Hello,
Ive probably been gambling since the age of 12 and casino’s since I was 18, I am now 45 years old. I have had so many relapses and nothing has ever worked.  I’m in a well paid job at the moment but the project I am working on is coming to an end. Stupidity I have had a big relapse and spent all my tax money £16,000 or more I don’t want to look at the exact figure.Â
I am hoping I will beat this horrible disease which has attacked me all my adult life!! I used Gamstop which was great for UK casinos, and used Gamban for non uk casinos. I have hopefully self excluded myself from my final online casino and will change my life for my family
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Thanks for readingÂ
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Rambo007
Hi Rambo
Well done, first few days are the hardest aren't they. Good that you have the blocks in place that stop you gambling. I remember doing that and it was such a relief but then I thought, I don't want to spend the next year wanting to gamble. I gambled for 44 years and never gave up. More and more wasted time and money that I can never get back. I soon realised all of the lies that have harmed my nearest and dearest let alone friends so this had to be for good.Â
So 19th November 25, on that day I didn't want to gamble. Put in place Gamstop and Gamban plus complained so much with direct self exclusions that got on gamprotect as well lol. Did MOSES and SENSE plus the arcade systems etc just in case. So I now needed to replace the 6 hours per day I gambled. Wrote a list of things to do and then thought if I get an urge or feel depressed I can do these like go for a walk, clean the house etc. Started to build a support network up (I've put this on the new people section on the forum called do you want to stop gambling in case there is anything on there that might help). Then I started trying to rewire my brain. Got counselling free through this site !!!!.went into the chatrooms, started going to GA meeting in person and online. A couple of weeks later I started to feel completely different. I was talking to everyone and feeling connected to people and nature. I began to notice more by being present.
I started keeping a diary on here each day and then after 51 days I think, I shared my life story on here, all the bad bits which was utterly liberatingÂ
This is your journey. You can actually enjoy it but you need to find what works for youÂ
@lp5vut869c thanks Stu
Wow, what a liberating story. Sounds like you are well on the way to recovery.
I’ve never tried a forum and chatting about it online, so I’m hoping it will rewire my brain like you said.  I know where I want to be and what I need to do, easy to say I know.
I can’t bare to tell my love ones though for the embarrassment and guilt of money lost, missing family holidays and debt etc. So I will get there by myself and maybe help from others.Â
Fingers crossed, I can write on here again saying the journey has nearly ended and my life is where I want it to be.Â
Hi
In case you fancy reading a horror story, if you go onto the recovery diaries and look for "My Story" it's all thereÂ
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