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Glad the chat helped, I sent you a virtual hug. C.J. Mentioned I started a virtual move of ВЈ1 each night from one bank account to one I used when I gave up before called Cashbuilder. I now have £135 in that account. Will spend it once I reach one year.

Your doing great with the diary, give your partner time, she will talk when she's ready.

You keep this up your nearly at a 1 week milestone.
Keep going.
Bella xx

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Yesterday was my 7th day without a bet.

This time last week things were very different. My problem was hidden, as were the lies.

It was a busy day, which was good. No thoughts about putting on a bet. Which was better.

I self excluded from bookies near where I work. Betting in shops wasn't a problem for me. As in I could walk in. Place a ВЈ1/£2 Bet on the pre printed football coupon and walk out. There wasn't the same feeling as putting a bet online. But anyway, I've put blocks in place to stop me doing it, if the urge does appear.

Most of my thoughts were about the ga meeting I was going to attend that evening. What would it be like? What would the people be like? Lots of whats...
But I needed not worry. It was a really good meeting. Very useful. Very friendly people in a friendly relaxed environment. It didn't conform to any of the stereotypes I'd envisaged. I want to go back next week.

Made pancakes with the kids. As a family. Me and my partner only exchanged pleasantries but it felt good. It made me think a bit about the time I'd wasted focusing on the next bet, rather than my family.

I had a really good sleep. But with very gambling filled dreams. They were about the winning of big money, but the reactions of and consequences to others. I wasn't gambling in them by the way!

So day 7 is done. Next....

Jens wrote: One down. Next.... Yesterday was my 7th day without a bet. This time last week things were very different. My problem was hidden, as were the lies. It was a busy day, which was good. No thoughts about putting on a bet. Which was better. I self excluded from bookies near where I work. Betting in shops wasn’t a problem for me. As in I could walk in. Place a £1/£2 Bet on the pre printed football coupon and walk out. There wasn’t the same feeling as putting a bet online. But anyway, I've put blocks in place to stop me doing it, if the urge does appear. Most of my thoughts were about the ga meeting I was going to attend that evening. What would it be like? What would the people be like? Lots of whats... But I needed not worry. It was a really good meeting. Very useful. Very friendly people in a friendly relaxed environment. It didn't conform to any of the stereotypes I’d envisaged. I want to go back next week. Made pancakes with the kids. As a family. Me and my partner only exchanged pleasantries but it felt good. It made me think a bit about the time I'd wasted focusing on the next bet, rather than my family. I had a really good sleep. But with very gambling filled dreams. They were about the winning of big money, but the reactions of and consequences to others. I wasn’t gambling in them by the way! So day 7 is done. Next....

Keep it up. Enjoy your family and stay strong. Lots of really inspirational stories on here. You can do it too

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Yesterday was my 8th day without a bet.

And you know what, it was a pretty good day.

Not sure why, but I'm taking it.

So day 8 is done. Next....

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Yesterday was my 9th day without a bet.

It started off being full of nerves. Me and my partner were seeing my GP in the morning. I didn't know how this would go. What would he ask? How would I be made to feel?
I felt sick when he called my name in the waiting room. I needn't have worried. He was really good and nice. Talked through some addiction related stuff, asked about my welfare, how was I feeling, how long has this being going on, any triggers? The standard questions I guess. I just broke down and blurted it all out.

If I had an addiction to drink or drugs there are numerous services and support functions available. As it's gambling, there are non on the NHS where I live. He mentioned GamCare as a good support mechanism, as well as GA.
But it sounded to him like I was doing all I can to get through this. He is right!

On the way to the GP, I had a message from a friend asking if I needed to talk. My partner had told a few of her friends and one of their husbands was now texting me. I arranged to meet him, and it was really good. As the old adverts said, “Its good to talk". Again, I was very open and honest about what I'd done and how I was feeling. I'll be doing that again.

So my day started with me, my partner and her parents knowing. Now a few good friends know. This felt odd. I was reluctant to tell people as I didn't want to be judged. Or looked at funny across the playground. But it really has helped, being able to talk and be open with people.

I went for a run last night, and managed a personal best on one of the sections I did. In the last few months, my running has been stable. No improvements, average times. But I was running with a thought of the matches that were on that night. Or up coming bets. Now I'm running with a more focused mind, I'm wondering if this has helped. Maybe it's b*****ks. But it works for me.

Had 2 messages on my phone when I got back. One each from my partners sisters. They were both offering their thoughts and support to me through this. I feel very lucky.

So I woke up with a couple of people knowing, and have gone to bed with a lot more people knowing. Its a good feeling. I've still got some people to tell. I'll do that soon when I'm ready.

So day 9 is done. Next....

Dear Jens,

thank you very much for sharing your experiences of the past few days. Your experiences of talking and sharing with people and how it affects you now that they know.

I am also so pleased to hear you have so many kind and caring people around you who are showing up when you need them. I hope your post will also encourage others to talk and not hide in shame.

Please keep posting and please keep taking all the support you are offered.

Wishing you all the best in your recovery,

Eva

Forum Admin

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Yesterday was my 10th day without a bet. I'd say it was an achievement getting here. Really can't think of the last time I went this long without a bet. It feels good though. I didn't want to shout it from the roof tops, but I did gave myself a pat on the back.

I told some more friends about my problem. I've a group of 3 close friends from university and we meet up a couple of times a year. This week the planning messages started for the next one. I didn't reply straightaway, but last night I told them. Openly and honestly I told them my story. They were all very supportive, offered to talk at any time, even to go and spend a weekend with them, just to have a change of scenery.

I know in the chat room that there is a bit of a divide on telling people. I can categorically say that for me, it is a huge help. The more outlets for help and support I have, the better it is for me. I've had this bottled up and dealt with it on my own. I can't do that anymore.
As I say, it works for me. It might night work for everyone.

I want to echo my thanks to the chatroom again. This also has been invaluable to me.

Ooops, that got a bit wordy didn't it?? No thoughts of betting though, which is a good thing. A very good thing.

So day 10 is done. Next....

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Yesterday was my 11th day without a bet. It was a busy day as had my brother and his family to stay.

Went to the pub in the afternoon, and my brother pulled his betting slips out and asked me to check the scores. This was the first time I'd really been in contact with gambling in 11 days. I felt a bit awkward, but looked for him. He was 1 goal off £300 with 10 minutes to go.

Lucky you I thought. It didn't bring back any feelings of wanting to bet which was good.

At the bar I told him about my gambling. And I got a reaction that I'd not had before, yet thought it would be the one I got the most. “how much you lost?”. I told him. Its not the biggest amount I've read on here, but its a lot to me and my family. “my mate did half of that in a fruit machine last week" was his reply.
I genuinely don't think he got it, that I was telling him I had a problem. And that because it's not thousands and thousands, it was only the money he seemed interested in, not the other associated problems. Actually, that may not be strictly true as he never said if he won his bet or not!

Anyway, I'm quite proud of dealing with a situation involving a bet they way I did.

So day 11 is done. Next....

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Yesterday was my 12th day without a bet.

It was a bit of a meh day. Not sure why, but wasn't in the greatest of moods.

Enjoyed spending time with family, which is a good thing.

Watched the Birmingham derby on tv. I really enjoyed watching it for the football. No thoughts or urges to gamble. Did notice the obscene amount of advertising for gambling though. I think both teams were sponsored by online sites, and pretty much every advert break started and ended with odds for a bet. No wonder people get sucked in. Its every where in football.

Maybe that's what put me in a bad mood, who knows?

So day 12 is done. Next....

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Yesterday was my 13th day without a bet. 13 days?? It's gone so quickly. And I feel so much better for not having a bet. I feel that I can concentrate on things more, I'm sleeping better and I'm not putting things off as much.

Had a few good chats today. One with my brother who wanted to finish the conversation we had over the weekend. It was good to talk to him, and for him to understand where I am at the moment. I told him of the blocks I've got in place and surprisingly he said he knew plenty of people in similar situations - salary paid to wife and get an allowance every week. The difference being I managed to stop before serious debt took place.

The chat room as ever was helpful. Twice. If someone new to the site is reading this and hasn't ventured there yet, its definitely worth it.

So 13 down. Next....

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Yesterday was my 14th day without a bet. And it felt good.

Celebrated by going to a GA meeting last night. A lot more people there than last week, but it was a good use of a couple of hours. Made a couple of contributions about telling friends about my problem, and the supportive outcomes received from them.

All in all, a good day. No thoughts about betting, which can only be a good thing.

So 14 down. Next....

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Yesterday was my 15th day without a bet.

And it was another pretty good one! I think I'm rediscovering things that I have put aside or neglected due to my gambling.

Apart from my family, I've started enjoying football for football again. And music. I love music. Putting my headphones in and being taken away, I loved that. I realised yesterday that I'd not being doing that. Actually I'd not done that in ages. My bus journey had been spent trawling fixtures, checking results, looking for a “banker". But yesterday I put the headphones in and felt good!

I felt that I had a smile on my face all day. A genuine smile, not a this is what you want to see smile.

I had an early night, and as I was trying to sleep I got a text message. It was from my partners parents. My plan has been to write to them, but I've always struggled with the right words and deleted what u started. They, like everyone else, were so supportive in their message. So many kind words and thoughts. They really are the best in laws anyone could have. And this message really meant a lot to me.
I sent a reply explaining what I'm doing to overcome this, and how sorry I was for the way I've made their daughter feel.

A few tears, but still a smile when I went to sleep.

So 15 down. Next....

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Yesterday was my 16th day without a bet.

I wasn't looking forward to yesterday. Its been playing on my mind a lot, and I was a bit worried it might trigger something.
I'm being made redundant at work, and yesterday was the day that I met the person taking over and gave him a few hours of my time showing him what I do.

As most of my gambling has been whilst at work, and since I received my termination notice I was gambling more, I thought I might struggle. Although it was tough, I kept myself busy but also gave myself time on my own- 20 minutes in the park was enough- and made it through without temptation.

Read an interesting article online about a gambler who lost loads of money (don't we all) and about adverts for gambling and their popularity and the message given is all about winning.

I think this has been one of my toughest yet.

So 16 down. Next....

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Yesterday was my 17th day without a bet. And again, a tough one.

I'd taken some money (I had asked for it) to go shopping in the market in town. I got a message from my partner asking how much id taken. I told her ВЈ40, just as we'd discussed and she replied that there was £60 in the envelope yesterday and now its empty.

I genuinely had only take ВЈ40. And I got why I was being questioned. Ive lied so much about money for so long, its inevitable that I'm the first port of call. I didn't mind being questioned about it either. I'm all up for honesty now. Still not sure what happened to the other £20.

We had a chat last night. First time in 17 days where we've exchanged more than pleasantries. I told her about the people I've told, the support I'm getting from them, the GA meetings. I talked about work too. It felt good to talk. Hopefully we can do it again, but I'm not going to push it.

It was a mentally tough day. Lots to deal with, but the positive is no thoughts about placing a bet. Even walking around with £40 in my pocket, there was no temptation.

So day 17 is done. Next....

Four down. Next....

Yesterday was my 21st day without a bet.

I owe you four updates. Nothing to report in the days that I've missed. Just been really busy with family and friends. A pretty manic full on weekend. With out any gambling!

I popped into the chat on Monday lunchtime about the parliamentary debate and gave some of my personal thoughts and views. Hopefully they were useful. I actually watched the last 20 minutes or so of the debate live yesterday. It was quite good to hear things that I could relate too and concerning me are being looked into. I think what was more scarier is that the current Gambling Act was written in 2005, and doesn't really cover online gambling much. This definitely needs updating!!

I celebrated my 3 weeks with a ga meeting. As usual, a very good use of a couple of hours. The effects of being bet free and mental health was discussed. I'm certainly sleeping more, and better, which can only be a good thing.
And it's usually around now that my mind starts to think about the next credit card bill. What have I taken from it? Is it going to be easy to gloss over, hide and lie? Will my partner ask to see it?
There is still a bit of nervousness in my mind as I know there are gambling related transactions on there. But she knows they are there. And I don't have to lie about them.

I genuinely can't remember being 3 weeks without a bet.

So day 21 done. Next....