Hi my name is Scot and I have come across this forum this evening. I'll say straight away that it has given me an amazing feeling to read just a few of the posts that I have already. To know that I am not alone which I have felt for a long long time.
This is the first time I have ever spoken to anyone about my gambling problem.
My history is that I have been gamling since the age of 18. I am now in my early-mid 20s and I have thrown way too much hard earned money at the bookies. This weekend I have lost £500, bet after bet after bet trying to recover losses of the previous, believing that it will come in eventually and I'll have a nice withdrawal to wait for tomorrow. Well I don't. I just have yet another hole in my savings and the most sick feeling in my stomach, hot feeling in my face.
I guess I am lucky in the sense that I have never got into debt with gambling however I have very little savings and anytime I managed to save a pot it will get blown away during a silly bored weekend in front of the laptop.
The time is killing me as well. I feel I have done nothing but sit in front of my screen transfixed on scores this weekend like every other weekend. I spend Saturday morning counting down the hours to 3pm when I will have my "one bet of the week". It will lose and then the rest of the weekend will be chasing the losses. I am so so sick of this feeling right now. I have so much I want to do with my life and losing time and money like this just is not an option anymore.
The longest I have gone bet free is around 2 months before Christmas until I decided to have just one bet at Christmas as a treat to myself. I should never have gone back and am determined to never ever again.
Right now I have a huge amount of hope like I do on every day 0 but I know there will inevitably be very tough times. I don't want to re-read this post in 2 weeks time and have relapsed, thinking the exact same stuff through my head. It's in black and white now for me to re-read anytime I feel weak. I feel great happiness in the fact that I have found this site tonight. I hope to share my story with you and more importantly take courage and inspiration from all of yours.
This is my day 0.
Thanks for reading.
Scot
It’s good now that you realise you have a problem with gambling a lot of people just think they can deal with but they can’t. I am 48 and been gambling and lost a hell of a lot of money ( i am too embarrassed to say how much!) I have gambled for 12 years ! I have now told my friend who is helping me and I’ve blocked my computer and iPhone. If I can do something right then it is to guide a young person like you to go in the right direction. Please please get help and don’t end up like me in your 40’s and gambling belief me ! It ruins lives ! Stop now do whatever you can to block yourself and have someone help you with your finances. Keep strong
Thanks Poblwc for your message and your words .
I have just read your thread and I just want to say awesome job for getting to 25 days, top job dude. I see you have been on here a few years but 2019 is going to be the year for us. Lets make it so! You stopped right at the start of the year so keep imagining getting to the end of 2019 and saying that you havn't gambled for an entire year. "An entire year". The words I am aiming for before pushing on for another and another and another.
I wish you well my friend, you got this.
Thanks,
Scot
Hi Scot, good luck on your journey. If online gambling is your thing get signed up to Gamstop. It blocks access to all online UK sites.
Many Thanks Vin, online gambling is my catch. Gamstop is a brilliant idea but I guess I am determined to quit without self exclusion or any type of blocks which may sound strange to some. I have tried that in the past and my mind just see's it as a challenge then to get around it ("But you could sign up here instead. You could use that computer instead. You could go into the store instead"). Those thoughts are always in the back of my mind. Instead I really want to rewire my brain for good so that the urge isn't there in the first place and that's what I'm determined to do this time. A little different to others maybe but I guess everyone is different. Thanks.
Day 1
It's now been over 24 hours since my last bet. Despite there being a high profile football match on tonight I've resisted the urge to check the form, number of goals in recent games and start calculating in my mind what the result will be (not might be). I've set out a savings plan for the rest of the year today and that has given me a goal to hopefully keep me on track in the days and weeks to come.
Different or pointless? This addiction is hard enough to bring under control with allowing yourself to justify reasons why not to put barriers into place!
Other than more willpower, what is going to be different this time to every other time you have tried to deal with this?
You are young, with a whole life ahead of you, don’t make the same mistakes others of us have made thinking that we can do this alone! If you really don’t want to gamble anymore put the blocks in that are there to buy time for even that crazy thought does pop in about gambling being a treat...It isn’t, it’s a mugs game & you have recognised that good & early so please, heed the advice & make this journey count - ODAAT
A good point made ODAAT. I will definatly take that on board. Thanks for your message.
All the best
Scot
Da I agree with ODAAT I thought I could do it myself but i was SO wrong. I had to tell someone plus put blocks in place . My friend has been amazing she has listened to me and not judged me at all. Even though since telling her I have had lapses (this was due to me not having proper blocks in place!) I have picked myself up told her about them and restarted my journey to a gamble free life. Thanks Scot for your kind words
I hope you had a good day Scot?
Hey Poblwc, thanks for stopping by mate. I've had another good couple of days and am now approaching the end of day 3. Very early days still but I am feeling very positive trying to keep busy and filling my time with other more productive stuff. I know the weekends will be my real challenge when theres a full line up of football and I have less to do, when the accumulator monkeys start working their evil in my mind. But i feel I am preparing myself mentally for that and am just imagining the feeling of getting through to Monday and a week gamble free for the first time in a few months. This will be the hardest weekend. I will drop in again before then to post an update and see how everyone is doing 🙂
Scot
Gamstop won’t solve all a gamblers problems, but honestly, I just think that people not using it aren’t remotely serious about quitting.
Just a futile exercise trying to do it in will power alone. Utterly pointless.
Hi K2,
I'm sorry you feel that way but I can assure you that I am very serious and will prove you wrong. I may even sign up to GamStop, I think it's an awesome idea espcially with all bookmarkers soon having to take part. But my priority on this journey is more about coming to terms with what I have become and shaping my mind for a better future. That process has started already. If I have the oppertunity to gamble, I want to be able to laugh it in the face and say jog on without the shackles. I don't want this problem to seep into another area of gambling because it's not covered by Gamstop, I want it gone for good. I know it's a different approach to others, I said that the other day, but it's working in my mind for me even if others such as yourself don't like it. Luckily I'm strong minded enough to rise above when someone calls the start of a very important journey to me "Utterly pointless" and "not remotely serious". I just hope that anyone else on here that has recieved a similar message is able to do the same as it could have detrimental for someone who isn't.
Scot
Hi Scott,
I can see why the others have said it’s pointless to try alone. I appreciate that you feel you can do this without putting self exclusions etc in place but as I’ve learnt through my 20s, it can subliminally be the gambler and addict not wanting to put that in place of somewhere down the line, they want access to it.
First thing I did today after I lost a substantial amount of money is block the websites I play on. Funny, it seems some sites make it a massive pain in the a*s to self exclude yourself - ring this number etc. Instead, I timed out my account for 6 weeks (the max) and have put a reminder on my phone to renew this as soon as it expires. In the meantime, I’m looking into gamstop as well.
Ultimately, gambling is everywhere. I’ve screwed up with this enough times to know that if I want to gamble, there’s always somewhere I can go. There is an element of willpower to it, but it’s a hell of a lot easier knowing that my usual places are now out of reach, and I have to go that extra distance to really put myself at risk again. At the moment I won’t, I’m still smarting from earlier - some way down the line, who knows..
How are things going Scot?
Day 6 - Going strong. Who needs the misery of gambling when you have a Saturday of flat pack furniture to build.
Check in again soon
Scot
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