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*Told AI My Story*
Hi everyone, I’m 27 and I’ve been gambling for just over a year. I wanted to share my story because I’m realizing how quickly this has overtaken everything else I’ve ever been through.
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It started small with bingo sites I saw on TV ads. I’d play the free games and occasionally have a small win. Looking back at my social media memories from that time, it is painful to see how excited I was over those initial wins. That feeling hooked me. I signed up for a free spins offer, had a successful session, and that became the catalyst. I ended up opening dozens of different accounts in a single week. While I have closed most of them now, the damage to my well-being remains the same.
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I tried to set rules for myself, sticking to low-stake spins. When I had a win, I’d withdraw it, but then the cycle of re-depositing became my enemy. I’d drip the money back in, bit by bit, trying to convince myself I wasn't losing my own money. However, when you look at the wagering stats, you realize how much of your actual life and hard-earned income you are throwing away.
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Recently, things escalated. I found myself depositing more to play at higher stakes. Even when I had significant wins and successful withdrawals, I would eventually deposit it all back. In this last week alone, my deposits have reached a point that is no longer sustainable.
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The scariest part for me is the comparison. I was alcohol dependent for over four years and have dealt with various substance addictions since my late teens. I’ve spent 17 years managing different forms of dependency, but I have never felt a physical "gut-punch" quite like the one I get when the balance hits zero, or that frantic anxiety while counting down the days until payday.
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I’m posting this because it is officially out of hand. I’ve survived other challenges, but this feels like a different beast entirely. I understand that everyone’s recovery journey is different, but I just needed to get this off my chest and acknowledge that I need to find a new way forward.
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Hi JimothyÂ
Thank you for your share and being so open. I hope it's felt good to get it all out.
Yes I can certainly agree, over my 44 years gambling, the banks didn't like lending me money as they knew they wouldn't get it back l, however operators have no problem in offering money as they know they get it back with a whole lot of interest on top. Wins in gambling are just future losses.
I guess you know a bit about beating addiction with the alcohol side and others. I have many friends in GA who have suffered with multiple addictions and all of them say gambling is the hardest to stop. It's the only addiction that convinces the only way out is to do more. It makes you feel life is too tough to face and it's easier to run back to it on an ever increasing cycle.
What's worked for me and got me to 146 days gamble free is the basics to start - Friction foundations, accountability and connection. That base gave me the opportunity to work on retraining my brain to be able to face life and not look to escape for a shortcut.
Friction for me was signing up to Gamstop, installing Gamban on all my devices, signed up to Moses and Sense for extra protection and put a gambling block on my banking apps. This was to create as much friction between me and a bet, enough time to change my mind.
Accountability for me has grown. At first it was about allowing my partner access to my banking app along with my mother. This also gave them peace of mind. After joining Gamcare, the chatrooms on here, Gamfam zooms, Evive and GA I felt accountability to a new set of friends in recovery. Most of all, I learned accountability to myself, to be present and the best person I can, each day.
Connection is so important in recovery. Gambling addiction thrives in isolation and secrets. Just talking to everyone, people walking along the street, serving coffee, everyone. Gives that missing bit of dopamine. Connecting to nature by walking without headphones on listening to sport but instead listening and noticing nature.Â
Keep coming on here, keep working on yourself and try and come to the chatrooms at 8 each nightÂ
The problem with this addiction u can still be an addict even if their 0 financial concequences i have read many post from friends and families addicts who are denial and are past retirement age which make it even more difficult the habit gets ingrained because most peoole look at the financial eliment to distingush a problem it a difficult one with other addiction whether it drugs or alcohol signs are very clear the habit itself is hard to see i even here alot of people saying i can afford it am not in debt i enjoy it i use to envy such peoole peoole but now understanding the addiction i feel sorry for these people as they may never seek helpÂ
Hiya
How are you getting on ?
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