Hello, first day here I'm Jake

See you there my friend and don't beat yourself up so much. It's the addiction. If I told you some of the things I've done to fuel my addiction then you might be able to put a line under it. You can't forget the past but to recover you mustn't dwell on it

Have you reached out to gamblers anonymous ? They can meet you before a meeting and take you in so it's not daunting 

Stuart

@lp5vut869c I haven't reached out yet I wanted to first do some email support and better understand where I'm at before going to anything like that, I'm also not sure a group setting is the most beneficial for myself in person and time is hard to find and I know that might sound like an excuse but I work long hours and when I'm not working I have my boys and that time is precious to me

Day 5, rough night sleep made it tough to get up and get to work with any motivation but I got there and then my colleague and boss arrived and we had a good open chat and he decided to show solidarity and close his casino account too and that was a nice touch, we have had a productive morning and I'm feeling good, waiting to here back from therapist and trauma support for past traumas which is playing on my mind a little, it's a lot to unpack. And then coming into Feb I'm unsure if I should work out a way to get some money to surprise the wife on valentine's day but know we aren't in a good space but want to show regardless of where we are I do still care and love her and want to celebrate that, any thoughts 

Hi Jake

That's lovely of your boss to do that and I'm glad you have told them to get support there as well.

I will let the female members on here answer about the valentine's question but all I would say is don't go over the top. Something that doesn't cost a lot but means a lot if you can. Could you cook her favourite meal maybe ? 

I'm expecting lots of meal suggestions for us all . What type of place do you work mate 

Stuart

I wasn't going to go wild maybe just some flowers and a take away or something maybe watch a movie together kinda deal. And I currently work in a village pub where we produce as much as possible in house so we make some of the bread, ice cream and the burgers all in house and don't buy in any finished product. But I have been very fortunate with my career to have worked in some of the UK and world's best restaurants and learnt from some world class chefs. And I'm more than happy to share ideas, help with ideas or share recipes or pictures of my food. Hope you are well Stuart 

Day 6: Clearing the Air

I actually managed a decent sleep last night. I think a lot of that came down to the talk I had with my wife.

It wasn’t a magic fix, but it was the most productive conversation we’ve had in a long time. We both managed to lower our guard a bit and just be honest about how we’re feeling. It was a relief to talk about how we can support each other without it turning into an argument or a guilt trip. Just getting those things out in the open made the house feel a little less tense.

Waking up felt easier because of it. I got up with my son and made him breakfast, and it was nice to just have a normal morning routine without my head spinning with worry.

I’ve got a busy day at work ahead, which should keep me distracted. Still tapping my foot waiting for the specialist therapy response regarding the trauma stuff, but I’m trying to be patient. For now, the email support is doing the job, and the chat rooms have been a good space to vent. It helps knowing I can say what I’m thinking there without being judged. Just understanding and encouragement from people walking the same path.

Hi Jake, Well Done to you for taking such good steps. How are things going at the moment? Have you spoken to any of the team at Gam Care or a counsellor? 

As an affected other of gambling, I can totally understand where your wife is coming from, as I have been in a similar situation and trust takes a very long time to build and there has to be boundaries in place. My partner and I have couples counselling together through Break Even. I don't know if that is something you would consider, but it's been very helpful for us and even though there are still areas I will never be able to trust my partner with, we have still come a very long way and are just trying to move forward together. 

I'm wishing you all the best. Let us know how things go. 

Kind Regards, 

Jade 

@pertwnj0u2 good morning, I am in a good place at. Currently I have been speaking to email support, I'm awaiting response from counciling and trauma therapy. Me and the wife have spoken about therapy as a couple and it is something we both think is a good idea however currently individually arm we got a lot of things happening and lot of therapy and or help so are going to wait a little while till we are on better terms and gave dealt or atleast started to deal with individual issues. I understand it's going to take time to rebuild, and we are definitely talking more and it's less awkward and tense around the house, still not enjoying the sofa but equally understand why I'm there.

Hi Jake

How has your week been ? Any significant improvements mate ?

Stuart

@lp5vut869c evening Stu, i have been posting updates on my new topic under recovery diaries just don't want to be the new guy forever, but today was a hard day just about to do day 12 entry now, hope you are well mate

Hi mate

I've sent you a message on Evive. Will have a read but hope you are ok mate 

Stuart