Day two no gambling. I have been here before, only lasted 3 weeks, most i have lasted for the past three years.
Today i am feeling very depressed and emotional. I am due back to work soon after a matenity leave, i could of made a lot more of the time. I have spent a lot of the time full of remorse and the sick feeling you get after a big loss the night before. I used to gamble in the evenings mostly when my children were in bed, waking up tired and my head still spinning from a night looking at slot reels.
It is since i am taking a step away from gambling i have come to the realisation that i have lost mostly all of my social skills. Being on maternity leave and gambling at home online and locked myself away for 9 months!! I haven't really seen many people other than my partner, who the moment doesn't think much of me, who could blame hime. I now face going back to work being around people and the thought of it brings me out in a cold sweat. I think gambling has masked a lot of other feelings going on inside and now that i sit here today thinking about it all it hurts a lot. We as a family should be in a much better place financially then we are. My partner earns a decent enough wage but has been paying everything on is own as i have been so selfish and spent every penny i ever had. I am now on Day two, staying away from gambling but i don't know whether that is because my balance is at 0. I will get some money in my account on Monday and it is then that i need to be on guard as i guess its easier to be more positive about you recovery when there is no money to hand. This addiction has done so much more damage then just financial. My eyes are now wide open and it feels a very painful world right now Take care all. Sosad x
Well done for posting on this site, I am also Day 2 gamble free, my downfall was also on line slots. There's no point dwelling on the past and your losses we have to put that behind us and move forward, think about the future being gamble free. You can do this just remain strong and remember the misery gambling brought you. I have also tried giving up a few times before but am always drawn back in. You think to yourself how could I be so weak and stupid but cannot stop yourself. Try and pick yourself up and look forward we will beat this a day at a time, keep reading posts on here they will offer great support, stay strong and take care xxx
Sorry to hear that sosad,i have been in same boat but I have a baby on the way and there is no way am going down this road again.keep posting here and keep focused.no gambling today will definitely bring a better tomorrow.. Take care
Scottyboy
Hello and welcome.
For me, there is no better place to be honest about my addiction and to learn from fellow travellers. It is good that you have started to understand the emotions that trigger your gambling. For me it was feelings of isolation which was ironic because the more I gambled the more isolated I became. I would also recommend online blocking software and self exclusion which I suspect has saved me in some of my weaker moments.
Feel free to stop by my diary if you need to chat. Best of luck in your recovery.
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