well, i have failed endlessley over and over again within the last year, and now im crippled. i have no money, and its time to grow up, wake up and smell the coffee of the short life im letting slip away.
my first milestone is going to be the 1st of may, and i shall be leaving my entries weekly or maybe daily. but this time it really is time for me
i cant live like this anymore
so, feeling positive looking forward and self belief.
here we go
Keep going sandals - you can do it!
Why not come over and join the 2014 Challenge on the 'Overcoming problem gambling' page.
Our leader is Mr Brightside who is brilliant -just introduce yourself and then remember to check in every week to let us know your progress. It's a real help - very encouraging with lots of support.
Best wishes
Joanna
Thank you for your kind words Joanna 🙂
So it's day 4 now.
Today when I was walking over to a newsagents on my break from work I walked past the amusements ,
I had cash with me. I felt it, Inside me, like I was being compelled. I walked on and went to get my trivial chocolate and drinks etc, but I could feel the illness within me, bubbling , trying to take over my senses.
I felt as if I had another version of me trying to find his way to the forefront of my mind using and exploiting any weka thoughts I had , of possible winnings, clearing a little debt, even just upping my bank balance a bit.
For the first time I could literally feel myself fight him back. Blocking my thoughts , clearing my head of it, desperately remembering that the route my mind would take would surely lead me back to the machines on the way back.
It's not the winning, or losing , or anything. I didn't agree and for a long time didn't really believe that it's the actual act of gambling that pulls you in. But it is, it simply is,
I could have lost another hundred today, would I have cared ? No, cause I have developed ways to block out the guilt and pretend that it's only money il have more
I sit here now typing this page, feeling good. Feeling good that I overcame the demons for another day, and the more time passes and the more time my mind stays clear of the lies, the more I believe in the real me again, the me that can fight back and realise there is no winning.
Today was a good day 🙂
But I do have to say though, that every time I see an advert for anything within the gambling sector , roulette, bingo , slots, I just can't believe what I'm seeing. Might as well say at the end, also we provide free C*****e for all our customers.
Addiction is addiction. And gambling can take hold of you I'm precisely the same way as drugs , with the same recovery process needed within the mind itself.
Onwards and upwards. Normal life, cash in the bank 😉
Hi there Sandals,
Well done for coming here and also on beating your recent urge!
Unfortunately we cant blame the advertising companies. Its only a small minority of us that are compulsive gamblers. For the average person it can be seen as a past time and a bit of fun.
I would suggest that you put barriers in place to help push you further away, for example, carrying only the cash you need for your daily expenses and sslf excluding from these shops. These might sound like hard steps to take, but once its done its done!
All the best,
Scambling
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