Hi Everyone,
So today is my birthday, I have no money and lots of debt. All from financial spreadbetting which I have been doing for about three years.
I think my main problem has been that I have been successful at times, making fairly significant sums of money and "planning" to withdraw it so I can pay off debt. But instead I pretty much always end up thinking I can make a little bit more, rather than waiting for a good opportunity I jump straight back in and end up losing so I then try to 'revenge trade' to make back what I lost. Obviously not thinking properly and so just lose more.
I hate to calculate what I've lost but it must be near on £100k over the last three years. It got really bad in October and I admitted to my family that I think I have a problem, they helped me out with some money for that month, but instead I ended up going straight back to trading trying to make back what I've lost.
I have to stop and not trade possibly forever but I think at least 6-12 months to break this cycle. And I need to pay some debt off before it crushes me, I have a good job and a good salary but I've ended up taking high interest short term loans just to pay for day to day living as all my spare money has gone into the trading account.
I feel pretty ashamed by all this and writing this post has been hard for me. I'm a very private person and no one really knows how bad this has gotten. I am considering going to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting but there aren't any that are very close to me from what I can find.
Anyway that's my story in short - It was really driven home today when calling my bank they greeted by with 'Happy Birthday' then were very apologetic when they couldn't extend my overdraft because of all the payments to spreadbetting companies and PayDay loans.
I do feel pretty much like I have mortgaged by 30's (I'm 31 today) over the last few years.
Thanks for reading!
Welcome...
Id suggest giving the helpline a ring....there great and will talk you through the choices you can make.....read diaries on here....you'll pick up ways to fight your addiction.....good luck
Hi Noxuk, welcome and thanks for sharing your story. Do keep us updated with how you are doing, we will help and advise on this forum as much as we can and as Loxxie said make use of the helpline and all of the other resources open to you. I must admit I also dabbled with financial spreadbetting, CFD's (much the same thing) and lost thousands before I got into sports betting. It is easy to be drawn into it because it is given a very glamourous image that someone doing it can become a city slicker like the rich bankers in the square mile. A lot more classy than someone in a betting shop or someone betting on the football or horses when really financial "trading" is just another form of gambling, pure and simple. I learnt that the only winners in the long run are the spreadbetting firms and the market makers. Again it is a dream and fantasy like other forms of gambling.
All the best in the your recovery.
Thanks for the comments and advice.
I've spoken to StepChange about the debt, I am considering a DMP as although may affect credit rating (I shouldn't be taking more credit anyway) it should let me get everything cleared within a couple of years at most and hopefully get all the interest frozen.
I'll also give the GamCare helpline a call as recommended.
Ucantwinever: Yep, I think my biggest problem is that I had some good success with it that just kept things rolling. But looking back I just couldn't control my risk and so I'd end up losing everything. I'm sure some people have a lot of success as they are able to manage their risk but at the moment I don't think it is for me. I have a good income and need to focus on making sure I don't lose that through my problem with gambling on spreadbetting.
Oddly, I'm fine with sports betting. I sometimes have a bet but it is always small I don't keep funding the betting accounts. It only seems to be trading, and I think because I thought I could solve all my problems over night with one good trade which led me to using positions that were too large or just bad trades without thinking. It was 100% gambling the way I approached it and I was definitely addicted as it occupied most of my thoughts most of the time.
First of all well done for admitting you have a problem.As you say the next 6-12 months are going to be crucial but if you really want to stop gambling you have to want to stop and never gamble again like me I have to take on board every bit of advice on board at the same time take the rough with the smooth both financially and emotionally remember it's what's makes us gamble.Gamcare have been brilliant and I have just been to my first GA meeting it's early days but hopefully it will get better good luck
Hi there well done I know how hard it is to admit you have a problem & you have got over a massive hurdle by admitting it, I'm on day 7 at the moment & im doing ok I know I'm going to have bad days were I desperately want to bet, but I'm going to be strong & beat this & you can do this as well BELIEVE!!!! If you ever want a chat I'm here my name is Paul & we can support each other
Scary but true you put the tools in place and they say it can get easier long as you believe that then you will see some hope
12 months away - no.
Quit for good - yes.
There is no breaking the pattern, compulsive gamblers are wired differently than everyone else.
If you enjoy trading then set up an ebay account and deal in tangible goods instead of numbers on a screen. I'm on year 2 of running two online businesses and it's more work but ultimately more fun too - and without the stupid risk.
Hi Everyone,
Thanks for all the messages of support!
Kevz123, you are quite right and it does need to be for good.
I'm focusing on work and trying to keep my head down at the moment. I expect that as the weeks and months go by things will get better, I still have the temptation to trade but I think that more seems to be with a desire to clear my debt I don't actually feel a need to gamble for the sake of gambling. It was always chasing losses to try and get that magical debt payment cleared but maybe that's just how it manifested itself. Once I had funded that account I was pretty much just taking any trade rather than trying to apply some structure to it so I it was a gambling approach I was taking, as soon as the losses kicked in I lost all sense of sensible approaches and just started losing more.
I don't have any urge to go to casinos, sports bet or play online scratch cards or anything so I guess that's a good thing!
Hi Noxuk. I'm new to this site too. I just want to say well done for admitting that you have a problem. I'm not a gambler myself but my husband is and he's in exactly the same position you are, good job, good wage etc but it's not enough for him.
I hope that you can just take one day at a time and get the help that's out there. Take care.
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