Hello and Good Afternoon,
My name is Luke and I am 25. For the past 3 years, I have been horribly addicted to gambling, although this has been on and off. I stopped for 3 months last year, and then a month earlier this year.
Since yesterday, I haven´t gambled, although it has been at the back of my mind all day. Specifically, I was only ever addicted to online, in play football betting on my phone. When that notification flashed up, or the bet displayed a tick next to it, or the bet went to suspended, or pending, or changed from red to green, etc, it was that moment where I was most vulnerable and most in pursuit of. The losses, in there thousands now, have crept up on me, although at the time, I never felt phased by them.
Last time round, I stopped for my girlfriend. She has no idea that I am still going through relapse, although my addiction has gotten so bad that I am, from time to time, borrowing money from her to get me be by after I have blown all my own cash on gambling. Sometimes I even use PayPal to deposit money, which is linked to her bank account. I have wasted a couple of hundred in this way, and I have vowed never to sink that low again.
The main reason why I have decided to stop again was money. Everytime I have quit in the past, as soon as I relapse, I tell myself that I can control it, that I can set aside a bit of money here or there to have a bit of fun. The sad reality is that I can´t, and I don´t. My brother visited yesterday, and he set me out on a budget for the next 9 months to get myself into a positive financial situation as I currently have quite a bit of debt.
I did have the GamBan app, which was great, although they are no longer offering this for free (unless you guys know how I can get it for free). For some reason, It wont allow me to do the web based gamstop, whereby they block access and blacklist you from signing up, although I would like to pursue this.
Does anyone know of anyway in which I can stop myself from gambling? I have payday twice this month, and the money I get at this point is crucial to my long term financial success. When those cravings come on Friday morning to place a bet, I want to be protected against the dark arts of gambling.
Its great to meet all of you, and I look forward and appreciate all responses. With your help, I will make it past this weekend and through to next week without relapsing.
We will get through this, one day at a time.
(If there are any whatsapp support groups going, or anyone wants to get on started, please let me know)
Hi Luke,
Welcome to the GamCare forum.
Well done on recognising the problem with your gambling, and for taking steps to overcome it.
You’ve highlighted your urges and where you feel most vulnerable and you've also mentioned the steps you've taken to avoid gambling, including installing blocking filters. You’ve shown in the past that you have been able to stop gambling for periods of time but acknowledge that you are struggling to control it alone. You sound like you’re now looking to prevent further lapses as gambling is creating financial hardship for you.
Some of our forum users have described additional ways they try to limit their freedom to gamble online, by arranging their finances in ways that slow down how quickly they can access their money, or limiting their ability to spend money online. You might read forum posts here where members talk about changing their bank account to remove the facility to spend online, instead using a basic cash card that allows you to withdraw cash on the high street.
I am pleased that you have such a supportive brother who has helped put a budget in place to help with these debts, but I also wondered whether you have considered getting some professional debt advice too? You’ll find some great advice on our website https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/finance-and-debt-management/
It also sounds like your girlfriend has been supportive in the past, but isn’t currently aware that you’ve relapsed. How would you feel about discussing this with her as you move forward?
In regard to Gamban, we do have referral link that through Gambleaware offers a free license for 12 months. Do call us on the HelpLine and we'll give you the link. If you need to contact Gamban direct their email address is [email protected].
I’m not sure what the technical difficulty is you’re having with Gamstop, but they have a Freephone number you can contact them on: 0800 138 6518 They also have a webchat on their website which you can find on this page: https://www.gamstop.co.uk/update
Many forum users find that reading the forum inspires them to persist with their efforts to sustain abstinence. You might also be aware that GamCare provides additional support too, for example free treatment appointments. Please feel welcome to talk things through with a GamCare adviser on 0808 8020 133 or on our Netline. The advisers can provide emotional support and helpful information, as well as facilitate referrals to treatment appointments if you'd like to access that service too.
You mentioned the idea of starting up a support group, so I wondered whether you have considered Gamblers anonymous? They run weekly meetings that you many of our forum users find beneficial. You can find where your local meetings take place here: https://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/find-a-meeting
I’m really pleased you’ve signed up to the forum as it offers a wealth of information and support. I look forward to reading your future posts as you continue your journey.
Take care
ChrisK
Forum Admin
Thank you for your advice ChrisK. I really appreciate the positive message of support that you gave and reading over that kept me strong.
I am still currently gamble free, although I have to confess it is harder than I thought. Right now I am surviving on the fact that I dont want to stoop so low as to use my girlfriends hard earned cash for such nefarious means, but, come Friday, I will have my own money. So really, I suppose, that when the hard work begins.
I have downloaded gamban, and right now, every time I feel the urge creep up on me, I look at my brothers budget and realise that each day spent gamble free is one day closer to being debt free.
I will report back with an update on Friday.
I will also use the coming hour or 2 to digest the details of your post.
Thanks so much.
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