My first post...

Hi Charlie, 

I am in a very similar position to yourself. I am also unsure how my partner has stuck by me through all of this but somehow he is still here.

I joined the chat room tonight and I found it extremely helpful. Everyone was so kind and helpful

hi, and welcome.......that new faith in how u can improve ur life for u and ur family will really help u in this quest........welcome to the site ..... if you stick with recovery and gamcare ur life will dramatically improve....... get thru the first month (its usually the toughest) and ur self confidence and self esteem will grow i promise.....

All the best and welcome  adam

Hi Charlie

Well done for finding Gamcare. Do you have gamban in place on all your devices ? I guess you do as you said you have all the blocks in place...also it's worth blocking gambling transactions at your bank as well

Try and come onto the chatrooms here which are text only so no cameras

Have you tried GA ? You said one day at a time so i guess you have ?

Your faith can get you through this. Your higher power can set the pathway to rewiring your brain to be present each day

Hello to Charsbar, adam123 and Stuart...

Thank you for your replies, I really do think that my faith is going to help get me through this, but I really need the blocks in place, so I have Gamban on my phone.  I have contacted my bank and the block on gambling transactions is on.  

I do have a concern despite the block with my bank, I am able to access these online casinos on my work laptop because of how the system is set up.  Would you advise me to speak with hr so they could install the Gamban software on my laptop as I wouldn't be able to install it myself as I don't have admin privileges.  It is a tricky subject but any advice would be welcome, I mean the block with my bank should be enough but I just don't even want to have that access to the sites.

Out of sight, out of mind and all that... 

I did come onto that chat the other night and I intend to pop by again this week.  I'm also trying to not overwhelm myself as I understand that my mind needs a rest after everything.

I came out last night to one of our very close friends, and it does feel like coming out for the second time but in a different way, its traumatic but she was extremely understanding and supportive, I so wish I had reached out for help much sooner but wishing won't do anything, it's about what I do now isn't it.  As time is passing I'm feeling even more positive and optimistic about the future. 

I know this month will be the worst, but I'm almost 1 week GF, I've got this.

When I saw my partners reaction, it just broke me, completely broke me.  I never ever want to put him through anything like this ever again because we both deserve so much better and it's that feeling I've got to hold on to. 

I want revenge against these evil operators, I now know that the way to do that is to not give them another second of my time and money. 

I don't think I'm quite ready for a GA meeting, maybe some point in the future but I do recognise that I need to see someone face to face for counselling, and rewire my brain and my referral is with Gamcare London so let's see what this week brings. 

Right now I'm just trying to enjoy the very simple things in life, the sunshine, the sounds of the birds (and woodpeckers here where we live), having an ice cream, a hug from my beautiful partner and affection from my gorgeous bruiser boy of a cat.  Simple things, but they mean a lot. 

Hi Charlie,

Your story sounds very similar to mine.

my last bet was July 21st 2025 and everything came out on 25th July 2025.

I hit rock bottom and couldn’t see any way out, but my amazing wife stuck by me for the 2nd time and I have been through my counseling with break even since these dates.

but trust me things can change and can change quickly. 
I moved home last month into our beautiful forever home.

im more engaged with my children and wife, I was there before but just as a shell, I wasn’t being the dad the kids deserved.

my wife knows all my banking, we pull a credit report each month, this isn’t her checking up on me, this is me showing her she can trust me.

The pain at the start was raw and very emotional but it slowly gets better ☺️.

im nine months gf on 21st April, and those 9 months have been the worst and best of my life.

shaking the chains of this terrible disease and addiction will be the best thing you have ever done.

good luck and we are always here to chat.

Hi Charlie

Yes absolutely talk to hr. It's the responsibility of any company to allow Gamban

Have you self excluded with Gamstop, Moses and sense ? Even if you don't use bookies or casinos it's worth stopping any outlets. Do you have accountability where someone can either look after your money or at least look at your banking app ?

The more multi layers friction you can have between you and that first bet is vital..I have a post it note in my car which says don't do it. 

@lp5vut869c

Hi Stuart, 

OK I have asked our head of hr to give me a call tomorrow so that we can get IT to install gamban on my desktop. 

I am already with GAMSTOP and I have contacted MOSES. 

My salary will be going into my partners bank account from now on. So I think I'm doing everything I can to protect us. 

Out of sight, out of mind. 

1 week GF, it's been the worst week of my life but also one of the best, knowing that there's a much brighter future ahead and that I'm on the right road. 

Really good foundations there Charlie.

In time you start to repair your brain and start to appreciate the good things in life. 

Hi Charlie

How has your week gone ?

Hi Stuart 

Nice to hear from you. 

The first week has been incredibly tough. But I do feel like I have turned a corner however I know that I cannot afford to be complacent, not one little bit. 

I now find myself looking forward to every day, spending time with my partner who has been unwavering with his love and support and we are planning things in the future, not huge things but there are things now to look forward to, and aim for which is important. 

I'm already half way through the second week, I've found myself thinking a lot less about gambling (and everything that it has done to us).

Still, one day at a time I think is a healthy approach. 

I know that I am getting a grip on this and it's important to not lose sight. 

I'm still waiting for gamcare London to contact me to get face to face counselling underway so I'm hoping to hear from them next week. 

I hope that life is treating you well Stuart. 

Best, 

Charlie 

Hi Charlie

First week for me was dreadful, in fact the first month before it started to get slightly easier, not easy. The fact that you have your partners support is amazing and I think you are going to need him. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that be mindful that you will have harmed him in some ways so be caring to him. From my own experience, I would say complete honesty is the way forward and completely empty the dustbin. Anything that comes out further down the line will be ten times as bad and be a knock back for him.

Great to hear about the counselling. It's not just about stopping gambling, it's about retraining the mind to not want to gamble at all. It's also important to try and do something on recovery each day.

Hi Charlie

How are you finding things buddy ? Still moving forward ? 

Hi Stuart (and to everyone),

I'm doing well thank you.  Well, I have made it, it's coming up to 1 month GF.  And pay day is upon me, I think this has been the hardest month of my life but knowing that I have all of the physical blocks in place is going to keep me well and that's what this is about, keeping me well. 

I have gamban on my phone, work have agreed to putting it on my work laptop and I have the gambling blocks on my bank account. 

No more am I going to be a slave to these online casinos, I can finally start living life, paying my bills and actually enjoying the money that I work so hard for. 

My partner and I booked a trip to Berlin for June, we're off to the cinema tomorrow which I'm excited about, it's a particular film I've been waiting so long to be released, we have lunch with friends in soho on Saturday.  

To anyone reading this especially to those on their day 1, YOU CAN DO THIS, and you can make it.  Don't get me wrong I can never afford to be complacent.  But for me, it's out of sight and out of mind.  That means, blocks... Everywhere.

If you are serious about beating this illness blocks are the only way, and talking, and reading.  Honestly I can't tell you how much reading stories here, and popping in from time to time to talk helps, you know you are not alone.  But, get those blocks with your bank, and the GAMBAN subscription, it will be the best £29.99 you will ever spend.  Get it installed on every device.

There is a life beyond gambling, I promise you. 

Hi Charlie

Such a positive post to read this morning and I can't say well done enough to you. I'm so pleased your partner is supporting you and they work are doing the same. I think a lot of people reading your post will take heart from the courage you showed to tell work about your situation and they have supported by allowing Gamban to be installed. I personally think Gamban should be on all company equipment as standard.

Sounds like you have a date night at the cinema. When was the last time when you were gambling that you did that with him ? Were you truly present ? And a trip to Berlin to look forward to. 

As you say, blocks and accountability are the foundations to recovery. Once they are in place you can start concentrating on building connection and retraining the brain to appreciate what we all have and not escape to a casino online.

I hope you are celebrating the one month milestone in some format and take aim at the 50 day target. One small tip, once you get past 100 days, if you like milestones, it's sometimes easier to count down to the milestone. It's a smaller number each day