I’ve lost enough money through gambling, I don’t intend on losing any more money on something that is ruining my life. I still have my family, some money, my home and my self respect and I don’t intend on losing them due to another relapse and wasting my time and effort on something that is hurting me and spend my time and effort with my family and looking forward to a happy future being gamble free. I have read many of stories about people in the same situation or worse than mines and reading them is a real eye opener. A shock to the system I never had before, I thought I was alone or there where very few people like me but really there are thousands going through what I have been through and with that I feel I am learning from others and their experiences with gambling. I only wish I contacted professionals for help a long time ago, but I was in denial, didn’t think it would help. Thought I could cope on my own, set deposit limits and stick to them, I couldn’t. I was constantly self excluding myself from gambling after just hours of signing up. It didn’t work I was constantly looking for more to sign up. When I couldn’t get on because of my exclusion, I was signing up in my partners name with their details and was back to square one. They did see constant gambling sites on their bank statement but where to afraid to approach me about it as I would have went crazy telling them it was none of their business and I know what I’m doing. I screwed up a lot of things due to my bank statements having constant gambling sites on it and have been declined for several thing due to that as it makes you a liability if you ever need a loan for something important or for that hire purchase Xmas present or something. You will be knocked back for everything. What would my life be now had I never gambled, I often think that. I know for sure I wouldn’t have ever felt those disgusted depressing traumatic feelings I have had losing as much money as I have on a GAME. I don’t know if this will help anyone else but I have a book to write in every day. My own personal recovery book to carry with me everywhere. I have written when I started gambling and the effects it’s had on myself and my family, everything. I will continue to write in that book every single day, about how I feel, how I’m coping through my recovery and write an every day reminder that I did not gamble that day and I will not gamble tomorrow. One day at a time is the start of a journey to many days of happiness.
All the best with your recovery Tricia. Gambling takes us to some really dark places. Bank statements free of gambling transactions look so much better.
Hi,
I can completely relate to your story. I know it’s hard to believe anyone can feel how you feel but we can.
i’m talking to you right now whilst at rock bottom. I’ve just told the love of my life that I’ve gambled (again) the third relapse myself during our 3 year relationship. I’ve lost it all and wracked up another £15k debt in a matter of weeks.
i owe nasty people and credit facilities. The nasty people are the worst because I can’t not pay them on time... even though right now that’s not an option.
i can feel your struggles, I think there’s no going back from what I’ve just done.
im now in contact with breakeven to arrange therapy as I feel I cannot control my actions. How strange is that, in a sense... my conciousness is who I am but I’m not in control of my actions!?
gambling is killing me and I’m sure it’s killing you, but just like anything in life it can be made better if you work at it. I’m willing to give up everything in my life to keep my partner, If you’re determined enough you can turn your life around.
you need to erase the person you are to become who you want to be.
Stay strong
Hi Tricia20091 and Mr.Regret,
Welcome to the forum and thank you for posting. Tricia20091, I'm pleased to see you have been able to learn from others and look forward to reading more of your posts in the future.
Mr.Regret, I'm sorry to hear you are having problems with the 'nasty people' in regard to your debts, have you considered having a look at the Stop Loan Sharks website in case it applies to your situation. http://www.stoploansharks.co.uk/
It's good that you're in touch with Breakeven.
Tricia20091 and Mr.Regret, if you need any more support you are both welcome to call the HelpLine 0n 0808 8020 133 or the NetLine.
Kind regards
Forum Admin
Your story is how mine used to be, but it doesn't have to be this way, I lost so much, only now can I see how ill it had made me, every month i would be left with nothing as I would gamble it all.Ive always had a addictive personality so there's never been any half measures in anything I've done, but with help and focusing on the real things in life that actually matter, gradually the pain slowly goes away, but it is a slow process and a process you need to go through but you will become a better person at the end of it, all the best x
Thank you everyone for all of your advice, support and kind words. So many people like myself trying to over come this horrible cycle, so many people on here looking for the help to stop it. I ever knew there where so many people going through what I am and have been through, it’s unbelievable. I’m am 7 days gambling free. I have been reading a lot of other peoples posts on here since I joined 7 days ago and it has really been helping me through this. Really quite an eye opener. Great feeling to know I am not alone and there are many people that have gone through this and not just trained to give helpful advice and help. I love the feeling waking up in the morning knowing I haven’t gambled a penny, not feeling the horrible sickening guilty feeling I use to.
Had an awful few days at work and my head went wandering in and out of thoughts, not the best thoughts tbh. Thinking to myself maybe ( if my partner allowed it) he could control what I gamble through his bank account and whatever limits he was to put in place through one of his accounts. He has a bet now and then but only £5 P/w, he is very controlled, wish I could have been like that. Thing is I know my partner would probably agree to it as he would want to keep the peace and would be afraid to tell me no incase I go of on one. Need advice, I don’t know if because of my addiction that this would even be a choice for me or do I just try forget about the thought of this.
I have spoken with my partner about what I wrote in my last post and asked him for his opinion about it and his reply was “ No I’m sorry but I will not be responsibly for feeding your gambling habit in any form of way or allow you to throw our hard earned money away on something that has been destroying your life as well as your family” He also stated to me that he has noticed a better person in me over the past week I have it been gambling., I have the colour back in my face and I’m happier and he loves seeing the old me coming back into the family. To show he is really supporting me through this he has also self excluded him self from his 2 betting sites yesterday ( he only gambled £5 P/w on football). And he has put all blocks on all devices in the house including his own. I did not go mad at him about what he said or done, I was relieved that he is deffo there 100% to help me through this and making sacrifices himself to help me even more. He also made me realise after our chat that if I can’t control my gambling addiction then don’t give the responsibility to someone else to control it for me as it will lead to going back to square one, but give others the responsibility to help me through this and continue to fight this addiction with them.
Hi Tricia
Great to hear that your partner is being so supportive in a strong way and not enabling you to gamble. Also that the impact of not gambling is already making you a happier person.
Cherish his support and use that as an added incentive not to throw that support back in his face by gambling again.
Have a great day
Muststop123
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
