My Diary of Shame

ODAAT wrote:

Evening Mrs D, only me...I've missed you my friend! Apologies but the sleep monster has been crushing the life out of me & I just haven't had the energy to come by & say Hi but I must coz I have important news!

Mr Gamble slithered out from whence he had been skulking @ the weekend & suggested he could find a reason to get me out of bed...Result! & I took full advantage of his hospitality, got up & promptly took him shopping 🙂 Still only managed about 10-12 hours but given than I'd been properly 'awake' for about 6 on the 2 days before, in total, I chalked that up as a win! I think he unnerved me though...I quite like knowing where he is but I can do without his sodding brainwaves ruining my peace.

According to my Sleep App, I had 6 hours of 55% sleep quality the night before I went back to work which basically means I was so mullered I felt the need to pay £6.70 to park instead of walking a few hundred yards to the station. Tiny Tears spent the morning with me so I took her to a 'meeting' with me to demand an OH referral! Shocked was an understatement, though considering tt had accompanied me to 2 previous meetings with a different manager where I hadn't been quite so demanding, I can't quite figure out why? I'm left wondering whether in the history of OH, I am the 1st & only person to actually want them interfering in my life? Bizarrely one of the terms I had to agree to was going back to see my GP for a second opinion & to 'not take no for an answer'! Quite why I would a) tell a GP how to do their job or b) be asking for counselling on the already strapped NHS services was a little beyond me but appointment booked & the receptionist said I can cancel it once I have my phone consultation with my OH...They're kindly allowing me a lie-in & not phoning until 1030!

So that's my news...This time next week, I shall be sleeping like a log & resuming some of my marital duties (before we run out of clean clothes - may even consider some of that extreme ironing manup has got us all riled up about) but probably still won't be energised enough to walk the mutt 🙂 Tipu tapu (baby steps) right...No point running before I can walk!

So see you next Friday Mrs D - Sleep tite (don't let the bed bugs bite) - ODAAT (but not all day & all night!)

Great post thanks ODAAT.

Love your passion!!

ahoy there, just dropping in to say hello! And to thank for you the hard cover idea on phone, i got one after paying Mr Apple 99 quid to fix my shattered screen 🙁 ! Keep doing what ur doing, take care

Hello ODAAT

Thank you very much for your post. It really gave me a boost just when I needed it last week.

Powerful posting.

Your last post seemed to imply that an update was on its way Friday.

How did your week go?

How have you been?

Brightest blessings

Glint

Apols Mrs D I've been feeling sorry for myself/too lazy to update!

So, it's official...I'm depressed! The Doc didn't actually say "I told you so" but I could see it in his eyes...Bloody Tiny Tears! I protested my innocence but he won me over with the explanation that the symptoms are the same as depression so let's treat them, come back in 2 weeks & see me again...How could I argue with that 🙁 I was warned about a very extensive list of side effects (not usually one for reading instructions but the piece of paper inside the box folded out to the size of a broadsheet, front & back, & there wasn't a picture to be seen) which worried me sufficiently that I decided to discuss them with the NM first! Apparently, "You can't miss what you don't have!" (the not so important marital duties - note, no exclamation marks) & "All you do is sleep anyway!" (Err, cheers!) So I popped the 1st one Friday morning & aside from a bit of nausea, some shakes & absolutely no sleep whatsoever, things are looking up 🙂 Feels like a plate of glass in my head has been cleaned, without me even realising it was dirty! Everything is in super sharp technicolor & whilst I'm not sure whether it's going to help with the sleeping, I only have 3 more shifts til the bolt hole where a few days of R&R might be just what the doctor ordered 🙂

Ooo, plus I got given a cancellation & start counselling tomorrow!

Junnieee, those pills will take a few weeks before they start working:) the good news is you are doing something about it, and your NM, (like mine) I know will support you all the way through, you will be ok, you will,

On a lighter note, thank goodness you are not in Cornwall today, the weather is atrocious there, but it is going to calm down, and so will you, my friend, keep pushing forwards, as dear coo coo says the world is our oyster, keep believing and then believing again.

No Xxxs honest,

Ok maybe one,

S X

Yey!! Not yey to the depression (obviously) but yey things are starting to happen that might help with those tiny tears. I know you haven't wanted to see it...and you may well be right that you don't need it..but an open mind like yours to the possibilities of help and the glass is already looking clearer. Good for you...and good luck for the counselling (not sure if that's meant for you or the counsellor!!)

Have fun at the bolt hole.

LB x

ODAAT,

Are you sure your not going to feel guily with the poor old councillor. The Odaat whirlwind hitting the therapy settee.........

Good on you! sometimes we need help in cleaning them plates of glass.....

Thank you for the update.

Looking at your profile you seemed quiet last week.

Totally understandable, you need to be looking after yourself.

Wanted to make sure you were safe and had not been in an accident involving grappling hooks and an ironing board.

Glad to read that the medication seems to be having a positive impact already.

Wishing you well with the counselling today.

Glint

Here's your runner up prize Odaat..even though i agree with your Mah and you didnt deserve a Mcdonalds

https://youtu.be/xM_mJmqqhDM

The suns shining in Odaats world..

Hi ODAAT, just logged in for the first time in months to find your 'flyby' posts.
Recovery continues for me. I am well and hope you are too. Best wishes. John

Arrggghhhhh...Sh17, just stepped into the mirrored lift @ work & thought I'd bought my Mum to work :-0 Turns out it's me, looking every one of my 43 years & then some but I am grateful for small mercies, no flowery dress so I've not turned into my Nan yet 🙂 I'm not entirely convinced that the drugs don't work but after hugging the loo for only the 5th time in my life today I'm not exactly the fan I was 2 days ago! I am however grateful for small mercies, I did manage some proper sleep & I'm only on 8 hour days so I've escaped for the night 🙂 "Don't treat me like I'm ill!" I insist as I skip out of the door 😉

The counsellor was about as much use as a f**t in a wetsuit, reckons all I need to do is get myself a routine! When I pointed out I was a shift worker, she suggested just getting one for when I was on my days off. Didn't have a clue when I tried to explain the sleep paralysis & had no idea what a shift disorder was but pointed out that many of her clients report feeling 'tired'! She had to concede that no-one had ever come to her just for tiredness as she asked questions about my childhood & pointed out that other people may not have shown the resilience I appear to have shown. I told her about my addiction & that these childhood concerns had been raised on here so I'd given them a lot of thought & wasn't adversely affected by them so she suggested that perhaps I just wasn't ready for counselling yet. Lucky me, if I wanted to, I could still go & chat to her for 6 sessions! I don't know what I was expecting but I'm pretty sure it wasn't a quick dig around for skeletons & in the absence of anything apparent what can only be described as a brush off. So much for specialist counsellors 🙁

Never fear, I am not beaten...The sleep monster may be determined & strong but I've kicked Mr G in the nuts so don't underestimate me 🙂

Hi, ODAAT,

Hope you feel better sooner rather than later. re counselling, it works a whole lot better with the right person who gets where you're coming from, but it's not a miracle cure. You still have to bring about whatever changes are needed yourself and it certainly doesn't change the behaviour of other people who affect you. Sadly. Did you ever try GC counselling?

BW,

CW

Just a quick one. Ask the chemist if there's some anti-emetics you could take that work with the happy tabs...Domperidone is good but check and see what they suggest. The nausea should wear off after a while but no point puckering up against the porcelain any more than is necessary.

"talk" about the counselling later....chocolate and teapots springs to mind.

LB x

BElieve in YOUrself.

Read that line earlier and thought i would share.........

chocolate, teapots and pretty lamps are the b.s of councelling. Cracked walls and two chairs rock ok!!

Hi there young'n , how you doing ? Heard you'd been talking with him up high on the big porcelain telephone ! Kinda takes me back 25 years , mind bending drugs then feeling ill , LOL! Yep , still chuckling at my own jokes ! . Anyway just wanted to pop over ( see what I did then , pop over ) and let you know that I'm thinking of you , I'm not clever enough to comment on the med's side of things , so prob best not to given my track record on here and I really can't deal with any more desciple's coming down hard on me ! . So just take care of yourself and look forward to talking again soon . Pop's ( old duffer ) ! X