you know! !! Recovery is possible! !!!

Did you know that eating chilli or chillies to be precise has been linked with a similar dopamine release in the brain that gambling gives? ?? Funny thing is I am not good with spice but do enjoy chilli! ! Try some roquito chillies they are perfect for the lightweight

Lol

Regards addiction trying to open the door to 'new' ventures for me it's entering the desperation stages, it is in the last vestages of believing it can still control you and will waffle on about how 'other' forms of gambling won't encounter the same losses

Well just read the truth on many threads here

For us the compulsive gambler there is simply no such thing as an innocent punt.

I have written many times that for twenty years I started more than half of every conversation I had with 'I bet' at the start of it

Today I don't because today I am fully aware of the outcome of taking a single one, whether that be for a cup of tea or the lottery I would feed the beast that lives within.

Keep starving it my friend.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Sneaky!! 😀

Yep i kept it on...shhh...i still need to reply to top ppl :-/ don't make it sound too obvious lol

Since ya ready to face the day or more likely IKEA, i shall kick it off with - keep winning and staying safe because we all want to see it all turning out nice again ☺

OAU ODAAT (just echoing wise words 🙂 )

As always your a great support x

Hey ODAAT, good to be back thanks for dropping by my diary.

Im back to see out the next 224 days gamble free. Great to see you and others still here providing inspiration and living proof of what can be achieved in battling the addiction.

Glad to 'see' you're still doing well. Keep at it 🙂

Clare x

I know it's me, there's no one else in the gym wearing bright blue gym pants (which seemed such a good idea when I found them on the bargain rail) & pink trainers! I'm doing the moves, I know I am, left foot down right foot tap & so on & so forth but it just doesn't look the same coz my arms are too long to keep up & I defy anyone to make hands like shovels look graceful 😉 It's my first Fit Step class & to make sure it is me, I glance up above my shoulders & o*g what is that? (I'm not a fan of mirrors @ the best of times, have you ever tried walking round a gym without catching a glimpse of yourself? I have it mastered!) There appears to be what can only be described as a demented grin peering back @ me! It's horrible but it makes me smile more & I go @ the next few steps with even more gusto! Apparently, the American Smooth does not require gusto, it needs elegance & grace but I am forgiven like a small child that tries too hard, it's endearing (I hope)!

Despite this unnerving smile & a heart that feels like it's trying to beat outside my body as I step into the sunshine, I really could just sit in the car & have a little nap! Now that I am collecting smiles instead of dishing out filthy looks, as per my skating partner (come life guru)'s instructions it seems the last goodness knows how many months of work stress is no longer wedged deep down inside me! It is manifesting itself with exhaustion & tears (good job I like crying) along with a few other undesirable attributes! I'm still not convinced I was running from anything whilst gambling as I can squarely point the finger of blame @ work's door but I'm really surprised that I feel like this! Surprisingly, no urges to gamble...Just a burning desire to not feel tired! I am booked in for blood tests just in case (diabetes has been discounted) but the day I made plans with my friend to be 'normal' I had no symptoms!

I'm on my way to work now with heavy heart trying not to get excited by the sights from the DLR coz when I'm grumpy, I like to stay grumpy?!? But just like I am 'recovering' from my gambling addiction, I know I will find a way to manage this! & that starts now...With a smile (yep, I can hear you) & a shake of my head @ how daft it is to not want to shake the funk! There's a frisson of excitement as I realise the next station is the Cutty Sark & the last time I was here was for the Paralympics! Goodness I've had a charmed life 🙂

Thank-you diary & thank-you friends for always being there - ODAAT

Hiya Junie..don't worry about those mirrors you sound a sight to behold to me 🙂 ...I'm glad you said that you felt that you weren't running from anything while in the throes of gambling, me too...people speak of addressing the underlying causes in your life which led you to gamble..for me there's no "issues" in my life past or present I just have to accept I just like gambling...its loosing I'm not keen on 🙂 ..and isn't it amazing how you smile so much more when you 'choose not to loose'

I'm sure your blood tests will be fine, hopefully the tiredness is just ODAAT being her over exuberant self 🙂

And Junie isn't it fun when you sit at the front on the DLR pretending to be the driver...but don't you get some funny looks when you shout MIND THE DOORS....or perhaps that's just me 🙂

keep smiling and making us smile juuuuuuune..OAU..Ginger

Hiya Junie,

Thanks for posting on my diary. It's great to read your posts....you were wasting your talents when gambling. You could write a book. Very entertaining lady you are !! Thanks for making me feel normal. You would think the urges would have passed by now ...it was like I wanted to self destruct all weekend. It started on Friday afternoon and just got worse and worse. I know my control button doesn't work. That gambling voice in your head is so convincing though. You are doing so well . Hope the tiredness lifts. You deserve every happiness. Talk soon, Suzy

Hey Juuunie,

When the tough gets going the tough keeps going, and you are one tough cookie 🙁 we are stronger than we think we are) very proud of you and very proud to be walking this path with you,,we know it's tough at times, but we know it's the only way to go in the end, OAU my friend.

,Blondieeexxx

Just thought I would check in on you to see how your doing! Reflecting on some of your support in one of my earlier diaries this year thanks for your words of encouragement at those times it has helped me push forward during my latest attempt at recovery!

Oh you just made my day actually lol at ur gym palava u sound like me avoiding mirrors etc. keep up the good work. 290 days is just amazing xxxxx