Help needed please

Posted by: Sarah1976

Good morning ? 

 

it is day 6 for me today.  I have been on this site everyday and sent lots of replies to lots of people and read loads from the inspirational to the highly emotional.

i realize I am not alone, not the only woman and not the only person to have wasted thousands on this demon.  I feel less stupid and gullible, more understood and not judged.

I hope to continue giving my comments to people and hope to be as understanding as they have been.

i am someone who is funny in day to day life but I appreciate that may not be appreciated in this forum.  I want to make sure things don’t come across as flippant or uncaring.  Sometimes you need to laugh.  In my humble opinion.

so I am at day 6.  Heading determinedly to double digits. Worried about the weekend as all day Saturday I will be looking after dad and if he is comfy or sleeping I am limited as to what I can do and that is when I will be tempted.  I plan to come on here as much as I can without becoming comment overload lady.

 

i hope everyone has a gf day and me too.

 

take care and a big thank you to you all.

Hi Sarah 🙂 

That post resonates with me deeply as throughout the time I've been here  and still today I've always tried to see the funny side of things in the respect of what I and other's do to ourselves . 

I have always been quite Jovial in life  and have much amusing banter with all the customers that frequent my business , however when I was at my worst with addiction those happy moment's really did disappear from my life but I'd always put a face on to allow me to continue gambling and for others to see . 

One of the first thing's I noticed after a couple of months of being gamble free was the " Being able to enjoy life moment's " reappearing   again and which have stayed with me along this journey , I have upset a couple of people on here along the way I might add but that was down to me not reading the situation and I obviously apologised so beware it can happen . 

Since day one I've tried not to feel self pitying as it was all my doing and accept full responsibility for my addiction but I can't help but laugh at myself for what I    (who always though of himself as a pretty normal fella )  had done . 

Addiction turns you into something you would never wish to be and to a point that you become unrecognisable to yourself , so when clarity returns and you find life amusing again why wouldn't you have a chuckle as it's one of the bonuses  ? :)) . 

I'd just done the biggest single thing in my life for many years , simply by giving up gambling and turning my back on it , so what's not to be happy about ? . 

  " Laughter indeed can sometimes be the best medicine " . :)) 

If ever you need somewhere to see the funny side and scribble some notes  then my diary " The Hotel California " is always open to people like yourself  :)) 

Have a great Day and congratulations on day 6 :)) 

Very well said dear Dave, keep it up; in near future definitely we shall over come thanks

Hi sarah

How's your day been,has everything been ok at your parents

Hi lee

been a tough day with dad.  Mum has been out this afternoon so been on my own.  He has good days and bad.  Been bad today but on the plus side no time to think about gambling.  Hope the twins are having a lovely time and you have been out in the sun if you have had it

sarah x

Hi sarah

Yeah we had the sun today its been boiling,im not a fan of warm Weather myself but we've just been to a play centre and out for our tea and we've not long been home.

Sorry you've had a bad day,yeah that is a plus you've had no time to think about gambling but i know that wont be feeling like much consolation at the moment cos i have bad days with layla too and know how draining it can make you feel.

Hope your ok x

Hi Sarah 

I was just wondering if you were ok iv not seen any posts from you for a few days now and was hoping everything is still going well for you. 

I had a bit of a slip on Friday, I was just out getting some shopping and I dont not know what made me do it cos I haven't had any urges at all for the last 5 weeks but I was passing a bookies and I went in and put £10 in the machine, I lost that and as soon as I have any kind of loss all I  think is that I want my money back so I carried on, I put £60 in and won £90 in the end, I managed to walk out with that but I felt horrible and don't know why I even went in there, I gave the 30 I won  to my little sister it felt like dirty money and I didn't want it, I'm looking into the nationwide bookies self exclusio now so hopefully will do that soon but its back to square one for me. 

Hope everything has been ok with you

Hi Lee

no I have been ok.  Been trying to stay offline in the evening so been doing other stuff as a distraction.  I am all good.  Sorry you had a slip but good that so little and you quickly stopped.  Good that you probably gave away your winnings as it will hopefully mean you have not profited and therefore the rush won’t be there.

also whilst not well done.  I do think when someone slips and it’s a relatively small amount that’s good.  When I slip it’s landslide type!!!!!!!  

How are you? 

Sarah x

I suppose you should do what you like. Moreover if the gambling makes you feel uncomfortable.

Hi Sarah 

I'm good thanks and things are going well. Yeah it was good that it was a small amount but I'm usually the same as you and would lose a massive amount and I would have it was just the fact that I got my money back that I was able to walk away. I don't even know what made me go in there because I'd had no urges to bet but afterwards I felt horrible so hopefully that's a good sign that I will stay away now.

I'm glad things are still going well for you, that's probably wise staying offline as much as you can in the evenings, have you had any urges whilst your staying in your parents at the weekends 

Hi lee

no while at mums I tend to be up Uber early with dad so by the time I have been in chat from 8 to 9 its bed time.

sad but true 

how are you?

sarah x