Try again. No other option but to just keep trying.

Hi Stephen belated thanks for your kind post and continued support. Take care on the GF road and be kind to yourself Sx

Thank you Sharon my friend. If ever I need inspiration I will look to your 600+ days of recovery. A time during which you have shown great courage and taken all the necessary steps to rebuild your life.

Now it is my turn and there is no doubt in my mind that the time has come for me to finally stop gambling.

Only 6 days into this gamble free adventure but already I am feeling confident and have a great sense of purpose. It's as if the final piece of the recovery jigsaw has dropped into place.

Alongside my angels and gamcare friends I have set out on a mission. With a song, a dance and a smile on my face I will keep going forward no matter what gets in my way.

The gambling demons can kiss my sorry backside goodbye because I am having nothing more to do with them...stephen

San15 wrote:

i just don't think you yet *** what consequences gambling brings...yes, for a short while, as we all..it hurts, we hate it, we suffer and so on...then feeling passes, everything starts picking up and that's then the most damaging time comes into play. Continue on path or **** it, let's give ourselves to lion den, this time we may not get chewed alive..

Much love, blessings

Wow. My adult life cycles summed up perfectly. Not this time though. Going to replace circles for a diagonal line upwards.

"its a journey not a destination " this is what i saw today that struck a chord, you stumbled last week but u are no further away for your goal as there is no destination we are wolking towards. Each day is a goal of not gambling on that we make each day and mostly succeed. Youve done brilliant so far stephen. I've posted alot on Mixers thread today and im hoping u will continue to write ur pearls of wisdom, poems, songs, and updates to us all for many years to come.... enjoy your weekend mate we've been on here a long time now and it's definitely been worth it.

A big thank you to Sandra, Signalman & Adam. I really appreciate your excellent advice and encouragement. It is heartwarming to witness the empathy, compassion and understanding that many on the diaries show to their fellow travellers.

We come in all shapes and sizes. There are those amongst us who are strong, weak, wise, foolish, happy and sad. We are all different in so many ways but we are banded together by a common cause, fighting for our lives and our freedom.

I see myself on the recovery road which is leading me to a better life. To the left and to the right are fellow travellers, my gamcare brothers and sisters. Like any siblings we might have differences of opinion from time to time and may disagree on certain things but in truth we stand together, united against a common foe. Love and best wishes to everyone on the diaries...stephen

Hello Stephen

Thanks for dropping by my diary and leaving those nice words, are they song lyrics? I don't recognise them.

Hope you are doing well. I'm not exactly in a position to offer words of wisdom but I do send thoughts of encouragement.

Have a good weekend.

Hi Stephen hope you are keeping well .... just like to say its good to see you back on the Guru challenge again cause looking back any time you have decided to leave and stop counting your days a relapse seems to be never far away, really do hope you can try something different this time mate cause you really cant keep going round in circles.You have gone long periods without a bet in the past and i know you can do so again, you are a great support to many on here and we are all behind you and believe in you .... have a good Sunday and keep the faith.

Many thanks for the posts on my diary.

Sapphira ...Congratulations on a week without gambling. I wish you peace, contentment and happy days as you continue on your journey. I am glad you liked the verse ("We are the dancers"). I don't know were it came from but I like it also.

Chartom ... you really are gamcare superstar. 339 since your last bet and you have consistently shown great courage, common sense and tenacity. Even when pestered by the addiction, you have stood your ground with honour and integrity.

Hello Diary ...very pleased to report that today I am in double figures. Standing tall, proud and determined to find my way home. No stopping me now, I am on a mission ...stephen

My noble quest is now into its 11th day.

By refraining from gambling, my aim is to find peace, joy and contentment.

"Angel number 11 brings a message from my angel to pay special attention to my thoughts and ideas as these are revealing the answers to my prayers."

"My positive affirmations and optimistic attitude will manifest my desires and help me to achieve my goals and aspirations. They will also assist me in my spiritual life purpose and soul mission."

Stephen the fearless is on a mission. Cool, calm and committed to recovery.

I read something you posted recently, can't remember where but I really wanted to comment on it and didn't get round to it. You mentioned you had been free of alcohol and smoking for 17 years but you still find it hard to kick the gambling.

I can't tell you how much I am in awe of your achievements with those 2 things, they are the ones I am struggling so badly with, the drinking more than anything... yes I am dealing with gambling in a way I never thought I could but I still have 2 massive addictions to beat, in my eyes you have beaten the biggest so please don't put yourself down too much with the gambling, you have achieved so much already.

This addiction you will beat in time, one day at a time. Never forget how strong you have already been and you can, if you want to, carry that strength to wherever you want.

Best wishes,

angel x

Many thanks Angel for your kind words of support.

I did indeed stop drinking alcohol 28 years ago but by than my marriage had come to an end. The ex wife was naturally very bitter, my young daughter was prevented from seeing me and my career in the Merchant Navy was over due to an emotional breakfown. It was all due to a combination of alcohol and gambling.

I stopped smoking in June 2001 but the gambling has been the hardest to overcome. I have had periods gamble free and during a 24 year spell working with the council I believed I had gambling under control as I only gambled moderately on sports and I lived a reasonably contented life.

However, destructive gambling came back with a vengeance when I took early retirement. Part of my pension came in a lump sum and along with my redundancy money I went a little crazy in the casinos and on the roulette machines in the bookies. When that money had all but gone I went taxi driving but my takings all went to gambling and life became a struggle just keeping my head above water.

I am 68 now and am 12 days away from my last bet. The good news is that I have finally come to my senses and I know deep down in my heart that my gambling days are over.

As the Buddha so rightly said: "Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts."

Stephan , your last post was very meaningful to me; real life. Somehow the way that your summarized the story spoke to me. I am here on day one since a scratcher card binge. I never played scratchers quite like this. It escalated and yesterday I witnessed myself in action . I witnessed my behavior more strongly than I had in a few months; since I left this site when I couldn't log in due to tech. difficulties with the site. I'm happy to be back to tell yet another story and once again thx. for your story. tara2

Thanks for your kind words on my diary! Yes life seems quite hectic but I do try to check in everyday. Gambling is never far from my mind though, but in a 'don't go there because it will end in disaster' way. Also when I walk past the numerous bookmakers on my way to work it makes me sad that it's the same people there everyday. Carry on believing Stephen, you offer so much to others that you deserve to be GF for yourself. Take care S x

Thank you Tara & Sharon. I really appreciate your support and encouragement.

Day 14 and everything going according to plan.

I have just been gazing out over the River Humber and felt totally blessed by the magnificence of my surroundings.

A gentle breeze ruffled the waves, reflections of bright sunlight dazzled my eyes and it felt good to be alive.

I will put my heart and soul into this gamble free adventure and embrace all that it involves. I eagerly anticipate the challenges that lie ahead and will keep going forward no matter what. Hope burns bright, a defiant smile is etched on my face and i'm ready to rock n roll....stephen

Hello Stephen,

Just passing by to wish you well. Hope you're enjoying a good GF weekend. Look after yourself.

All the best.