hi all just a little intro to my self im 39 and a really bad addict in all. I forst started when young on the fruties i woild go out for the night but buy one drink head to the fruit machine and play then next thing im back at the bar changing notes. then in a hour i would have to walk home from loosing it all. i stopped gambling for years as im am addict in everyway im a recovering alcoholic and still in treatment for heroin. i pass from one to the other but now you can gamble on your phone im signing up to everysite getting bonuses and was doing well. now i jjst canot stop if i win it goes straight back on until i loose. i have cheated .borrowed 1000s off mt parents from lies and tales of a paymemt im ment to get and can pay them from that. everyday i have to make a new lie up to why money not in my bank yet to pay them back. I just cannot stop morning night im checking my phone for a free bonus. if i exclude myself from the sites i just cheat and find away round it. it has only just dawned on me the height of my addiction and what im doing to family i feel like the worse human on earth but just canot stop . im at yhe point a win is the only way i can pay people back im that deluded. sorry for the long intro bit i feel a little better getting off my cgest as i havnt even told my girlfriend .thanx
And how does that make you feel?
Just by writing this you are indicating that you want to stop the impulses. Since I went through Allen Cars book about stoping gambling easily I picked up how he refers to the addiction as being an itch that we can not stop scratching. Now if you can imagine for a min this itch (whatever it is that itch represents) Then imagine you itching it. Then look at the outcome of that scratch and then weigh it up. It does not do itself justice does it.Â
Whether you say you can't or can do something you are right in both. You are the footballer om your own pitch if you run right or left it will always be up to you. Your parents and girlfriend can only cheer on from the spectator stand but what you do with the ball is your choice. SO! For any progress you have to make a choice first and try and stick with it otherwise you will only continue to scratch that itch and what happens when you scratch too long? yep, damage.
Talk to the counsellors here they can help you with the next step.
Good luck in your recovery!
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