My FOBT recovery

John

as i wrote fella you have to find a recovery path that works for you.

This forum contains all the same wonderful advice the GA room does,they both share a common theme,they only work if the person wants them to.

i have written here many times,the want to continue arresting that fateful next punt has to outweigh addictions want to get you in the mindset to wage it.

there is no right or wrong way to go about it,it is only the outcome that's relivent.

the statistics for continued abstinence un my GA room is 3 out of every 100 folk who walk through the doors abstain for a calendar year,so on those grounds it is not a provider of the 'guarenteed' cure,like here there is constant work to be done,room for improvement.

together we can superseed those frightening statistics,that being my only goal.

find a way to keep gifting yourself,share it.

We are stronger in unity,I see gabmling addiction as the great leveller,it is not prejudice,it takes everyones money in the same selfish regard.

50up for you today.

enjoy it.

abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Congratulations on your 1st half century 🙂

If it helps, I am a few days ahead of you & haven't had counselling! I had hypnosis years ago & was told that they couldn't do anything that I didn't want to do so the crux of recovery is wanting it bad enough!

You can do this - ODAAT

Well done John. 50 days is a BIG achievement. Keep doing what you're doing.

Mark

Well done John 50 days is a great milestone to reach,

Onwards and upwards

Suzanne xx

Many thanks to each and every one of you , I am now on day 51.

I realise like a lot of people have told me you have to want it enough to stop , in the past I haven't been prepared to let go of certain aspects of gambling and hoped if I cut out the main causes it would help but total abstinence is the only way forward for me personally.

When I have attempted recovery before people wrote you have to want to stop gambling to make this work , I often toyed with the phrase and idea and wondered what it really meant , however the truth was in the past I only wanted to stop losing money , if I was winning I would carry on gambling for life , the harsh reality was gambling for me meant I lost money at the wrong times , by that I mean I lost money that I would need to do something important with and the times I won money I already had a pocketful anyway , when I won big I wanted more , when I lost big I chased until the cupboard was bare.

I realise my high pressure job led me to gamble a lot and other forms of upset in my life meant I was always led to the machines or horses even sometimes cartoon racing , I have now found different ways to deal with that , if things get on top of me now , I smply switch off for an hour and go for a run with the music on loud , clear my head and start again.

Recovery gifted me a different way to deal with my problems , one which doesnt cost any money "unless like me you fall flat on the floor and smash your ipod while running" and I am now closing in on my 35th birthday.

I have probably gambled since I was 13 years old on the fruit machines "possibly earlier" that was the enviroment I grew up in , evenings with my grandma and parents at the working mens club and the flashing lights when I was given £1 and a chance to press the buttons and win some money but looking back that was a slippery slope.

My two year old boy whenever we are out or at parties will go rushing to the fruit machine to press the buttons , inside part of me feels sick to think he could grow up and be stuck with the horrible disease , my recovery is aided by the fact I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy and the thought of my son having to go through the hell im going through now means I will keep him well away from these machines and some day I will sit down and tell him my story from the start , he might not thank me for such a story but im hoping it will be hard hitting enough for him to stay well clear of gambling.

For me recovery will be done by myself and my own want and need to put the gambling chapter of my life behind me , I hope one day gamcare allows a members meeting so I can thank each and everyone of you personally for the support I receive on a daily basis.

Day 52.

Looking at other ways to occupy the mind , I might need to take up reading.

John,

Just been reading Allan Carrs the easy way to stop gambling. Almost read it all in one go (90 mins) but got some to finish off tomorrow...

all I can say is its well worth buying. I know you're from Bradford. Pop down to Waterstones in town and get it, its seriously put me in a whole new mindset.

Willpower theory makes total sense. Once you understand that abstaining from gambling doesnt involve 'giving up something good' then theres no reason to require willpower.

Cracking post this morning 🙂

I never wanted to give up gambling (just give up losing like you say) but finding out the only way to beat it was to stop has been the best thing to happen to me! I've used these sites like people use GA & I credit finding myself to the wonderful 'friends' I have made here!

Your life is right there is front of you, just waiting for you to really start enjoying it - ODAAT

Day 53.

I am going to order a book today written by a bloke who was a self made millionaire but then lost the lot through gambling , I read on here people saying it doesnt matter how much you earn you will always lose it.

You gamble within your earnings or what money you can get your hands on at times , when I didn't earn very much I still found ways to blow the lot within the first weekend of pay day , a day out at the pub often led to throwing pound after pound in fruit machines , football betting and horses and the Saturday pub environment is very much a gambling hot bed with horses on one tv screen and the football on another.

I found in later life when I earned more money I would raise the stakes always with the same result , granted inbetween losses there would always be a few wins which put you on cloud nine , showered everyone with drinks and presents but then the week after you would lose it all.

The endless vicious cycle of winning and losing basically chasing the same goals each week is awful , your mind seems focused on nothing else but your next gamble.

I can honestly say I have seen first hand what gambling can do to you.

Ive seen a bloke from work take his own life because gambling he said had beat him , that should have been enough for me to stop because at one stage I wasn't far behind him.

The weekly visits to ebay to sell anything and everything for your next big gamble that would solve everything.

Buying and selling just to make ends meet , carboot sales in the freezing cold.

I remember when I lived on my own I did a carboot sale one Sunday when money was really tight , made a decent amount of money enough to get by comfortably until some decent money came in , within hours of the car boot finishing I had been to the pub and blown the lot in the roulette.

For me I can never win because I have no control over myself when I start , it is doubtful any gambler on here does have that self control which is why they came here in the first place.

Hopefully I have reached a major turning point in my life , at 35 I feel angry I didn't reach this turning point sooner because I swore when my little boy was born it would be no more so the journey of recovery I am on right now is vital for my future , the fear of slipping should keep me on the right path.

The alarming thing at the moment is the amount of new members coming in by the minute with the same problems , it will only get higher due to the shear amount of fobts in the shops and the fact they can open until all hours even on the "day of rest Sunday"

Great post John,

And well done on 53 days of winning.

Suzanne xx

Day 54 and Saturday.

For me Saturday was always the main gambling day , horses on the TV and various football combinations trying to work out which teams would make me rich.

The truth for me was I spent hours / days / month / years of my life not finding the winning combination instead throwing betting slips at the tv when my horses lost and in more recent times with the introduction of online betting just cursing my phone and chasing my losses , it was always late in the day when all my horses and football bets would lose I would bet bigger and sometimes win back the days losses , it felt like victory when I won back my losses , the truth is I had just wasted my afternoon and was no better off for it , I could never win because I could never stop.

Today my other half is shopping for our wedding stuff and I will take the boy out for an adventure day with Daddy , the smile on his face and the bond we have had since I started spending more time with him is truly amazing , you dont realise the life gabling will take from you until your in recovery , recovery for me shows a different meaning to life , a whole new purpose , yes ive had good times in life whilst gambling but the majority have been sad times which only result in financial worry , stress and illness not to mention the endless lies.

The truth is now I want to keep this life the way it is and the only way that can happen is being gamble free , 54 days and counting but for me the hardest days still lay ahead.

Hi John,

Well done on 54 days of winning.

Great positive post, have a lovely day with your son,

Suzanne xx

Day 55 Sunday.

Moved half of the house into storage today , will be moving very soon.

I gathered if we did the move into storage over 3 Sunday's then it would make things less stressful and so much easier when we find our new house.

The business I run is under real pressure at the moment and with the bailiffs calling last week even though my business isnt registered at home I feel so much better now my valuables are away from the house.

Very stressful with the bailiffs few bad debts this year from other customers and literally dont have the money to pay them , business debt line so dont answer the door and keep calm.

However tonight I can sleep a little better , onto next week.

Day 57 , what a wonderful day to be alive.

Work is pretty grim at the moment and not much money coming in , that would usually lead me to gamble to try and win a few hundred and keep the wolf from the door , however I have accepted that there are good and bad times especially when running a business.

It doesn't help at the moment that the wedding is at the end of May and although we have enough it would be nice if I could get a few decent jobs through work to make the last month before the wedding a bit less stressful.

My other half isn't working at the moment so the whole house and running the show falls on my shoulders at the moment , she hadn't been paying the gas or electric before she lost her job and we now have the expensive metred gas/electric which means even on a normal week we are spending £70.00 on fuel.

I used to use gambling to escape my everyday life , the truth of the matter is our financial situation is very stressed because I cannot predict how much I will make in a month and slowly eating into our savings , unfortunately the other half is showing no sign of going back to work and a few harsh words from me yesterday caused a massive row , I guess for her the truth hurts but I had to be firm to get my point across that I am fed up of her seeming lazy ways and something had to be done.

I realise through all this and being in recovery my resolve not to gamble is growing stronger , I want the best for my family , that can only be done by not gambling , but at the same time I need something to give from my other half.

Onwards I go , I am 35 on Sunday which marks 62 days of non gambling if I continue two full calender months , my biggest birthday present anyone could ever give me.

Hi John,

Thanks for your lovely message, and look at you on 57 days of winning, well done and a good positive post

Stay strong and keep moving forwards

Suzanne xx