not atall tommy keep the posts coming, its great to see a positive outcome on here as it gives others hope that they can overcome their horrific situation :]
Well how glad do I feel that I didn't wait until today 3rd July. I actually told most of my friends at the weekend as well and feels so good. I'm now 10 days gambling free today and I'm going to my 2nd councillor session tonight. So far so good.
It's great to hear that things are going well early-doors Tommy. Keep posting, and delighted that you made the right decision. It's going to be hard work, this, but you know this and you also know the rewards are well worth it.
Thanks and I know it's going to be a long hard road. Do you have any advice off what to do when you get the urge to gamble????
tommyb wrote: Thanks and I know it's going to be a long hard road. Do you have any advice off what to do when you get the urge to gamble????
When you get the urge to gamble, come on here and go to the Family & Friends board here http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forums/family-friends
Read some of the stories as to how gambling is wrecking lives of the partners/family/friends and it'll fortify you NOT to gamble. Some of those stories are brutally hard to read. Very sad for those involved.
Thanks... Very good advice. Yous have all helped me so much on here and given me some very good advice and I'll never forget it. I really hope I can do the same 1 day.
I was given a £20 free gift bet voucher today as a present and I was so so close to not telling my girlfriend and going to use it. It was so hard. It took me over a hour to ring her and tell her but I sat down and read over my posts on here and I finally rang her. It was so hard but I did the right thing. Is it silly and stupid to feel proud off myself??? I was so so close to using it and gamble.
But I was about to do it. Be honest will it get easier
I am still trying to get my head around everything. All we want is a house now because of me we can't get a mortgage. We have to wait for at least 6 months and find a massive deposit. It's things like this that makes me want to gamble to win money for these things but it never happens.
tommyb wrote: I am still trying to get my head around everything. All we want is a house now because of me we can't get a mortgage. We have to wait for at least 6 months and find a massive deposit. It's things like this that makes me want to gamble to win money for these things but it never happens.
You will not win at gambling. It's an old adage....one...day..at..a...time. That's all you can do. This is like an alcoholic being reached a free drink. He knows he'll have to put the drink down, or throw it away, or he will slip back into problems again. Same with you. Read the stories on here and remember why you've stopped. Bin the filthy promotion. It is trying to snare you again like the scummy industry it is!
Well done Tommy on walking away from the "free" bet. They don't want to lose you because we are the cash cows that they make all their profits from not the people who have the odd bet occasionally and walk away whether they win or lose. They are no better than the drug dealer offering their "customers" free drugs to keep them hooked.
Being patient and wanting everything to go back to how it could have been before we gambled is really difficult. I started getting annoyed with myself because I wanted all the financial control back in my life after just a few weeks which was frankly a ridiculous expectation. My wife would have been mad to have trusted me with any of our finances within such a short period of time.
6 months to wait until you can start thinking about mortgages is nothing really and to be honest taking on a big financial responsibility like that is probably not a great idea anyway when you are in the early stages of recovery.
You are doing great. Just keep being honest with your girlfriend and remember every day you don't gamble you are better off and are moving towards a better future.
Have a great weekend.
Tommy - I completely get the feeling, I want to gamble to pay for this or buy that - it's great you are recognising the feeling is there and keep battling against it. I'm not too far ahead of you, 450 days GF and I still have fleeting thoughts and am desperate to move house, feel really depressed at where i live now but it is a consequence of my choice to gamble, keep reminding yourself that it is the same for you. this is painful and it feels unfair but actually it isn't. we chose to gamble and there are consequences to those decisions. Own it, accept it and move forward. Put that energy to better, more productive use, don't waste it on gambling, dont waste it thinking about gambling and dont waste it being angry. It's gone, you lost, I lost, that's OK. Well done bookmakers, you beat me, you beat Tommy too. However, we now have the chance to make better choices, everyday. We know that we have an addiction and we know that by choosing to not gamble we are no longer feeding the addiction, we are no longer letting it grow.
Tommy, I don't know if it ever truly dies, the addiction but we can stop feeding it and it does become increasingly dormant. It is easier today that it was 450 days ago. The best thing I have done so far is to accept that I lost and accept that whatever happened, whatever incentives where (and still are!) sent through the post to me, emailed or text to me, however easy others made it for me to gamble, however often my wife accepted my absurd reasons for missing money or wage errors etc etc, it will all still driven and fed by my choice to gamble
keep up the fight
I am an addicted gambler, today I will choose to not gamble
Yes thank you...... We can all beat this. I am a addicted gambler but I will not gamble today.
The main reason I think I use to gamble was to get out of debt. I have been gambling free now for 15 days and my girlfriend and I have counted up my debts and the only way I think I will get them paid is if I gamble and try to get a massive win otherwise it will take me about 2 years. HELP ME. I O know I should not be thinking this way but I am.......
Evening Tommyb
I started with a 5 figure debt myself. When i first stopped i was in a massive hurry to pay it off. I worked out if i put all the money i had above my rent and other bills i could pay it off in 2 years (a much longer time frame than i would have hoped back then). After about 6 months of paying it down as much as i could i began to see that once i re-learnt how to use and spend money that my debt wasn't the be all and end all. Yes i wanted it gone and i still do of course but im now almost 10 months GF and i've just taken out a loan for 2/3 of my current debt that i will be paying over the next 2 years. Im still paying what is a weeks wages each month towards my debt but it allows me to live around it and so isn't my energy focus all the time, unlike when i first stopped gambling.
The fact is i gambled for over 10 years and if i carry on gambling i'll either 1) lose more money, 2) more years of my life consumed by it, or 3) both, and im not prepared to let that happen any more.
Pay your debts down at a rate you can afford to still live around. You don't have to spend a lot of money. Just give yourself something to show some value to yourself. As you learn to use and respect money more while remaining GF it gets easier, your self worth and self respect grow like crazy and you can take satisfaction from the little things that mean so much in life.
All the best.
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