Hello,Â
I have just started on this journey towards what I know will be a better life for me and my family.
The last couple of days I have been reviewing my life and how I got to this point. I have gambled pretty much for the last 37 years, mainly fruit machines and slots, which I think started as an escape from finding myself alone in a house at University in my first year.
Since then I have hidden the losses over many years with credit, loans and when they went wrong my amazing loving wife helped bail me out more than once.Â
I always earned a decent wage and blew thousands over the years, but always survived the worst. But this has not helped me I now realise, like the highs of gambling wins the narrow escapes just made me feel like I could always get away with it and would stop for a while.
I mostly gambled alone in pubs and bars at first and the birth of online gambling passed me by for a while. But maybe COVID and that period made me look to this more and over the last few years I have lost more and more as family circumstances took my wife and anchor on some reality away to care for her terminally ill sister and nephews.Â
I can't believe that I've let her down so much when she needed me the most. I can't get past that part at the moment and feel like I've been hollowed out inside. I can't understand how I let it happen and why I kept it up after so many resets and restarts.
I am only a few days into my journey but I am determined to change and make myself the person I should have been all along.Â
Hi Kaff,,,,,, ur story resonates,,,,,, its time and money thats been wasted for the last time mate....... lets get u on a positive course...... a new direction that will serve you and your family better...... The first month is the hardeest.....getting thru the rough times at first and making the best decisions in early days is so so important.....lets get you thru the first month......
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Some find themsleves short on money for food etc in the first month but rest assured if u stick with recovery and stick with gamcare things are garunateed to improve....
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Kepe coming back lets grow your self esteem and confidence and make u the person u want to be.
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All the best adam
Hi Kaff
As Adam said, one of the best things you can do is log on here everyday and come to as many chatrooms as possible. We are very similar that we both gambled for a long time. For the last ten years my addiction to online just grew and grew.Â
As a brief synopsis I would suggest reading what I put on Charsbar's post on here.
Blocks...friction away from the first bet
Connection, start talking to people and opening up
Mindfulness, get working on rewiring your brain towards being a better person and a simpler, better life.Â
As Adam said, first month is really about survival. Then you can start working on rewiring your brain. Gambling is never the problem. Gambling is the solution for whatever we can't face up to in life.Â
It's worth trying GA in your area in person or online. Gamfam do zoom meetings which are very good.Â
Speak to the advisors on here about getting some counselling
What you put into recovery you will get back out ten fold
Hi Kaff
How has your first week been ? Any challenges ?
Hi Kaff
How are going getting on ?
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