New here

hi char..... welcome again....... youve got gamstop...... so well done...... the first month is allways the hardest...... many come here without money for food or to get to work etc.....but know this if u stay in recovery here and keep coming on gamcare youre life will get soo much better....

So welcome and lets start something great

adamxx

Hi Charsbar

Following on from what Adam said, good to meet you on the chatroom tonight and well done for admitting to yourself that you have a problem. That's a bigger step than you think and you have found Gamcare and a community that can support you. As I mentioned in the chat, I gambled for 44 years and am not 137 days GF. A lot of that is down to the support on this site from people like Adam, Tazman, MonkeyAnn, Johnny, Henry, Pinklady and many more. We are a tribe of people with one common goal. 

I can only talk from my point of view but my gambling for the last ten years was online and was utter chaos. I ended up doing a huge amount of damage to my mind, my thought patterns, physical health and an incredible amount of harm to others. It's very true in GA that gambling leads to 3 endings - prison, insanity or death. I've done some awful things in my gambling career so far removed from my morals. But I am learning from my mistakes, not to belittle them but I am a believer of the following saying....The past is history, the future is a mystery and today is a gift which is why it's called present.

The fact that you have blocks in place is great. The more friction you can get between yourself and that first bet is important. I decided to go further than gamstop and gamban, just to be safe I added MOSES and SENSE in as well to be safe. I made a decision not to do any form of gambling including lottery, raffles, crypto and trading. Not even playing for a gentlemans bet at golf.

Once that was in place I blocked my bank card from gambling transactions and set up payment plans with the credit cards and loans. I knew I couldn't move forward worrying about debt as well. You have to put recovery first in all of this. If the plane is going down, you have to put your own mask on before being able to help save anyone else or you both won't make it. 

The next thing I started to work on was isolation. The opposite of addiction isn't sobriety, it's connection. I spent years hiding my gambling and isolating from friends and family. I was there with them but simply not present. So, I started opening up. I had all ready told everyone so I would know who would be in my support network but I started really talking about how I feel. This also builds accountability that other people know I am in recovery so I don't want to let myself down or anyone else.

While this was going on and another help to be present was that I came on the chatrooms here every day, wrote my story on here (warts and all from start to finish), I joined the get evive community in America and also GA Gamblers Anonymous. I have been to a lot of meetings in my region and also accessed online ones on the gamblersinrecovery website where they run 24/7

At GA I started the 12 steps program to start working on my thinking. As part of this each sponsee is asked to write 10 things they are grateful for each morning, meditate and pray using the serenity prayer which is a way of life for anyone....

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.

A couple of tips about urges....it's a scientific fact that through gambling we have wired our brain to need a lot of dopamine. Studies have shown the we get a hit thinking about placing a bet, placing the bet, watching the bet and after a while there is no hit seeing the result. Each of these hits is the same as a herion hit. And if you are playing slots imagine how many times per day we put ourselves through it. Now there are many good ways to also get dopamine. When you get an urge which will only last a maximum of half an hour, take your mind off it with walking, crosswords, any form of exercise or brain work...all give out dopamine. Ring someone as connection also gives dopamine, even sneezing does by the way lol

I've watched a lot of recovery videos on youtube. I've joined gamfam for the zoom meetings which are excellent. 

I spend a lot of time working on myself. Each day I try to be the best version of myself. That means a balance of recovery work, spending time and helping family and friends plus the community. If I am honest, open, kind and loving each day then I am happy. I can't do that if i gamble, but it also means i don't want to gamble.

Hopefully see you in the chatrooms again soon

Hi Adam / Stuart.

Thank you for all the support you have already given me. 

I know there is a long road ahead but I am definitely in the right place!

Maybe see u both later in the chat !

Take care

char xx