Right here goes I guess.... my name is Neil and here is my story so far.
Not too sure where I'm going with this or where it will go but I'll start it at the day of my last bet.
It was only a couple of weeks ago, I woke up on a Friday morning, feeling like c**P, gambled a lot the day before, I had £0 in my account, the only hope I had was a free £5 bet. That didn't last long. It was gone my head in my hands at work, didn't know what to do. It didn't take long though, my partner knew there was something wrong. It was a messy day!! She knew what I had been doing, it was over. Even though it was one of the worst feelings I have ever had, I knew it was over and was relieved( the betting had to stop) although I knew it could have been the end of us which would kill me!
All day at work I was making myself worse not wanting to go home and face upto what I had done. One thing going through my head at the time was 'one more bet could get me out of this thing' looking back what an idiotic thing to think.
Got home and didn't go well.. went round my parents to see if they could help me out, not only did they save my relationship but they bailed me out for what I thought was a second time, looking back on it, it was the third and last time I will let them bail me out (financially) , the only help I want from them in the future is support!
Went back home that night, didn't feel welcome and understand why, had work in the morning, wasn't looking forward to it......
On to day 2....
Spend all morning trying to get a loans to consolidate my finances to not be reliant on my parents. I failed as my credit rating was shot with payday loans.
Went round my parents to sort out thing on the evening and we agreed the only option to pay off all the payday loans was to get the money out on a credit card I use of theirs and pay it back. Bang upto 4K on the card to pay back on it after the second time messing up. Got it down to 2k from 4K last time. What a waste of a year 🙁
Had no urges to bet this day. Maybes because I had no money it means to get any
Urges will come and relapses occur it you want them to,
Sure you can try and win money you will never spend on anything but gambling,
Or you could think wow my parents really care,have a partner that loves me, and you can buy a take away and cuddle her and realise you have all you need.
Or you could ignore all of that carry on gambling,and enjoy it before you lose everything,and are single broke family not wanting anything to do with you.
That is the truth
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