One down. Next....

Well done Jens on everything, the 21 days, the GA meetings and the ray of light starting to shine through in your partnership. Hope you go from strength to strength now.

It fascinates me how things start to change once we stop. For me it seemed like nothing to begin with, I felt like I was dragging myself through the first week, but then something nice happened, nothing major, just life being a bit helpful and it was so good, and I thought well these nice things do happen, and they've happened before, but I've never really noticed them properly, as if I've been blinkered (which I have) by the ups and downs of gambling. And now, a few weeks on, without the blinkers, the ordinary good stuff seems extra good.

PS If you google Online Gambling Protection Hansard, there's a full transcript of yesterday's debate.

One down. Next....

Yesterday was my 22nd day without a bet.

A few betting related thoughts crept in. I used to hate the international break in football- most big leagues weren't on and I'd end up betting on really random leagues and matches.

My chain of thought went from I wonder if England are on TV, to what other teams could I find to bet on? Once the seed had been planted, it stayed at the back of my mind for a while.

I made sure I was busy at work, but equally gave myself some time in the park at lunch time. I was a bit snappy with the kids at home too. I needed to get this thought under control so I went for a run.

Only had an hour as eldest was at football training, but had a bloody good run. Five stage awards when I uploaded my data, including to PBs. Not had a run like that for ages. It cleared my mind and the thoughts were gone.

That wasn't the 1st time since stopping gambling that my running had improved. I can see some correlation!!

So I'll put this down as an off day. Hopefully no more thoughts today.

So 22 down. Next....

One down. Next....

Yesterday was my 23rd day without a bet. No urges to gamble which is good.

Managed to complete a job I'd started when gambling. But gambling always took priority. It was for one of my children too, and his face when he saw I'd done it..... why on earth didn't I do it before? Oh yeah, the betting.

The priority and power that it had over me.
B*****d!

So 23 down. Next....

One down. Next....

Yesterday was my 24th day without a bet.

A pretty good one too. Busy and productive at work. Fish and chips for tea and watched the England match.

Noticed that there were an awful lot of gambling related adverts. Didn't trigger anything which was good. But the one that stuck out was a bloke in a kebab shop after a night out putting a bet on a random south American cup match. It was for Bet Regret.

I thought “that's what I used to do". But when sober. And anywhere. And anytime.

I can see why there are adverts like this. But it was done in a jokey light hearted way.

I wondered if using stories like what we see on here would be a better ad campaign? The real costs of betting. Or "bet regret" that we've all seen? Something hard hitting like the pictures and statements they put on cigarette packets?

It was just a thought. Probably why I dont work in advertising!!

Anyway, it didnt make me want to bet. Or even entertain the thought of placing a bet.

So 24 down. Next....

One down. Next....

Yesterday was my 25th day without a bet.

A day I'd not been looking forward too for a while. We had a family party to go to, my partners side, and although they all knew about my problem, I'd not seen them, or talked to them about it. Except a few text messages. And I was conscious of spoiling the event.

On the drive over I tried to talk to my partner about not having a bet, and the thoughts that sometimes creep in to my head, but everything came out wrong and she didn't understand what I was trying to say.

I needed have worried about the party. Her family were all great about it. I talked open and honestly to them about it. What I'd done. What I'm doing to stop and stay stopped. I still couldn't explain why though.

I still couldn't really enjoy the party though. I wasn't in a party mood. As we left all of her family gave me a big hug. This meant a lot. They were the 1st hugs I'd had (apart from the kids) in 25 days. I needed them.

So 25 down. Next....

One down. Next....

Yesterday was my 26th day without a bet.

It was quite a good day. A busy day but on the whole, enjoyable. Managed to pop into the chatroom for half an hour which was good.

I thought about how good it was to talk to my partners family, and it made me smile. They're the best family in law to have I reckon.

No gambling thoughts or urges which is good.

So 26 down. Next....

One down. Next....

Yesterday was my 27th day without a bet. Again, a busy and productive day at work and home.

Things seem a lot easier to do when you've got nothing else distracting you.

No gambling related thoughts though.

So 27 down. Next....

Two down. Next....

Yesterday was my 29th day with out a bet. And I owe you the 28th too.

Its been a good couple of days.
Been busy and productive at work which I've quite enjoyed. Finished some bits early and caught up on some bits from the “nice to do" pile.
Had a good ga meeting on Tuesday night. They really are a massive benefit to me. And popped into chat a couple of times, when I could. Even if it's only for 10 minutes.

Was my eldests 12 birthday yesterday. Went for a lovely meal at a local restaurant. I thought at one point how nice it was just to sit there and enjoy the occasion without having to worry about a bet, about if I'd got signal, if I'd got to find another excuse to go to the loo to check on a score or to place another bet. I can't believe I used to do that.

I was exhausted though, so had an early night. Definitely been getting more sleep lately.

So 29 down. Next....

One down . Next....

Yesterday was my 30th day without a bet. I saw it as a bit of a mile stone. And certainly the longest I can remember going without a bet.

Maybe this was why I was in a good mood all day. I hope so!

I just feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I'm really starting to enjoy things again.

Had a strange encounter with a homeless man. He asked me for a cup of tea, and I replied that I didn't have any money. He said that he'd asked for tea, not money and without thinking, I told him that I was a compulsive gambler and don't carry any money. He said, “sh!t, that's bad. Sorry for asking".

One of the things I've learnt over the last 30 days has been about honesty. I'm very much open and honest about things now. Maybe this is something to do with my enjoyment of things too?

So 30 down. Next....

Four down. Next....

Yesterday was my 34th day with out a bet. And I owe you some.

Weekends seem so busy lately that I can't seem to find the time to put pen to paper. I'll try and change that next week. I've not been preoccupied with gambling so dont worry!!

All has been good. Apart from Sunday. Had a bit of an emotional wobble. I just felt invisible and that everything that I was doing wasn't good enough. And that I was trying to please everyone but ended up pleasing no one.

Popped into the chat room at lunchtime and got it all of my chest there, which was great. Thank you.

I've had a few late nights lately. Since stopping gambling I've been sleeping more and feel much better for more sleep. I think lack of sleep does get me down. I'll keep an eye on it.

So 34 down. Next....

Well done.

I do very much like your 'one down...next' approach, it reminds me we can only do one day at a time.

I've just been focusing on days achieved and while it's nice to see the number getting bigger, I get frustrated that nothing major has shifted yet, as if a bigger number should mean something more. I've shrunk the overdraft but that's it. Early days I guess. I must be more patient with myself.

Your approach might suit me better I think. It would help me see the success in every day. Well done again.

One down. Next....

Yesterday was my 35th day without a bet. 7 weeks. Wow! Another one to chalk of the milestone list.

Celebrated with a ga meeting! The theme this week was self worth, and given my wobble on Sunday about how I felt, it was a pretty poignant topic.
As usual, open and honesty was in order so I told my tale from Sunday. Couple with being made redundant I felt very little self worth.

Others commented and echoed the situation, and gave feedback. Overall a very positive meeting and I'm starting to feel a bit better about myself. Especially after four potential jobs were put my way today.

So it is good to talk!

35 down. Next....

One down. Next....

Yesterday was my 36th day without a bet. And again, it felt good.

Not just the not gambling, but the day in general.

On the work front, 2 of the jobs from the previous day have become interviews. Which is good. I'm not the biggest fan of interviews, and I'm feeling a bit nervous already, but if I can walk into a ga meeting, I can walk into an interview.

So 36 down. Next....

Good read, keep going, you are doing so well.

One down. Next....

Yesterday was my 37th day without a bet. A pretty good day all round. Small little changes to the way I'm thinking seem to be making such a massive difference.

At work, the office sweepstakes kit for the Grand National was doing the rounds.
I've always loved he national. Brings back memories of my grandad and being taken to the bookies on national Saturday. I've always had a bet on it. Even get the kids to choose a horse, just like I did as a kid.

But not this year. I declined to take part on the sweepstakes. I was a bit worried about what I was going to say. What story would I concoct? But a simple “I'm not gonna do it this year" sufficed. And it passed to the next person.

I think this was the first time I've directly been asked to gamble. And I said no, with no niggling or tempting thoughts. Another step in the right direction.

So 37 down. Next....