My FOBT recovery

Day 27.

Came through my biggest test yet all my other friends gambling drinking gambling and afternoon watching football.

Yesterday everyone around me were cheering it would seem everyone I knew was winning huge amount of money on the football and a day of cup upsets , even my home town club Bradford scored 4 past Chelsea , not something I will ever see again in my lifetime.

However the biggest victory for me is reaching day 27 and resisting any urges to gamble , today I am very proud of yesterday and left me beaming.

Today will be a good day , celebratory Sunday tea out with the family I think and then move into next week knowing im moving closer to my first milestone of a month.

Day 28.

No real update so to speak , massive 28 days without gambling and hurtling towards my first milestone of a month.

A month is huge and will signal a little celebration at home , might only be a few drinks but that one month is massive for me , more than most gifts I have had in my life.

Hi John, so pleased to read how your managing so far. Long may it continue.

Mark

Cheers Mark hoping to get to a month and then who knows.

Day 29 of a very long month.

Currently in the process of moving house so my mind is everywhere.

The strange thing is at the moment my mind only drifts to gambling when I come on this forum and remember the bad times , maybe I need reminding of the bad times to recover and I always remember a few posts I wrote myself which scare the hell out of me.

I am too afraid to go back to the lunatic I was and that is spurring my recovery path on.

Hi John,

Well done on 29 days and yes January is a very long month, nearly over though,

Don't envy you moving this time of the year, it's stressful,any time of the year, lol.

Keep positive and strong.

Suzanne xx

Day 30.

I honestly never believed in my fits of gambling , endless sleepless nights and stress I would ever reach 30 days , today is absolutely wonderful , I have managed to reach 30 days and stay gamble free.

It is the end of the month almost I have a little pot of money I would have used to gamble and it amazing in just one month there is enough there for a break away / holiday / meals out and to live the life I used to envy of other people.

The reality is I was in a position to have that kind of lifestyle but instead chose to gamble it away , the outlook for the future is quickly a very rosy one.

The path of recovery is a very long one , but today gifting myself 30 days non gambling is the biggest win I have ever experienced.

Happy Wednesday

Not a bad state of mind for a wet &;windy wednesday is it! Life is full of small pleasures we just need to choose them

Day 30 part 2.

Awful afternoon and received a random free bet from a bookmaker.

Toyed with the idea in my head and then called to self ban for life , I hope that is the last one , I might be paranoid but seems strange the only bookie I never use tries to tempt me in with promises of riches.

Today the victory is mine and you can stick your free bet where the sun doesnt shine , true vultures

Day 31 - 1 whole month the longest month and something to be proud of.

Tonight weather permitting I will take my partner and little boy for tea , out of all the days my true test in resolve was yesterday when I turned down a free bet and closed what I hope is my final betting account with a life time exclusion.

In my head I would usually say I turned down free money , but the online casino games are clever , they offer you what they call a free cash bet , sometimes £20.00 - £50.00 but you have to turn over 40 times that amount before you can withdraw by which time you are hooked , bit like a drug dealer giving you a sample before he ropes you in for life.

The bookies to me are no better than the dealers we see on the street , only doing it in a way that is apparently above board.

I would like to thank everyone on here for getting me to 31 days , I could not have done it without your help.

Day 32.

This is the start of my second month , wont be easy and still lots of hurdles to overcome.

However 32 days is massive and long may it continue.

Well done John,

32 days really is a massive achievement, stay strong, positive and keep doing what you are doing.

Suzanne xx

Day 33.

Football and a family weekend this weekend , having a battle fighting urges today , got complacent and knew the urge would come back , but I read my diary and that is what keeps me going , the previous mess is why I am here and need to ride it out.

Day 34.

Had a lot to drink yesterday and nearly went on the fruit machines when we were out last night , there were quite a lot of us out and I said id had too much to drink and came home.

I hate the fact that there are fruit machines in every bar / pub & club now.

In Spain the atmosphere is so much different to this country , there is a strict ban on a lot of fruit machines and a different atmosphere.

Day 35.

Reflecting on how and why I would have gambled on Saturday had I not walked away.

The truth is I knew the dangers even heavily drunk and the fact I managed to find the resolve and walk away is a huge step in recovery , yes it was nearly a slip but the fact is it wasn't , hopefully this week I can start building the days and get another month under my belt.