My FOBT recovery

Hi John,

Well done on not gambling and when intoxicated, (lol,) it shows you are getting stronger and more determined.

35 days of winning, keep going and stay strong.

Suzanne xx

Thanks Suzanne,

Saturday was definately a huge test I knew I had no will power to stay out so was best I took myself home , a small price to pay to keep up my recovery , it suddenly dawned on me though I am stuck with this addiction for life and one slip leads me back to square one x

Day 36.

Overnight trip to watch phoenix nights live was excellent , no thoughts or urges today which is good the trip away took my mind off other things.

Day 37.

Feeling good today no thoughts , urges and nothing really to report.

Going to offer support to first time people on here try and point them in the right direction.

Day 38.

Nothing to report , no urges and going strong.

Day 42.

More hurdles overcome and more urges beaten.

It seems when I have time on my minds especially on a weekend I get the urge to gamble , I now get the little boys trike and take him on a long walk , we both enjoy it , no phones , no tv and no gambling.

Congratulations on 6 weeks & finding much more rewarding ways of spending your time 🙂

You just made me laugh as I have visions of you on the trike & your boy walking alongside 😉 These are the days your lad will remember & you cannot put a price on them!

Keep @ it - ODAAT

Thanks Odaat , it isn't easy but now being on day 43 I feel a lot happier.

Unfrotunately I have other things going on in my life which take the shine of my non gambling , just wondering what steps I take next , do I consider couselling or go to ga or just carry on like I am.

John

Fella my life was gifted the opportunity of change through my embracing recovery, from it I was able to strip off the layers to find the real me inside, counselling, cbt, consulting my gp, GA and this forum have all been tools I have used.

When I first entered recovery my mind was souly focused on abstinence, the reason I let addiction back in after 18 months for those few hours was for me simply because I had not sought to use recovery to make changes in my life.

After that event, the last punt I had the 31/10/2013 I knew I had to make those life changes, to peel off the layers.

Today recovery, or ongoing recovery is for me about constantly addressing the issues life throws my way rather than running from them.

Abstinence is the platform to build life upon.

Yesterday someone wrote on their thread that after returning to gambling eventually the house of card's their life was rested uponcame ttumbling down, I can relate strongly to that phrase, all through my own gambling life I had no foundations to build upon.

Recovery gifts you solid ground.

Build on your abstinence, it's a great foundation and of your own making.

Embrace it, most of all my friend enjoy it.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Very wise words Duncan , it is now day 44 and very much a very difficult journey.

I know on my journey I will return to this forum on a daily basis and I will support the first time people on here and try and give them the pointers I was given when I came here in my darkest of hours.

I can't give you advice on where to go next as I have no experience of any of them but I can drop by to say Hi & offer my support so here I am!

Until you figure out what to try next, keep working @ recovery - ODAAT

Thanks Odaat day 45 now must admit did have a few urges at football last night but managed to fight them off.

I guess the thing would be is I have been here before many many times , I know I am doing well but do I try and seek help from a professional , go to meetings and or other help to try and recover.

Im thinking although im on the road to recovery do I need extra help to keep me on the right path or is willpower alone enough , I also have to think am I foolish enough to believe willpower along is enough.

Quite deep I know.

Well done on 45 days John.
For me willpower alone was never enough to keep me away long term & i think you know in your heart thats not going to work for you either.

Why not try GA? Give it 90 days i can guarantee you will be in a better place to tackle the rest of your life.
If you have any reservations or worries about attending a meeting please feel free to ask.

Dan

John.

Fella there is no right or wrong way to go about living life in harmony with addiction, you have to find a way that works for you.

Without doubt there are reason's in my mind why we gamble, those reasons have to be addressed.

Addiction will lay happily dormant until it see's an opening, then boom it will take control of the brain again.

Recovery is for me about shutting the doors that addiction will seek to open.

The fact you're talking about issues is therapy in itself.

Day@atime is proof that the GA room is a powerful place, as for me is this forum, but for the two to work they share a common theme.

You have to want, have a greater desire not to place that all important next punt than addiction wants you to place one.

To end I think we have self gifted ourselves something special by making a choice.

It doesn't make us special or better or more deserving than the next man, but in my mind it makes us equal.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Day 49.

Thanks Dunc, I think this time around in my recovery I am doing it my way , taking advise but at the end of the day it needs to be me who wants to stop and only I can control by destiny regardless of what any group or counseller says , to be honest 49 days is a huge figure for me to reach , but something inside clicked when I hit rock bottom and it made me look at my life and get a grip of what is important.

Maybe I am foolish to think I can get through this without the help of ga or couselling but I know for me ga in my hometown is placed in the worst , roughest part of town which would make me feel very uneasy and again the gamcare counselling is in a strange part of town and certainly not one you would feel comfortable about.

I also have to say I did find the gamcare counselling very frustrating almost annoying and very patronising , it might work for some just not for me.

Who knows where the journey of non gambling will take me , what I do know is we are nearly a quarter of the way through the year and I havent gambled.

Onwards and upwards.