My Diary of Shame

I think your NM is very perceptive and of course he's right. I'm sure that GA would be very welcoming and if you feel the need to go why not try it? You're not committed to going back if you don't like it. Maybe the fact that you're even thinking about attending says that perhapes you should? Anyway, if it works at all then surely you won't be the only one there who hasn't gambled for eons? 🙂

LB x

What's all this about considering GA!! Which one? I need to warn them! We would love to have you. Have you considered what you may be able to offer it?

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Kelly (that feels weird calling you that). We meet Monday 8-10 & Thursday 7.30-9.30. I'm going to struggle to not hug you if you turn up & I know I'm likely to get a karate chop if I attempt that! You would be most welcome ( bring a warm coat as our hosts aren't keen on heating the room). I'm happy to go with you to Aylesbury if you want also.

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Agreed , I'm not looking to punish myself but my thinking is this. If I'm 4,5,6 years old and I do one thing one day and I get a great reaction from my parent, I will then repeat that thing expecting the same result. When I don't get it because mum or dad have had a bad day at the slots/horses/roulette its gunna confuse the sh#t out of me. I'm going to get anxious over who I am and how I'm supposed to be. I cant just be me, I turn into what I think the people I love want me to be.

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I'm trying to think up a reply involving cruciferous vegetables, but it can't be done! Whether you eat your greens or not, you're doing well. If that feeling keeps nagging why not listen to it? What have you got to lose? You'll be welcomed with opened arms....what ever was Dan thinking mentioning hugs??!!

LB x

Disclaimer granted & if I don't have you back in bed by 12 I promise you can go home;-). But seriously I'm stupidly happy that you are going to come along. Monday's are quite chilled, people just generally having a chat about issues that have occurred that week or ongoing problems. Thursdays are step based & quite intense, so probably a better introduction is a Monday. The address is The Raven Centre, Hare Lane, Gloucester, GL1 2BB. Really looking forward to meeting you Kelly x

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Hi,

Thank you for your post and advice on my diary. For some reason my gambling urges happen on a 4 week cycle ( no jokes required!!!).

I have thought of the karate chop but might look silly walking down the street chopping everything in my way.

Have to put the grey matter to further think about that one.

Best wishes

Ahoy there! Hope all good with you?! Thanks for your support, stay clear of them lottery tickets !!!!!! w*f indeed and ur not alone

Dear ODAAT,

Many thanks for your lovely post. It really cheered me. You speak the truth as ever (although I am no one to judge). Amazing how many people are posting on your thread to say thank you. Says a lot about the type of person you are!xxx

Morning ODAAT, Sorry hun didn't realise you were also on the train home ? If I'd known that I'd have made sure my ear hair had been trimmed as well , just for you of course !

OOh ! I feel really embarrased now ! LOL

Have a great day hun x

Are you still coming along next Monday?

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Hiya Kelly , do you want me to call you that or stick to your old " handel " , to use a CB phrase ?.

Anyway thanks again for the post and really sorry you had a shiiiiiity day at work but am also over the moon that you had no thoughts of running after the big "G" today , or loitering with intent around the nearest supermarket carpark as I believe thats your thing these day's ?. It's strange though , that when we go through a rough patch how the emotions start to flow again , usually happens with me and a film nowaday's . Watched one the other night called "Wild " I think ? with Reese Witherspoon , wow ! got me sobbing like a baby , funny in parts but quite deep in others .

Do you know that there's some really great people on here and your very much included in that last statement I might add !.

Whenever we have "issues" along this journey of ours , or feelings that we can't understand or deal with in a rational manner , somebody pop's along with a view ,or a chunk of advice and things seem to just fall into place again !.

Now because I've got this off my chest , I feel great again , just like the first time I came along here and realised I wasn't alone with my addiction , I also realise that I'm not alone in with my feelings that we all seem to share as well !.

I hope you have a better day tommorow ODAAT !, so it's a big 10/10 till we do it again !. Sorry ! No idea where all this CB jargon is coming from , must have fallen to sleep with Convoy playing in the background ?. x

I would just like to say thank you for posting this. It has opened my eyes up to what I need to do. Explaining that the OH doesn't understand is my biggest thing. Getting married in 240 days. Hope to be 240 days gamble free then .

Not sure that an exploding head will look too good on my selfies....oh, hang on. I don't take them!

I think the child needs attention and the way to get it is by excelling. I wouldn't mind as much if it was balanced out with a bit of honesty about the stuff she's not so great at but I only seem to hear the rose coloured version (actually that's probably gold coloured as she's always at the top of the podium).

I'm more bothered by my internal reaction to it and me being me (with my tendency to over analyse) starts questioning why it bothers me so much. Anyway, it no longer matters. Thanks to Balvaird I now have the answer....next time, I'll just smile and say "that's nice" 🙂 🙂

LB x

Hi,

Thanks for dropping by my diary earlier. You also made me laugh with the "trout pout" saying. Might have to use that in the future.

Breathing easier now. My mum would call me a bull in a China shop sometimes but as you say no one ever admits anything at work despite lots of noise being made.

Keep up the good work

Best wishes