My FOBT recovery

Day 99 - back from a wonderful few days away with the family at the seaside , was considering not staying over but then realised I would have found the money had it been gambling , a few days away should be top of my list.

Passed a lot of the old bookies I used to go in on holiday , non id self excluded from but sadly it wasn't the pensioners putting there horse bets on this weekend , a mixture of people from outside the country surounding every fobt you can imagine.

A sobering thought that the industry is changing from your horse and football book maker to a full on live casino , even Sunday after 7pm the bookies are still open hoping the drunken ones fall in and lose there hard earned.

Tomorrow morning when I wake up will mark 100 whole days since my last bet , success and my biggest victory yet in my road to recovery and a better life.

Way to go John, biggest victory yet, and by staying in recovery there will be plenty more to come.

Just saw those 99 balloons sail by HD.

Suzanne xxx

Big congratulations on reaching triple figures John
I can see youve struggled lately but its good to see that you know that you cant return to how things were.
Hopefully the longer we all stay gamble free the less we will think about doing what we used to do.

Mark

Morning & a huge welcome to Club 100 🙂

Glad you had a lovely time @ the seaside & here's to many more nights of staying over now you're not chucking your hard earned away 🙂

Keep winning - ODAAT

A massive well done to you John on reaching this milestone, 100 days, great achievement.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks everyone means the world to me today to reach 100.

Work is pretty quiet with easter so had most of the day with my boy in a few local parks , walking home pushing his trike I realised I had everything and more right before my eyes.

This last month especially we have formed a real bond and I realise rather than trying to buy him everything under the sun money can buy what he wants most is me and my time , pushing round the park , the occasional swing and slide and ice creams creams to finish the day off.

Day 103.

Today is the day gambling is rubbed in your faces left right and centre with the donkey derby or what most people called the "grand national" , there is nothing "grand" about this race and back in the early 90s was a reason I was pushed deeper into gambking when Minnehomma ridden by Dunwoody won the race , I was only 12 at the time and had all my pocket money on the horse , it won at 20/1 little did I know that day it would take me until I was 35 to wake up and smell the coffee and whilst it might have bought me a new toy or two back in the day , gambling took some of the best years of my life.

At day 103 there is no way you will ever get me back there recovery for me is the only way , if I struggle with urges I drive to the park with my boy , go for a long walk or just generally do something nice for me or the family.

My biggest victory today is 103 days not out I need to do something out of the house and away from televisions today basically I dont want my nose rubbed in the grand national hype.

John

Fella a belated congratulations on your joining the 100 club, one hundred days without the self created misery that gambling brings to the table.

Funny you write about the 'national' today, a day in my own childhood that my own compulsive gambling father refused to participate in, why??

Because my father said the national was nothing more than a lottery, something that was ingrained in my mind at an early age.

For me john there will always be the opportunity to gamble presented to us, the juggernaut that is the gambling industry has invaded most sporting events and other events to boot.

Take heart of the very unique position you have gifted yourself

You john win today just as you did yesterday

The stake? Not a single penny, you like me win with the mindset you have chosen.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Thanks for dropping by on my diary the other day for some reason I could find yours to say thanks but I'm here now!

Wonderful to hear your little man reaping the rewards of your recovery too! I had too many things as a child & the only person I really loved was the one who gave me time!

Keep busy as you plan & this weekend will pass before you know it! Stay strong - ODAAT

Day 107.

Thanks everyone for your support it means a lot to know others are with me on the journey.

So Saturday I watched the Grand National and enjoyed it , it was the first time in my recovery I sat down properly to watch a horse race , on Sunday I was asked by a lot of people what I had backed in the national and my reply was I didn't have a bet.

People found it unbelievable that I had not had a small wager , for me the biggest victory was another day on the recovery chart and the fact I enjoyed the race without the need for a bet.

I understand in my own mind it would need to be a rare occasion if any to watch such a sport again and I know deep down it was possibly wrong to watch the race , I am being hard on myself but I need to do that to keep myself in check and ensure without any doubt I do not relapse.

I get married in less than 7 weeks and a relapse now would be disasterous.

Hi,

Find a lot of what I've read inspirational and fair play for sticking to your goals. FOBT's have been the scourge of my life for years although in the last year I've noticed a marked increase in my losses. I've realised that I simply can't play them anymore because when I do im like a shark in a feeding frenzy. I've blown thousands over the years. I've always liked a gamble and would've been a fairly controlled punter, however the FOBT's have turned me into a gambling wreck. When I lose big I can't sleep, focus, I'm irritable and can't settle. I get angry with myself for being so stupid and I feel intense remorse and regret for what I've lost. I have about £8000 in debt but I have a well paid job AND if I can stay on the straight and narrow could clear that fairly promptly. I've lied about what I've been doing and made and broke promises to change. I do however want to stop and want to reclaim my life. Coping with the guilt and regret is my main problem. Any advice would be brilliant as clearly people on here are conquering this day by day!

Husky.... here is my advise on how I dealt with it , however it took me a long time to get to this point.

Close each and every betting account you had/have , if you a fortunate enough like I was to hold accounts with all the big high street bookies I self excluded for life with them all , any shop I ever went in locally or felt comfortable in , all closed , I found in the past when I attempted to recover I still found a bookie who would take my bet , the main thing with the fobt is taking every local location and online out of arms reach.

I was always a compulsive gambler but the fobt ruined me and huge parts of my life especially in recent years , I swore after my boy was born never again but kept feeding my hard earned down the drain.

The reality was if I hadn't stopped I would have lost the lot , I remember one night early in my recovery going into my sons room "he is two" and sat watching him sleep for hours on end literally tears running down my face , uncontrolable , shaking with fear knowing how close I was to losing him and my partner through gambling , since then and after closing everything to do with gambling the fear of letting them down is carrying me through , 108 days today , 108 days of victory for me , for me I am very happy , for my son who now gets more of my time not to mention more things and a better quality of life and for my partner who for years watched the up's and down's of my gambling.

Yes we had good times gambling / winning and going away with the so called winnings , in truth I hadn't won anything just recouped one of many losses , the amount of bad , awful , sleepless nights after blowing thousands and then having to sell my wordly goods to get me through the month , the bad times were endless , simply my body could take no more of what I had put it through and last December drove me to new lows which meant taking my own life even crossed my mind.

Please Husky accept the money is gone , you sound like me mate you earn a good wage , your not reliant on winning , simply like me the fobt took over you mind , body and soul , I consider myself a pretty clever guy run my own business and make some tough decisions , my work and business have also improved since I stopped gambling.

If I can help you in anyway I will , feel free to ask away im here to help every day.

John

It's good to hear that you are still on the straight and narrow especially as your story sounds very close to home for me. I absolutely hate what the FOBT's have done to me mentally and physically. The time and money I have wasted over the years. I have had a few bad beats in the last while and they generally have led to periods of abstinence but eventually I succumb to temptation. I'm hoping this time can be different. I have a very young family (3 boys) and to date my wastefulness gambling hasn't impacted financially on them or my partner, although the lows I have experienced through gambling has certainly. Im going to get back training as I've a very addictive personality and when channelled properly I can achieve good results. I've ran a few marathons, played football professionally and used to look after myself. Gambling consumed me for so long that it would be nice to get a bit of focus back into my life, especially what is important. Thanks for the advice and keep up the good work. Hopefully I can achieve what you have and see the light at the end of the tunnel!

There is light at the end of the tunnel , but like I say the secret this time is all my betting accounts are closed , make sure you are true to yourself and close all lines of betting down too.

Hi John, I read the 1st and your last page and take it from the last page you went off having a bet on the horses and football now aswell as the FOBT.

From your opening post we have similar stories. Im off the FOBT, Fruit,Poker Machines, Real and Online Casino. 7 days its only been but Im also still having a few bets on football. I can control that side off it, well I hope, all good so far. FOBT's just got me somehow. I also lost a friend to FOBT's and somehow that still didn't stop me from playing them,.

100+ Days is some achivement. Well done.