Thought I would give this a go, I have decided this time is different (as i am sure many have in the past). I have been gambling for nearly 10 years now and my life has been on hold for that exact amount of time ... 10 YEARS. Still living at home, no savings, just around £13k worth of debt to show for it all. Back in October I confessed to my dad and to my suprise he took it really well and paid off nearly £8k of my previous debt.
I managed two months debt free and then relapsed as I have done in the past, then over the last 4 months I have built up around £13k worth of more debt and I have had enough, normally I come on this site when im at my lowest and browse the forum then leave and continue gambling. However im not at my lowest today, I won a bet this weekend for £800 ... which for me is good solid win. This helps a lot, it was with **** and was a last minute goal in the football that won me it .... you would have thought, 'I bet it was amazing' 'I bet you went crazy' ... I didnt, far from it, barely a shed of emotion. Thats when I realised I need to STOP. If Im not getting a high from the best part of gambling why am I still bothering. I took the £800 out on Saturday and self excluded (now self excluded from 20 UK bookies) *** was the last on my list that I was allowed to use. I can honestly say it is an AMAZING feeling not constantly checking my phone all the time for scores or new bets. I would start gambling on cricket at 7am and finish with tennis at 10pm, 15 hours a day without a break from checking my phone. Its embarrassing ...
So its been 48 hours without a bet, I have thought a lot about checking whats on, or forcing a bet out of rubbish basketball I otherwise wouldnt give a second glance. I hope over the coming days this urge will subside.
My debts are awful, payday loans, credit cards, other longer term loans. My finances are a mess. I can't decide what to do, I think tonight I am going to complete a stepchange form and have a long hard think. I get paid around 1600 a month and I think my replayments are around 1300, Im not sure how I will manage. Im going to have a think about whether it is worth confessing a relapse to my dad and ask for some assistance, not sure how he will take it but it feels like my only option. Im pretty sure Stepchanges options will ruin my credit rating so anything is better than that. However I will use as a last resort. The reason I dont want my credit report ruining is that I need to move out at the end of the year and with Stepchanges methods that will not be possible.
I need a house by this time next year ...
I will keep you updated each day .... I have set an alarm on my phone to remind me to update my diary.
Good luck one and all, speak tomorrow ..........
Hi Tom,
It has been a whiile since you last posted on your recovery diary and I was wondering how you are doing.
We are always here to support you.
Kind wishes
Gabriele
Hi,
If you are talking about pay day loans, credit cards etc i think your credit rating is on the way down.
If u are paying 1300 out of 1600 each month u will be short of ВЈВЈВЈ's. A house (rent / mortgage and monthly bills) is not cheap so just curious how to afford it.
I am with Stepchange and i pay a reasonable amount each month which does leave some room for manouvere.
Defo worth considering.
Best wishes
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