My FOBT recovery

Thanks Dunc & Sonic.

Ive booked a weekend away at the seaside , the weather is awful but all I want this weekend is time with my little boy and wife to be nothing else matters.

Each day I feel stronger and I agree Dunc gambling bear me time and time again , yes ive been luckly in recent months and took some of my money back but I am under no illusions the gambling industry is looking to cash in on people just like me and keep tempting me until I break.

I will be looking at ways on Monday I can block gambling completely from the house , any phones , computers everything its beaten me for so long I now need to focus on my journey probably a little happier knowing some of my losses were won back and reading the horrific stories on here I realise that if i dont stop now I will be the man who loses everything too.

Hi John, how have the last few weeks been?

Not too good , backing horses , football , dogs even cartoon racing.

The odd slip on the roulette not very well.

I keep thinking about GA but dont know what is stopping me.

C'mon John,

You were doing brilliantly before you slipped, you can do so again!

Instead of just thinking about GA, give it a go, what do you have to lose? As you know if you carry on down this road of destination, you have a whole amazing life to lose & you cannot do that to you or them.

Suck it up & give GA a call or speak to someone here & see if they can arrange some counselling. You can do this - ODAAT

Oops, typo, destination should have been destruction!

Hi John,

I know you enjoy lottery and other sorts of gambling but I can't help think they have a negative effect on your attempts to quit.

I often think would the world really be that much of a worse place if there was no gambling permitted at all?

I'm sure if you decide to knock the gambling altogether on the head then you'll start enjoying some of the simple pleasures in life rather than chasing a high and feeling a sense of acheivement by picking the right horse or football match.

I've only been off gambling ten days but had my first night out last night, I hadn't realised how antisocial I had become whilst I was gambling. I would struggle to hold down a conversation, be checking results, even sneak off into the toilets to play BJ or Roulette on my phone. Yesterday I felt like I was having real conversations with people and the beer tasted better. I paid for my bottle of beer and got £1.40 change and normally I'd be looking round for a bandit to throw it in. Woke up with it this morning and paid for a well needed sausage butty!

It's the small things for me, gambling was my life, now I'm finding a new, better life is out there.

I think at the moment I have been so close to winning the "big one" it woke up the very old compulsive gambler in me which is a big worry , I know personally the gamcare one to one local couselling isnt for me and just didn't get on with the lady who was running the sessions , I know she is only trying to help but could only compare her to someone like Katie Hopkins.

I read different stories about GA and know the one closest to me in Bradford is in the worst part of town possible , not a day goes by without someone suffering some form of fight / a****t etc so for me having being attacked in a similar area when I was younger this just isn't an option for me , if it was in a different location I know I would probably have gone , however I have a young family and getting out for two hours on a Friday night is near on impossible.

I honestly dont know where to turn next , I started off yesterday morning betting on cartoon horse racing won a few quid was happy , carried on later in the day and lose the lot , racing had finished so went on the roulette , £350.00 later I was chasing chasing chasing , annoyed , up tight the demon had woken up.

Some how all the lights started flashing on the bonus roulette table and id won over £1000 , I cashed out and the money will be in my bank today , enough for christmas and presents for everyone.

The real problem I have at the moment despite everything is I dont want to stop , even winning all that momney yesterday I ask myself how much would I have to win to be satisfied and the answer is I will never win enough to be satisfied unless I won the lottery , but suspect even with a lottery win id find a way to fritter it away.

My next port of call is hypnosis , £70.00 for 3 sessions.

I told the doctor of my problems but the queue for proper help is over a year , this last few years especially the fobt is quickly ruining people at an alarming rate and the need for help is greater than ever.

Only I can help myself just need some pointers to help me in the right direction.

Hi John,

I honestly believe no matter how much we win, it will never be enough, because we cannot stop,

I have won 1000s and then lost 10000s over 8 years, it did not matter how much I won I had to play it.

At the end of the day, it's not even about the money, it's the horrendous addiction, that takes over 100% and that then leads to nothing but misery and desperation, it does not stop until it has self destructed us.

Use that money for Xmas and enjoy your Xmas,

There is a triangle on this forum.

Time

Money

Location

Take one of these away and it's impossible to play that has really helped me to stay clean for nearly 8 months

you are totally correct in saying only YOU can help yourself and you can if you really want to.

Well done for coming to this forum, it's hard to even admit to ourselves we have a problem

I wish you the very best on your recovery. Keep posting it helps.

We cannot win because we cannot stop, and nothing changes. If nothing changes, remember these thoughts and stay strong, and you will win for Xmas,

Best wishes

Suzanne x

John,

I will never be recovered because I am a compulsive gambler but I am recovering & I am doing it without GA or other professional help. I started with a handwritten diary (because the only site I could find was an American one that I couldn't write on), handed over my finances to my partner & read like mad because hearing other people in the same terrible mess as me fixing things was incredible. I feel guilty that my gambling has helped fund the increase in gambling establishments & dragged others into this pit & I will not do that to anyone else!

As Suzanne said, you need to break the triangle, GA & counsellors can give you guidance on how to but only you can physically do it & you can - ODAAT

Hi John,

Sorry to hear your struggling lately.

If im honest I too also dont want to stop gambling -only to stop what was causing me so much hassle and stress [fobt's]. It sounds like you struggle with ALL types of gambling.

I honestly think the first week or two will be the hardest for you but once you get in that mindset that you dont NEED all the stress that comes with what you do I think your resolve will increase every day.

Keep posting .. I hope its helping you.

I know it needs to change sonic , again last night had a few bets on the football and everything went against me ended up losing £130.00 , before bed I came up to the computer and ended up on the bonus roulette , within the space of the football finishing at 9.45 to 10.45 I had turned over an alarming £1600.00 and the problem was I showed no sign of stopping , my whole body shaking going through every emotion , trying to think about my 2 year old boy , my partner but still I went on and on.

Suddenly last night I managed to get a repeat bonus , x2 then again x12 , then again x100 and I couldnt quite believe my eyes again x250 , I was two number away from 1/4 million and over £5000.00 in pocket.

I was literally in tears how had I risked my whole future and nearly £2000.00 in the space of one hour , doing crazy spins and then realising if I cashed out a whole host of things I want to do and see were now a reality.

Last night taught me I have no control , football , horse racing which I love and the dreaded fobt.

Ultimately losing on other sports makes me go for the quick fix of the roulette , you can win big , but lose bigger.

I now need to close every betting account I have ever had , make sure I have a blocker in place for my pc and cut this out completely , yesterday I was lucky tomorrow I could be ruined.

Most gamblers say it is easier to go out on a high and at least if I can say I had one final laugh at the expense of the fobt might make it easier , yes I have lost a lot this year but I now have a platform to build on.

Today is day 1 , gamble free and hopefully staying that way.

Thanks Emily, I am 5 day free now but it's hard really really hard I know I have to give up other sports like football and horses which I used to enjoy betting on, sadly now the fobt took my gambling to new heights even I didn't know I would go to, over a thousand quid last week only to win it back. The early days are very hard making me irritable and grumpy not sure when it gets better

Great work on your 5 days 🙂

It gets better when you realise that gambling was a fool's game & the money isn't ever coming back! I was lucky, I only had the machines to beat (& haven't had to give up the odd pound or 2 on the lottery as it does not put me in the dangerous location) but I'd had them for more than two thirds of my life & I am doing it...You can too! Try & find other interests, to fill your time & stop you beating yourself up about the past, once you start being kinder to yourself, you should start feeling less angry!

We can't change the past but we can shape our future - ODAAT

John, how are you doing mate?

Pretty awful at the moment infact the lowest I have been for sometime.

Was up until 4am this morning gambling on the roulette bonus machine , won £5k a few weeks ago which is the worst thing that could ever have happened to me , chasing the next big win which I know will never come but cost me £1k to find that our last night , part of it is the money but the main thing is the emotional torment and the things the machine does to you mentally.

I can honestly say last night was the lowest point of my gambling days ,winning over £1000.00 to start with and motionless , not even wanting to withdraw just glued to a screen spinning away money like it was going out of fashion , the scary thing last night is if my bank would have let me I would have quite easily lost my whole life savings and not gone to bed.

It was only when I heard my little boy crying in the early hours that I broke down and cried , deep crying , the fobt had finally broken me as a person , I was so broken I would have thrown my last penny into the machine and left my family high and dry and my wedding this year in tatters.

I honestly dont know where to turn or what to do to make this right.