My Diary of Shame

Thanks, as always. How strange is that about your back? Maybe this woman of mine is right? I wonder how you'd fare against her Jedi mind tricks! I'm feeling ok now, but it was really intense. And why were you snuffling about it? You're a big softy really 🙂

LB x

Sorry Ade, but if there's a passing bandwagon I can't help but jump on it....

I thinks she's Always Saying Bugger Off (to Mr. G)....Or

Actively Seeking Better Opportunities (In life, other than Mr.G)...Or

Always Selflessly Benefitting Others (around this forum)

I'm sorry ODAAT if that last one bought a lit bit of sick into your mouth 🙂 🙂

Having said all that, it could just be that she's a psychopath...can't say she didn't warn you!!

LB x

kk

​I have just read your post. Will reply 2moz. Its complicated!!!

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Yes, I'm up and about and grateful to be facing another day. The pain in my neck feels worse if anything!! If she'd been saying that I was holding the "emotional pain" in my back I would have thought it was a load of tosh but it make sense about holding the tension in our muscles. She also said I don't breath properly ( apparently I don't use my diaphragm....I think that's because it's constricted by a roll of ripple induced fat!). Using the train journey to practice relaxation is an excellent idea...just don't miss getting off at the right stop 🙂

LB x

What to do with the answers. Accept them. They are your history, they've shaped & moulded the person who you are today. They will hopefully give you an understanding of perhaps some of your resentments, fears & frustrations that drive your behaviour.

They are about self-awareness & understanding we are all a product of our environment. Our feelings & how we respond to them are shaped from our early childhood experiences & these questions examine maybe where our core beliefs ​about ourselves stem from. Your mothers relationship with her mother is a question that should shine some light on how she subsequently interacted with you. Not all the questions will hold great meaning but they are all pieces of the puzzle.

So what do we do with all this information?? We share it with someone we trust. We confess it all, every last word of it.

Dan x

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​o x

Just popping by 🙂 xxx

Hi ODAAT. Thanks for the post on my diary , I know I can prob over anylise things but I think I'm trying to find a reason why I am who I am ! Just had a post from Balvaird regarding the sad loss of his wife to cancer at an early age . That has now triggered memories for me abut the time I started betting . Will go into more detail later in the diary ! I did get more sleep thank you ! but to improve my looks I'd need to be sleeping 24/7 !! Take care for now xx Alan who will not gamble today !

Hey Junie, I told you drinking bleugh is the key to success lol..don't become an aquaholic like my Mrs ... "the florist" drinks far too much bleugh in my opinion :-)) ..which reminds me l must ask her why she drinks Evian, and she buys Ginge Buxton :-0 ...keep winning Juuuune.. OAU the Ginger one x

Hey ODAAT, are you around for a chat? xx

o*g junnieee:))) was that a hug on LBs post, you are moving OAU and If I am right, you didn't plan the hug, it just came straight from your heart:))) you are doing it my strong friend, you are WTW,

Sxxxxxxx

I feel well and truly honoured. A hug! Thank you my wise, Dutch friend 🙂

I'd hug you back, but I don't want to push my luck!!

LB x

Been thinking & 'talking' & contemplating a lot lately & read tonight about just sitting & being...I'm not sure I actually know how to do that! I'm either thinking I need to have sleep because I'm tired or I'm sat tip tapping on my phone. I get kinda stuck too, like now, I've bought the fone into the loo with me coz the footy is on & I'm not feeling it & I'm just sat here reading & poking @ the 'keys'. I need a shower (because it's the done thing not because I stink), the mutt needed to go out (it's been such a long time since I've taken my fair share of the responsibility he gets confused when I pick up his lead now), I even have a train to catch @ half 5, so it's perfectly acceptable I should go to bed now but I've been distracted. I've checked my emails 17 times, loaded & reloaded Gamcare almost as many & just in case I didn't feel the phone vibrate whilst it is in my hand, I've hopped over to Whatsapp half a million times too! Not counting my fellow WAG I've had the sum total of about 4 messages this entire month & it's not likely to be changing anytime soon but I get like this a lot! Manic in a very lazy way :-0

Still who am I to grumble, no b*****d urges & long may it stay that way 🙂 Nothing changes if nothing changes & so fellow Gamcarers, on that note, I shall abandon my phone for a few minutes & run some water to see if I can wash away some of the lazy that is clinging to me since my brush with depression! I am about as far from depressed as I have ever felt lately, recovery rocks 🙂 Now wish me luck, it's not a record but I've been sat a while & I may not be able to move my legs 😉

HI ODAAT, Yeah !! Maybe just a smidgen of too much info , being in the loo with your phone reading and poking your keys ! Really?? Changing my mind about honesty always being good !! LoL !! Good luck and I hope you can still feel your legs ? Have a great Wednesday !! Alan

I'm finding it hard to believe that someone who runs a half marathon can describe herself as lazy! Go wash your mouth out with soap right now, young lady 🙂

A bit bored maybe. Listless? I'll give you that....but never lazy. I do think that having the world in your hands ( literally, on your phone) brings a level of restlessness that never used to be there. In my day we had to wait weeks for the carrier pigeon to arrive with a message 🙂 The effect of so much flitting from site to site is widely discussed and I'm sure if you could be arsed ( which seems doubtful!!) you could even look up studies on it. In the meantime, the "Headspace" app is quite good. A little bit of mindfulness, in a short contained burst....and not a josh stick or mung bean in sight 🙂

LB x

Hi,

Took me a while to find your diary so thank you for your recent post.

Carrying money for me will happen but not yet. Only when I am ready and let's face it I don't really need to carry it on a daily basis.

Hope your recovery is going well.

Best wishes