Feel so low today

I know how you feel, I broke the law several times to gain access to funds and was nearly put away for it. I ask myself everyday why I ended up with this addiction but the truth is there is no answer.

The only answer is to help yourself. only you can help yourself. You may feel like there is no way out, I felt like that and I had to let it all out to my parents and tell them what I did. There was a lot of anger, tears etc but you have got to go through all that and take whatever comes your way on the chin. It's the only way I'm afraid.

I haven't been on here long, but I have spent the past 3 hours reading people's stories and there is always someone out there at is worse off than you. There are also stories from people who have been where we have been and have turned their lives around. My advice to you is to stay on here and read some stories. You need to stop breaking the law in order to try and fix things. The only way you can fix this is by stopping and facing up to it all.

You say you cant hurt your family in jail or gamble there. Both hugely untrue. Do you have any idea the devastation you going to jail will inflict on your family. As for gambling in jails its endemic, everything is wagered on. Time to stop feeling sorry for yourself & take some real action. Things dont improve with wishful thinking. Get real life help & break the cycle.

Unfortunately we all want to change when we hit ROCK BOTTOM and that generally means we have gambled way too much and are in deep deep financial trouble. I dont know your full story marko but i really hope you dont go to jail and things work out. I hope the penny will drop. Its a terrible illness and i want away from it..2nd day clear...feels like longer. Good luck marko

Hi Marko
I am sorry to hear about your situation but, you have an illness/ a nasty addiction. It is not about being week. Writing on here is a sign of strength as you are reaching out for help. I phoned the Gamcare helpline & suggest that would be a good starting point for you. No one is ever too damaged for repair. Everyone has the potential to get well with help.
Take care
Roxi 🙂

Thanks for the words of encouragement you are right i stopped gambling for over twenty years never even gave

It a secound thought till a few years ago.

But the damge i have inflicted because i am a stupid greedy man at my age can not be repaired when i stop gambling all the pain hurt and damage floods my concense basically its my trigger.

If the police do arrive to arrest me i am not even going to fight the case i will admitt my guilt and face the consequence's of my actions and they will be servere. only a couple of months ago i was given a offical caution for the same offence so this time it really does serve me right. there was no reason for me to do what i did other then i wanted to feed my habbit and needed funds to do it. i had just had a good week before the incident spent quality time with my kids on holiday.

Had no real pressing money issues just wanted to gamble
I have gone to the extreme measure of getting rid of my mobile so I can not get messages from casinos,
no point changing the sim I will just give them my new number don't gamble on line anymore no bank account am going to delete my email accounts so I cant receive mails from them.
My ex wife has had enough of my c**P so I cant go to her to hold any money I get family have disowned me so I have to figure away where I have no funds at my disposal to gamble. considering going to my GP but he was not helpful last time.
My be if I can treat my depression it mite help me to stop. if I could work again I truly believe I could stop but I have destroyed ant chance of that by having a criminal record. but I will try to stop gambling

Hello Marko123321

I'm sorry to hear about what's been going on. It sounds like a really difficult time and it’s great you've been able to reach out for help. I can see you've already had some support from other forum users.

Following your disclosure of breaking the law, I wanted to make you aware of our policy on criminal acts that are reported on the forum: http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/disclosure-criminal-activity-forum. Whilst you have not clearly stated what has happened, it may be best to think carefully about what further details you would like to share on this forum before posting. If you do disclose details relating to a criminal offence then we may have an obligation to share this with the relevant agencies. This does not limit your access to our support services in any way and I would encourage you to call us on the helpline or netline to talk about your gambling in more depth (both services are open daily from 8am - midnight). Contact details for the helpline and netline can be found at the top of each page on our website.

We also offer online and face-to-face counselling, and both services are free. Perhaps it would be a good idea to focus on accessing more support in this way at the moment to enable you to talk about your gambling and the impact it's had on you, your family and your mental health. You mentioned going to your GP, which sounds like a good next step. This would allow you to talk about your depression and find out what help is available. I understand that you would like to work again and feel this would help you to stop gambling. Keeping busy and having a focus can certainly help when trying to stop gambling, but I would encourage you to take this step by step as it sounds like there's a lot going on for you at the moment. Focus on looking after yourself first and gradually you can tackle other aspects of your life that have been affected by gambling.

We're here for you every step of the way.

Best wishes

Laura

Update.

Have not neen arrested yet.

five days without a bet.

Getting rid of my phone was a good move.

Not getting any reminders or free bets.

well done marko , i lost all my rent money two months in a row in bout a hour on a FOTB and the lows were so intense that i understand what a dark place you find urself , i think judges / police only want to put u in prison as a last resort as its costs a lot anyway and also lot ppl get worse inside so lets hope this is ur rock bottom without being punished more , im started to climb the ladder , im in work got a family but still broke so im here to admit im a CG and talk to fellow minded strugglers to gain strenth together , nothing is over til its over you know that , ur be such a strong person if we get through this together

Gambling takes all our money...making us unable to pay bills and survive.

Gambling takes away our friends...we push them away as we want to be alone whilst 'in action'.

Gambling hurts relationships and destroys them. Nobody wants to be with a gambler...their moods..angry and selfish.

In conclusion..gambling is a totally destructive illness that will take everything you have until you are a shell of your former self. Lets BEAT this together . Good luck to all

Thanks for support it does help.

Had access to funds today.

But did not gamble

Said all this before even lied on this forum pretending i had stopped but not his time

This has to be the end of the lies stealing or it will be my end thats for sure.

Wont be easy i know but idid it before in my youth started playing video games to qwell the boredom.

Feeling very angry mostly at my self snapped at my kids today for no good reason.

Will have to try to stop taking it out on what family i have left.

Hi Mark 12312
I have been GF for over a month and it feels wonderful, I too like you was spending money I didn't have on online slots (my demon) and having no money left for anything else not even paying bills sometimes,I hit rock bottom. So I decided to tell my fiancГ©e and come clean and stop gambling for good,I'm so glad I did. I've even got money left the day before payday, I can't remember the last time that happened. You have come to the right place on your journey to be GF ...good luck and beat this demon addiction.

-

Stay strong, you know this is no way to live. You are worthy of so much more.

allainepo wrote: Hello again marko. I think the same as yourself when you say your gambling is a kind of self harming. The times I have wanted to lose or wanted to get caught by the police would seem crazy to any sane person. I am no counsellor marko I wouldn't be so condescending to think I could offer you counselling and I will only say this as it is relevant to me. I think my gambling came about as a consequence of anxiety and insecurity from a very young age and I wonder if you have had any thoughts yourself on how yours started? Like myself we know the harm gambling causes but we have drifted back into it many times. Not trying to justify what we have done I am only trying to make the point of trying everything we can to quit the gambling. Explore every avenue buddy and never quite on quitting. I am just hoping that you will find what works for you and get some peace and quiet back into your life. You have to look after yourself marko. Gambling companies care nothing for you, for any of us. Any company that makes a profit from people's misery should be treated with the contempt they deserve. Keep fighting marko, within the law keep fighting and making better decisions.

Hi allainepo.

I have also suffered from extreme anxiety from a young age.

covered it up really well in my younger years with bravado.

I wont pretend to have any expertise in this area but from just reading posts on this and other forums theres no doubt in my mind, depression and anxiety play a big part in a lot of CG,s destructive behaviour. .

The really sad thing is i know this but keep repeating the same Patten anyway.

I developed a gambling addiction in my younger years but managed to stop by replacing it with an new addiction computer games believe it or not.

Stopped gambling for over twenty years. but burned my eys sight out to much time in front of computer sceens

So i stopped playing computer games and reverted to my old addiction .

Wish i was addicted to some thing bennificial. LoL

My ex wife once said to me you have to be addicted to something. she is right.

I really don't know where to go from here I am lost. home gone, job gone, savings gone.

i have said this many times before all the bloody money in the world would not give me back what i really wont my home family and self respect.

and the respect my kids once had for me.

don't wont to put you guys on a downer not in a good place today,

did not and will not gamble today though

I really hope you and Rach get the chance you need to rebuild your lifes.

Most CG i have met are not bad people but have done bad things to feed there addiction.

There have been lots of studys in to this in new york they even have special courts for CG's that have commited Crimes to pay for the addiction.

My advice is keep reading the success storys on the forums.

There much more bennificial for recovery.

And never let your guard down we will always be GC there no moderartion for people like us.