New here today, my first step, dreading telling my partner

Hi Pugs

This situation comes up a lot on here and as you can imagine, there is no set rule to follow.

My mantra in recovery is that the truth will set you free. There is only one truth or numerous lies to cover up the truth. I no longer lie and manipulate people to my own way of thinking. I always tell the truth and can rely that ive done my part by doing so. That's not saying I would know what to do in your situation but I'd someone is who I think they are then they will understand. 

I was in a similar position but it was dreading telling my family. I was so worried and it ate me up inside. They knew something was going on as I needed to keep borrowing money would not be responsive to people. They didn’t expect me to say I am a gambling addict, but when I sat down with my Mum and opened up it felt amazing. For about 10 months I kept wanting to tell her but instead pushed her away. It was scary but once I did it, I felt like I was set free of the lies. He will listen and be supportive - I wish you all the best with it. 

Hi Pugs

How are you doing ?

@lp5vut869c thank you for asking, not good at all. Sitting here this morning in a cold sweat and panic about the situation I’m in, after bills and paying loan repayments leaves me with £250 per week this month and we have so much to pay for over the next couple of months. My partner will hear on 20 May if he’s being made redundant or not. I feel sick every day that he doesn’t know, I really don’t think he will forgive me a he watches every penny and thinks about money a lot. I hate what I’ve done to my life.

Hi Pugs

I can only talk from my situation and yours is different. My gambling addiction over 44 years thrived in isolation. It was self medicating because it told me the answer was to do more and not telling anyone. On the 19th November last year I told everyone and I mean everyone. The relief was met by misery. I can't go into it but it wasn't just the gambling it was also where I got the money from. 44 years took its toll and I had little avenues to feed my addiction. My dopamine levels needed to be the same as running two marathons every day. It was like throwing a hand grenade into my life but I wouldn't change that I did. At first some people surprisingly supported me and others have come on board more recently. Could I be 163 days gamble free now without that support - no

I'm now a believer that the truth will set you free rather than you can't handle the truth. There is only one truth or a million lies which may not work.

@0t321vjgrn i can understand how u feel when i came clean my family never understood it and still dont to this day thats perfectly fine do i regret coming clean the answer is no the longer a person keeps secrets the worse it gets your partner deserves to know you cant change this allthough it would help if u get as much support this shows u are serious about the addiction the thing is their more awareness about the addiction and am sure none addicts might not understand addiction but will be aware about all these adverts they wont be comoletely clueless i recently spoke to a friend who isnt aware about my gambling addiction and he mentioned these adverts and cant understand why their so many adverts

I have only just come on board today, I had been online gambling 25 years and I kept wanting to tell my wife.  I didn’t but she found out by opening a letter from my insurance company as I had asked to pay monthly.  We always paid everything in full.  She demanded to see banking statements. Game over !! This was 410 days ago I have been gambling free ever since. My wife has been my rock after the initial shock.  However the thing she kept saying was she was so hurt I never told her and asked her for help.  She was more upset about that than the £30k debt I was in.

@fqcpi8tnrv 

Well done on 410 days. How is the debt coming along ?

@lp5vut869c we are getting there !! Lots of extra work days, but I will get there.  My wife is still my guiding light and has been amazing.

@fqcpi8tnrv  another thing i have noticed when it gambling debt it even harder because of the relapses when i was in debt i followed  debt journeys on tik tok and alot of peoole were in debt one of the couples cleared £70,000 debt and saved £20,000 in less then 3 years they also got alot of engagement from it the thing with gambling debt its the worst kind nobody will support u apart from family  because it makes life difficult it add further pressure i was in debt less then a year and i nearly relapsed because of this thie was a new urgue i hadent experienced before  has i never took loans out to gamble and even when i went into my overdraft i took enough to get me through fortunately it was short lived but enough to get serious about my recovery because i had to do it on my own i got the same satifaction has someone coming out of poverty it changed me as a person

Hi Pugs

How are you getting on now ?